I would like to thank the Academy for snubbing the Coen Brothers
True Grit was a pretty good movie, I think.
Well, that's your opinion. I haven't seen it.
Then how did I see it? I'm confused...
So disapproval comes in many different forms. There's stuff you simply don't like, stuff you just don't need again, stuff you hate, and stuff you hate with the blinding white-hot passion of 1000 suns (See: Cage, Nicolas). The Coen Brothers fall into the category of stuff I'm just done with...I don't need to see any more of their movies.
Over the years, I've seen a number of their films (Including "Raising Arizona" starring Nicolas Cage...little bit of chicken and egg there, I think), and have walked away impressed by none of them. In fact, my reaction to just about every one of their films I've ever seen is a somber, "What was that?"
As such, when their most recent film, a remake of the 1969 John Wayne film "True Grit," was nominated for "Best Picture" among other Oscars...I rooted against it. I don't want to encourage this type of behavior.
Film remakes?
Coen Brothers films. At least Nicolas Cage was nowhere to be found in this year's Academy Awards. How the frig did he ever get an Oscar?
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
It's just not
Pink Floyd is NOT HOCKEY MUSIC!
I couldn't agree with you more, Jeremy. Can I go home now?
Almost done. So, during the second period of last night's LA Kings game, the DJ, in his infinite wisdom, starts playing "Time" by Pink Floyd in between plays. What the crap is that all about? It makes no sense at all...because Pink Floyd is NOT HOCKEY MUSIC!
You kept me around for that?
Well, yes...and this useful news item.
From people OTHER than the people who brought you Every Topic In The Universe Except Chickens, comes the first 24-Hour TV channel about chickens. Yes...it's The Rotisserie Channel. I'm not making this up.
Have a good weekend, everybody!
I couldn't agree with you more, Jeremy. Can I go home now?
Almost done. So, during the second period of last night's LA Kings game, the DJ, in his infinite wisdom, starts playing "Time" by Pink Floyd in between plays. What the crap is that all about? It makes no sense at all...because Pink Floyd is NOT HOCKEY MUSIC!
You kept me around for that?
Well, yes...and this useful news item.
From people OTHER than the people who brought you Every Topic In The Universe Except Chickens, comes the first 24-Hour TV channel about chickens. Yes...it's The Rotisserie Channel. I'm not making this up.
Have a good weekend, everybody!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Another classic movie ruined, courtesy of Jeremy
Silly Kenny Loggins. F-14s have Afterburners, not Overdrive.
For today's off-base rant, Jeremy will be referring to the lyrics to Kenny Loggins' classic song, "Danger Zone," particularly its use in the soundtrack to "Top Gun". Jeremy, please destroy everyone's appreciation.
Thank you, LIR.
My issue with this song lies in the line, "She got you jumpin' off the deck. Shovin' into overdrive". This line is wrong on multiple levels.
Provided, of course, you're a huge geek...
First of all, the movie is about flying planes...Navy F-14s to be specific. There are a handful of scenes where Tom Cruise is shown riding around on a motorcycle, but that's not the main point of the film...so we'll stick with the planes.
First of all, the use of the word "Overdrive" is troubling when referring to planes. Simply put, planes don't have an Overdrive. In the specific case of an F-14, which uses a pair of turbofan jet engines, the method they use to generate extra power is through the use of Afterburners. This means they're able to spray extra fuel into the hot exhaust gasses of the engine, causing further combustion, more power, and flames to shoot out the back...you've probably seen Pictures Of This. (For the sake of simplicity, I made sure to link to a picture of an F-14 using its afterburners so there's no confusion.)
"Overdrive" is actually a bit of a misnomer with many modern cars. Originally, gear ratios on transmissions were tuned in such a way that the car's engine would achieve maximum power at a final drive ratio that would achieve the car's maximum speed (pushing against the air resistance). One method of conserving fuel is to have the final drive ratio be higher than that of the engine, which also serves to lower the power available, since the engine will be turning at slower speeds. This allows cars to cruise at highway-type speeds with the engine running at its most efficient, rather than at its peak power. A side effect of this is that the car can no longer run at its theoretical top speed, since the force of air resistance would be enough to equal the engine's power output. Since this equilibrium wouldn't happen until well over "Pull Me Over" speed, it turns out not to matter much to the average driver, and the gas savings of having your car cruise at 2000RPM vs 4000RPM helps put your mind at ease.
The advent of this technology came about first in rear-wheel drive cars, in which a second gear box was attached and controlled separately from the main transmission. The popularity of 5 (and later 6)-speed transmissions with a direct drive gear and an overdriven gear made the use of the separate gear box obsolete. Also, the increased popularity of front-wheel drive cars has merged all of this into the single transaxle, eliminating the propeller shaft...thus removing the "overdrive" from the equation. Of course, almost all cars on the road now have a top gear over-tuned than that for maximum speed, so the theory still applies, even if "Overdrive" is a bit antiquated.
And the point of all this?
Well, our boy Kenny Loggins is clearly implying that shovin' the plane into overdrive will result in more power and thus a more substantial experience when jumpin' off the deck. Since we've clearly established that overdrive actually makes a vehicle less powerful, the line makes no sense at all.
Get some help, Jeremy.
For today's off-base rant, Jeremy will be referring to the lyrics to Kenny Loggins' classic song, "Danger Zone," particularly its use in the soundtrack to "Top Gun". Jeremy, please destroy everyone's appreciation.
Thank you, LIR.
My issue with this song lies in the line, "She got you jumpin' off the deck. Shovin' into overdrive". This line is wrong on multiple levels.
Provided, of course, you're a huge geek...
First of all, the movie is about flying planes...Navy F-14s to be specific. There are a handful of scenes where Tom Cruise is shown riding around on a motorcycle, but that's not the main point of the film...so we'll stick with the planes.
First of all, the use of the word "Overdrive" is troubling when referring to planes. Simply put, planes don't have an Overdrive. In the specific case of an F-14, which uses a pair of turbofan jet engines, the method they use to generate extra power is through the use of Afterburners. This means they're able to spray extra fuel into the hot exhaust gasses of the engine, causing further combustion, more power, and flames to shoot out the back...you've probably seen Pictures Of This. (For the sake of simplicity, I made sure to link to a picture of an F-14 using its afterburners so there's no confusion.)
"Overdrive" is actually a bit of a misnomer with many modern cars. Originally, gear ratios on transmissions were tuned in such a way that the car's engine would achieve maximum power at a final drive ratio that would achieve the car's maximum speed (pushing against the air resistance). One method of conserving fuel is to have the final drive ratio be higher than that of the engine, which also serves to lower the power available, since the engine will be turning at slower speeds. This allows cars to cruise at highway-type speeds with the engine running at its most efficient, rather than at its peak power. A side effect of this is that the car can no longer run at its theoretical top speed, since the force of air resistance would be enough to equal the engine's power output. Since this equilibrium wouldn't happen until well over "Pull Me Over" speed, it turns out not to matter much to the average driver, and the gas savings of having your car cruise at 2000RPM vs 4000RPM helps put your mind at ease.
The advent of this technology came about first in rear-wheel drive cars, in which a second gear box was attached and controlled separately from the main transmission. The popularity of 5 (and later 6)-speed transmissions with a direct drive gear and an overdriven gear made the use of the separate gear box obsolete. Also, the increased popularity of front-wheel drive cars has merged all of this into the single transaxle, eliminating the propeller shaft...thus removing the "overdrive" from the equation. Of course, almost all cars on the road now have a top gear over-tuned than that for maximum speed, so the theory still applies, even if "Overdrive" is a bit antiquated.
And the point of all this?
Well, our boy Kenny Loggins is clearly implying that shovin' the plane into overdrive will result in more power and thus a more substantial experience when jumpin' off the deck. Since we've clearly established that overdrive actually makes a vehicle less powerful, the line makes no sense at all.
Get some help, Jeremy.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Drawing a Blank
Happy "Curling Is Cool" Day Everybody!
Of course it's cool. It's played on ice.
You got that right on the Button. Glad you could really Sweep that point home. To the House, as it were.
What are you doing?
Woah! Take it easy. No need to Skip ahead and get all crazy.
You're not making any sense. That is to say, less than usual.
Just because you want to Hog all the credit?
Nobody gets credit for this Blag. It's more of a punishment, actually.
Is that any reason to have your Guard all up?
Oh, I get it now...you're turning today's Blag entry into one big Bonspiel.
Now you're on a Roll!
Of course it's cool. It's played on ice.
You got that right on the Button. Glad you could really Sweep that point home. To the House, as it were.
What are you doing?
Woah! Take it easy. No need to Skip ahead and get all crazy.
You're not making any sense. That is to say, less than usual.
Just because you want to Hog all the credit?
Nobody gets credit for this Blag. It's more of a punishment, actually.
Is that any reason to have your Guard all up?
Oh, I get it now...you're turning today's Blag entry into one big Bonspiel.
Now you're on a Roll!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Fun or gross?
Here's a Fun Fact! "Pleasing Fungus" is an insect, not a mushroom
It's also a really messed up verb and noun combo.
Pleasing Fungus is a type of beetle, called Erotylidae by those who do that sort of thing. It's actually an entire family of beetle which contains more than 100 different genre.
The Pleasing Fungus beetles generally feed on plant and fungal matter, and rarely pose any significant irritation to humans.
Until they meet Yoko Ono.
Wait, what?
It's also a really messed up verb and noun combo.
Pleasing Fungus is a type of beetle, called Erotylidae by those who do that sort of thing. It's actually an entire family of beetle which contains more than 100 different genre.
The Pleasing Fungus beetles generally feed on plant and fungal matter, and rarely pose any significant irritation to humans.
Until they meet Yoko Ono.
Wait, what?
Monday, February 21, 2011
Down with Phil!
Now forming Groundhog Hunting Parties. Inquire within.
Wow. Another weather-related post?
Well, yeah. It seems like only last week it was 60 degrees (16 C) outside.
It was last week. Friday, in fact.
So when I woke up to 4 more inches (10cm) of new snow on the ground, and perhaps more importantly, my driveway, I was immediately put into a cranky mood. Combine that with my usual monday crankiness, and you get a weather-themed Sametime Status. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.
On a related, yet wholly unrelated note, if anybody knows how to remove a word from the user dictionary on a Droid X, go ahead and let me know. For some unknown reason, not long ago, I forgot how to spell the word "tomorrow" while trying to text it to somebody. The phone offered an alternative spelling (which turned out to be the correct one, and when I tried to press it, I'm not sure how, but I ended up storing my new creative spelling into the spell checker. So now, when I try to text "tomorrow" to somebody, the first thing my phone does is try to spell it "tommorow." This makes me sad, and a little annoyed at myself...since I really have nobody else to blame for this one.
Wow. Another weather-related post?
Well, yeah. It seems like only last week it was 60 degrees (16 C) outside.
It was last week. Friday, in fact.
So when I woke up to 4 more inches (10cm) of new snow on the ground, and perhaps more importantly, my driveway, I was immediately put into a cranky mood. Combine that with my usual monday crankiness, and you get a weather-themed Sametime Status. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.
On a related, yet wholly unrelated note, if anybody knows how to remove a word from the user dictionary on a Droid X, go ahead and let me know. For some unknown reason, not long ago, I forgot how to spell the word "tomorrow" while trying to text it to somebody. The phone offered an alternative spelling (which turned out to be the correct one, and when I tried to press it, I'm not sure how, but I ended up storing my new creative spelling into the spell checker. So now, when I try to text "tomorrow" to somebody, the first thing my phone does is try to spell it "tommorow." This makes me sad, and a little annoyed at myself...since I really have nobody else to blame for this one.
Friday, February 18, 2011
It's real to me!
We miss you, Pluto!
Yeah...I reminisce about all those old Disney characters all the time, too.
Unfortunately, wrong Pluto.
The Roman God of the Underworld?
The Kuiper Belt object formerly known as a planet, causing widespread chaos by forcing us to re-write the "My Very Educated Mother" mnemonic. What if I want Nine Pizzas instead of Noodles? It's a bunch of crap!
And you picked today to wax nostalgic about a desolate frozen wasteland that makes Hoth look like a tropical resort?
Well, today is the anniversary of the day Pluto was discovered by Clyde Tombaugh.
...and you're a nerd...
That about covers it.
Yeah...I reminisce about all those old Disney characters all the time, too.
Unfortunately, wrong Pluto.
The Roman God of the Underworld?
The Kuiper Belt object formerly known as a planet, causing widespread chaos by forcing us to re-write the "My Very Educated Mother" mnemonic. What if I want Nine Pizzas instead of Noodles? It's a bunch of crap!
And you picked today to wax nostalgic about a desolate frozen wasteland that makes Hoth look like a tropical resort?
Well, today is the anniversary of the day Pluto was discovered by Clyde Tombaugh.
...and you're a nerd...
That about covers it.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
It will be quite loud
My email won't be silenced, apparently!
Power to the people! Who's trying to suppress your freedom of speech?
The email server I use at work.
I'm losing interest in your story.
So, like pretty much every email account in existence, my email server limits me to a certain quota I'm allowed to use. When your space consumed nears the limit, it starts sending you emails saying that you need to reduce your mail file size...either by deleting old emails or...uhm...well...deleting old emails.
This is a laborious process to go through, and somewhat annoying. Like most people, I put this off until the last possible moment. This means that at some point, I go over my allotted disk space, and my email account gets frozen. I can no longer send emails until I get down below the maximum file size...a phenomenon commonly referred to as "Mail Jail."
When you enter Mail Jail, you get an email saying that your email account is disabled. Well...I'm not sure how I pulled this off, but I've gotten this email 4 times in as many days this week...and yet, my email still functions! Woohoo! Fight the power!
Power to the people! Who's trying to suppress your freedom of speech?
The email server I use at work.
I'm losing interest in your story.
So, like pretty much every email account in existence, my email server limits me to a certain quota I'm allowed to use. When your space consumed nears the limit, it starts sending you emails saying that you need to reduce your mail file size...either by deleting old emails or...uhm...well...deleting old emails.
This is a laborious process to go through, and somewhat annoying. Like most people, I put this off until the last possible moment. This means that at some point, I go over my allotted disk space, and my email account gets frozen. I can no longer send emails until I get down below the maximum file size...a phenomenon commonly referred to as "Mail Jail."
When you enter Mail Jail, you get an email saying that your email account is disabled. Well...I'm not sure how I pulled this off, but I've gotten this email 4 times in as many days this week...and yet, my email still functions! Woohoo! Fight the power!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Needs Clarification
As sad as I am to admit it, Bon Jovi clearly has me beaten in the "Faces Rocked" category
So how many faces have you rocked?
That's the thing. I'm not sure. The whole thing seems a little ambiguous to me, as to exactly when and how a face becomes "rocked." And as such, I feel obligated to Call Bunk on Jon Bon Jovi's claim that he has rocked a full one million faces. If you go with the most literal sense, meaning that somebody's face gets hit by a rock, I'm pretty sure I'm throwing a big goose egg up on the board.
You said Rocks, not Eggs.
Now that said, I'm reasonably certain that Bon Jovi (yes, I know his real name is Bongiovi, but I'm going to stick with the stage name) has NOT thrown enough rocks to strike one million faces. I firmly believe that one rock can hit at least 3-4 faces before losing momentum, but even that means a minimum of 250,000 rocks thrown. That's a lot. I'm pretty sure that I haven't thrown that many rocks in my lifetime, leave alone throw them directly at somebody's face.
Let's go with the more reasonable assumption that "rocking faces" is a musical term, since Bon Jovi is a musician after all. This is a pretty tenuous assumption because only one line in the song makes any reference to the protagonist being a musician (...a loaded six-string on my back...) and there is never a mention that his motorcycle-borne travels are for the express purpose of putting on concerts with said six-string. The fact that he is (canonically speaking) wanted by law enforcement would suggest his primary occupation is otherwise. Despite this, the claim is made that the main character has rocked each and every one of the one million faces he has come across in his travels. While I won't begin to doubt the 1 Million number, the belief that every last one of those people was so enamored by his music that it could be said that their faces were rocked is a remarkable reach. Even at a sold-out Bon Jovi concert, I can guarantee there is somebody in that audience who won't like whatever song is being played at any given moment.
Sadly, I myself have played precious few concerts that can be even remotely categorized as "rock" so my number of rocked faces using this definition is pretty low. So, it's unfortunate for me to admit it, but Bon Jovi has almost assuredly rocked more faces than I have...but I'm definitely calling shenanigans on his One-Million, One Hundred Percent claim.
So how many faces have you rocked?
That's the thing. I'm not sure. The whole thing seems a little ambiguous to me, as to exactly when and how a face becomes "rocked." And as such, I feel obligated to Call Bunk on Jon Bon Jovi's claim that he has rocked a full one million faces. If you go with the most literal sense, meaning that somebody's face gets hit by a rock, I'm pretty sure I'm throwing a big goose egg up on the board.
You said Rocks, not Eggs.
Now that said, I'm reasonably certain that Bon Jovi (yes, I know his real name is Bongiovi, but I'm going to stick with the stage name) has NOT thrown enough rocks to strike one million faces. I firmly believe that one rock can hit at least 3-4 faces before losing momentum, but even that means a minimum of 250,000 rocks thrown. That's a lot. I'm pretty sure that I haven't thrown that many rocks in my lifetime, leave alone throw them directly at somebody's face.
Let's go with the more reasonable assumption that "rocking faces" is a musical term, since Bon Jovi is a musician after all. This is a pretty tenuous assumption because only one line in the song makes any reference to the protagonist being a musician (...a loaded six-string on my back...) and there is never a mention that his motorcycle-borne travels are for the express purpose of putting on concerts with said six-string. The fact that he is (canonically speaking) wanted by law enforcement would suggest his primary occupation is otherwise. Despite this, the claim is made that the main character has rocked each and every one of the one million faces he has come across in his travels. While I won't begin to doubt the 1 Million number, the belief that every last one of those people was so enamored by his music that it could be said that their faces were rocked is a remarkable reach. Even at a sold-out Bon Jovi concert, I can guarantee there is somebody in that audience who won't like whatever song is being played at any given moment.
Sadly, I myself have played precious few concerts that can be even remotely categorized as "rock" so my number of rocked faces using this definition is pretty low. So, it's unfortunate for me to admit it, but Bon Jovi has almost assuredly rocked more faces than I have...but I'm definitely calling shenanigans on his One-Million, One Hundred Percent claim.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Laser Tag is Awesome!
When and where is this Laser Tag Championship Barney keeps talking about?
For clarity's sake, you should probably explain who Barney is.
Barney, of course, refers to Barney Stinson, a character on the sitcom "How I Met Your Mother." He is obsessed with all things awesome, including playing laser tag. The last few episodes, he's mentioned a Laser Tag Regional Championship or something that he intends to compete in. That Championship is apparently near where I live, so I'm interested in getting more information on it.
I'm not sure I'd play, depending on the entry fee and level of competition (which I imagine would be pretty high), but if absolutely nothing else, I imagine an event this important would be open to spectators, so I could get tickets to watch. It would be legen...wait for it...dary!
For clarity's sake, you should probably explain who Barney is.
Barney, of course, refers to Barney Stinson, a character on the sitcom "How I Met Your Mother." He is obsessed with all things awesome, including playing laser tag. The last few episodes, he's mentioned a Laser Tag Regional Championship or something that he intends to compete in. That Championship is apparently near where I live, so I'm interested in getting more information on it.
I'm not sure I'd play, depending on the entry fee and level of competition (which I imagine would be pretty high), but if absolutely nothing else, I imagine an event this important would be open to spectators, so I could get tickets to watch. It would be legen...wait for it...dary!
Friday, February 11, 2011
It can't be
Did it just feel like Saturday, or was it just me?
Jeremy...we've talked about this. It's just you. It's always just you.
It was one of those weird things...I came into work, said hi to a couple coworkers, then wondered why I was at work on a Saturday. It's Friday.
Yeah, well you've slacked off so long writing this nonsense that it practically is Saturday.
There's still a few hours of work left. Have a good weekend, everybody!
Jeremy...we've talked about this. It's just you. It's always just you.
It was one of those weird things...I came into work, said hi to a couple coworkers, then wondered why I was at work on a Saturday. It's Friday.
Yeah, well you've slacked off so long writing this nonsense that it practically is Saturday.
There's still a few hours of work left. Have a good weekend, everybody!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
I'm a genius!
The Post Office is going bankrupt. Politicians still send campaign junk mail through the Post Office for free. Birds...meet Stone!
Jeremy is thinking outside the box again. This is usually disastrous. This time, he's thinking outside the Mailbox.
So I ready an article not long ago about how the US Postal Service is about to default on some of its financial commitments or something. It didn't seem especially memorable at the time because the Postal Service is a lot like newspapers these days. They both are holding on to the fact that they were once relevant, and aren't entirely sure how to function in today's society.
The end result is pretty much the same in both cases. Lower quality, layoffs, whining about the shortsightedness of paying into pension plans...the usual management party lines. Before long, we won't have Mail delivery on Saturday, stamps will be over 50 cents by the end of June, and keep rising, more letter carriers will be laid off and have fewer hours, and more people will still opt to send emails instead of letters. Also, people will read the internets instead of buying a newspaper...and the newspaper industry will still not find a solution to the paper making your hands all black when you pick up the stupid thing.
During all of this, one thing will remain the same. Politicians will still want, and get, stuff for free. This includes mail. Through the magic of "Congressional Franking", members of congress don't pay a cent to mail you whatever they deem "Official Business." And since 6 months out of every 2 years, that "Official Business" is nothing more than re-election, they mail out all kinds of garbage. You get postcards, and pamphlets, newsletters, advertisements, and manifestos from your favorite elected officials that you promptly ignore and throw directly into the trash. The closer it gets to election day, the more likely you are to toss this crap in the shredder out of spite.
Let's solve both problems! Start charging elected officials for postage on all of this propagandist nonsense. Either the post office will no longer have to deliver this junk for free, and they make more money and don't have to lay people off, or conversely, less crap gets sent through the mail, lowering the operating expenses of the post office, and less of my time and waste management resources get spent dealing with the excess garbage. Win-Win-Win! Jeremy Is A Genius!
Jeremy is thinking outside the box again. This is usually disastrous. This time, he's thinking outside the Mailbox.
So I ready an article not long ago about how the US Postal Service is about to default on some of its financial commitments or something. It didn't seem especially memorable at the time because the Postal Service is a lot like newspapers these days. They both are holding on to the fact that they were once relevant, and aren't entirely sure how to function in today's society.
The end result is pretty much the same in both cases. Lower quality, layoffs, whining about the shortsightedness of paying into pension plans...the usual management party lines. Before long, we won't have Mail delivery on Saturday, stamps will be over 50 cents by the end of June, and keep rising, more letter carriers will be laid off and have fewer hours, and more people will still opt to send emails instead of letters. Also, people will read the internets instead of buying a newspaper...and the newspaper industry will still not find a solution to the paper making your hands all black when you pick up the stupid thing.
During all of this, one thing will remain the same. Politicians will still want, and get, stuff for free. This includes mail. Through the magic of "Congressional Franking", members of congress don't pay a cent to mail you whatever they deem "Official Business." And since 6 months out of every 2 years, that "Official Business" is nothing more than re-election, they mail out all kinds of garbage. You get postcards, and pamphlets, newsletters, advertisements, and manifestos from your favorite elected officials that you promptly ignore and throw directly into the trash. The closer it gets to election day, the more likely you are to toss this crap in the shredder out of spite.
Let's solve both problems! Start charging elected officials for postage on all of this propagandist nonsense. Either the post office will no longer have to deliver this junk for free, and they make more money and don't have to lay people off, or conversely, less crap gets sent through the mail, lowering the operating expenses of the post office, and less of my time and waste management resources get spent dealing with the excess garbage. Win-Win-Win! Jeremy Is A Genius!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Now would be a good time
Okay, Groundhog. Ready when you are.
Another weather-related post?
Yes. Winter sucks, and I'd just like to make sure that all of the Loyal Readers out there are just as aware of this as I am.
You are aware that Punxsutawney Phil doesn't actually control the weather, right? He just predicts it...and even then, he's right Less Than 40% Of The Time.
Wait...40%?
39, to be exact.
Why is it we make a big deal out of this forecasting furball then?
No idea.
Either way, it's frickin' cold outside today, and I'd rather it be warm. So...uhm...get on that!
Another weather-related post?
Yes. Winter sucks, and I'd just like to make sure that all of the Loyal Readers out there are just as aware of this as I am.
You are aware that Punxsutawney Phil doesn't actually control the weather, right? He just predicts it...and even then, he's right Less Than 40% Of The Time.
Wait...40%?
39, to be exact.
Why is it we make a big deal out of this forecasting furball then?
No idea.
Either way, it's frickin' cold outside today, and I'd rather it be warm. So...uhm...get on that!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Enrico Pallazzo would be proud
Jeremy Is In The at the twilight's last gleaming
It would appear that Jeremy watched the Super Bowl last night.
Indeed I did. It was super. If, of course, you don't count the disappointing commercials, turnover-ridden game full of dropped passes, lousy halftime show (I will give credit where credit is due...the surprise appearance of Slash was pretty good, though Fergie's wanton destruction of the ensuing song left plenty to be desired), and Navy flyover of a domed stadium (your tax dollars at work). Aside from that, it was an experience for the ages.
Oh yeah...and just before the game, Christina Aguilera had the honor of singing the national anthem. I guess this was a last-minute change, since she didn't bother learning the words beforehand. I don't know about the rest of you, but I first learned the words to The Star Spangled Banner in kindergarten. I'm not making that up...we sang it for a "play" we put on for our parents. It was amusing to me at the time that fewer than half the kids in the class actually knew all the words, but everyone was 100% confident in the phrase "that our flag was still there." The volume of that line was far and away higher than the rest of the lyrics. Our girl Christina (or is she still X-tina...it's been so long since she's been relevant, I've forgotten) seems to be stuck in the half of the class that was only familiar with a couple lines...like "twilight's last gleaming" since she decided to ad-lib and run that line twice.
For those who missed it, Here's The Clip, and fortunately for you, you can turn it off after only 49 seconds.
Also, for your viewing pleasure, in case anyone's not familiar with the title of today's Blag entry, Enrico Pallazzo was the name of the fictitious opera singer who was to sing the National Anthem at the baseball game in The Naked Gun. The anthem was instead Performed By Frank Drebin...played of course by the late, great Leslie Nielsen. Yes, I'm serious.
It would appear that Jeremy watched the Super Bowl last night.
Indeed I did. It was super. If, of course, you don't count the disappointing commercials, turnover-ridden game full of dropped passes, lousy halftime show (I will give credit where credit is due...the surprise appearance of Slash was pretty good, though Fergie's wanton destruction of the ensuing song left plenty to be desired), and Navy flyover of a domed stadium (your tax dollars at work). Aside from that, it was an experience for the ages.
Oh yeah...and just before the game, Christina Aguilera had the honor of singing the national anthem. I guess this was a last-minute change, since she didn't bother learning the words beforehand. I don't know about the rest of you, but I first learned the words to The Star Spangled Banner in kindergarten. I'm not making that up...we sang it for a "play" we put on for our parents. It was amusing to me at the time that fewer than half the kids in the class actually knew all the words, but everyone was 100% confident in the phrase "that our flag was still there." The volume of that line was far and away higher than the rest of the lyrics. Our girl Christina (or is she still X-tina...it's been so long since she's been relevant, I've forgotten) seems to be stuck in the half of the class that was only familiar with a couple lines...like "twilight's last gleaming" since she decided to ad-lib and run that line twice.
For those who missed it, Here's The Clip, and fortunately for you, you can turn it off after only 49 seconds.
Also, for your viewing pleasure, in case anyone's not familiar with the title of today's Blag entry, Enrico Pallazzo was the name of the fictitious opera singer who was to sing the National Anthem at the baseball game in The Naked Gun. The anthem was instead Performed By Frank Drebin...played of course by the late, great Leslie Nielsen. Yes, I'm serious.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Billy Smith would be proud
The Islanders can’t even win a goalie fight
This hockey post, for those of you unaware, is referring to the New York Islanders hockey club. They're pretty terrible. As of this writing, they are dead last in the Eastern Conference with a record of 16-28-7. Lousy.
So nothing seems to go right for the poor Islanders. Over the last 5 seasons, they've had miserable luck with injuries, free agent signings, a disastrous contract for goalie Rick DiPietro, suspensions (See Simon, Chris), and draft picks (Aside from John Tavares....he's been totally decent). All of this calamity has resulted in 3 consecutive last-place finishes in their conference, a couple coaching changes, and a sense of non-stop rebuilding for a once dominant NHL franchise.
Well, all of this rebuilding is not without its frustrations. Occasionally, frustrations in hockey boil over, resulting in some fisticuffs on the ice. On extremely rare and special occasions, these fights will develop into a full line brawl, where even the goalies get in on the action and drop the gloves. Such an occasion was Wednesday night when the Islanders were playing the Pittsburgh Penguins. Oft-injured Islanders goalie Rick DiPietro clothes-lined a Penguins forward, sparking a rumble during which Penguins backup goaltender Brent Johnson saw fit to skate the entire length of the ice to scrap with the Isle's netminder. DiPietro Didn't Exactly Finish What He Started. Poor Islanders...there's always next year.
UPDATE! As of 1:30PM, Islanders Goalie Rick DiPietro Will Miss 4-6 Weeks of action as a result of facial fractures suffered in this "fight."
This hockey post, for those of you unaware, is referring to the New York Islanders hockey club. They're pretty terrible. As of this writing, they are dead last in the Eastern Conference with a record of 16-28-7. Lousy.
So nothing seems to go right for the poor Islanders. Over the last 5 seasons, they've had miserable luck with injuries, free agent signings, a disastrous contract for goalie Rick DiPietro, suspensions (See Simon, Chris), and draft picks (Aside from John Tavares....he's been totally decent). All of this calamity has resulted in 3 consecutive last-place finishes in their conference, a couple coaching changes, and a sense of non-stop rebuilding for a once dominant NHL franchise.
Well, all of this rebuilding is not without its frustrations. Occasionally, frustrations in hockey boil over, resulting in some fisticuffs on the ice. On extremely rare and special occasions, these fights will develop into a full line brawl, where even the goalies get in on the action and drop the gloves. Such an occasion was Wednesday night when the Islanders were playing the Pittsburgh Penguins. Oft-injured Islanders goalie Rick DiPietro clothes-lined a Penguins forward, sparking a rumble during which Penguins backup goaltender Brent Johnson saw fit to skate the entire length of the ice to scrap with the Isle's netminder. DiPietro Didn't Exactly Finish What He Started. Poor Islanders...there's always next year.
UPDATE! As of 1:30PM, Islanders Goalie Rick DiPietro Will Miss 4-6 Weeks of action as a result of facial fractures suffered in this "fight."
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Time to buy a vice
There's still toothpaste left
The world will always have toothpaste. It's not as if it's an extraordinarily valuable commodity.
That's beside the point. The important thing to note here is that my tube of toothpaste is still not empty. There's some in there somewhere. It's just a matter of squeezing in the right place.
Truth be told, the thing is really giving up the ghost right now. Its replacement is sitting there in my medicine cabinet, champing at the bit to be put into service. Only problem is that somewhere along the line, the toothpaste company decided to put an extra little plastic cap inside the tube that is remarkably difficult to remove. At some point, I will have to just figure out how to get rid of it so I can have a functioning tube of toothpaste again...but what happens is every time I remember to do that, it's when I'm right about to brush my teeth, and don't feel like nutsing around with some dippy little plastic doodad. So I turn back to the old nearly-dried-up tube and squeeze harder in some remote location to see if it can give me one more kick at the can. It hasn't failed me yet! There's still toothpaste left!!
The world will always have toothpaste. It's not as if it's an extraordinarily valuable commodity.
That's beside the point. The important thing to note here is that my tube of toothpaste is still not empty. There's some in there somewhere. It's just a matter of squeezing in the right place.
Truth be told, the thing is really giving up the ghost right now. Its replacement is sitting there in my medicine cabinet, champing at the bit to be put into service. Only problem is that somewhere along the line, the toothpaste company decided to put an extra little plastic cap inside the tube that is remarkably difficult to remove. At some point, I will have to just figure out how to get rid of it so I can have a functioning tube of toothpaste again...but what happens is every time I remember to do that, it's when I'm right about to brush my teeth, and don't feel like nutsing around with some dippy little plastic doodad. So I turn back to the old nearly-dried-up tube and squeeze harder in some remote location to see if it can give me one more kick at the can. It hasn't failed me yet! There's still toothpaste left!!
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