Jeremy's Wild Kingdom

It's Deer vs Turkeys vs The Neighbors' Cat for Ultimate Backyard Supremacy!


Let's get ready to not pay Michael Buffer any royaltieeeeeeeeeeees!


Not long ago, there was a remarkably entertaining spectacle. It featured a Battle Royale for majority control of my back yard. No, I was not involved...for some reason, I got left out. The players were a flock of 12 wild turkeys, 3 deer, and the neighbors' cat.


Tale of the tape:
White-Tailed Deer - Length 70", weight 200lbs
Wild Turkey - Length 30", weight 11lbs
Orange Tabby Cat - Length 18", weight 9lbs


I don't know who threw down first, but I imagine the cat was offended that all these foreigners were encroaching on his (or her...I actually don't know) turf. Either that, or the cat just wanted to hunt birds, and the Turkeys seemed tasty. So, the cat started chasing the turkeys around, and they didn't really want to have anything to do with him. Of course, the Deer, being significantly larger than the cat, were offended by the cat's presence, and started chasing after him and stamping their hooves.

After a while, the deer decided the cat wasn't a threat to anyone and moseyed back into the woods, but kept an eye on the proceedings. So the cat was now free to pounce around at the turkeys...which is actually pretty hilarious to watch. There were 12 turkeys, and each of them was bigger than the cat, and yet, every time the cat would move, the turkeys would scamper away. I guess even Wild Turkeys know their place on the Thanksgiving table. So, the cat was having a blast chasing the turkeys around the yard, never actually coming within 3 feet of any of them.

Once the cat was sufficiently satisfied that the turkeys were no longer on "his" property (which, BTW...I like to believe that it's mine, but try telling THAT to a cat) he lost interest in the turkeys and went off to take a dump in my raspberry bushes. Thanks for that.