As Some Point, Donald Trump Gets Involved

Hopefully, congress doesn’t have to vote on my tax refund

Can I vote Nay?  

As long as you understand that my not getting my tax refund will involve cuts to staff, including imaginary alter-personas.  

Yeah, like you pay me anyway. 

So it's that time of year again!  Tax season!  How very exciting.  Compiling a barrage of paperwork to figure out just how much of my money the government gets to keep.  Sure, I know that the government provides a ludicrous number of services in exchange for that money, and it seems like a lot when it's staring at you from a tax form, but all things considered, it's not so bad of a value.   

But it's still boring.

So I sat there for a couple hours doing my taxes and figured out just how much Uncle Sam and his state counterpart (whoever that may be) owe me.  Yes, I get a refund.  No, I can't change my exemptions any more to minimize that.  That's part of why I do my taxes early...so I'm not loaning the government money at 0% interest any longer than I absolutely have to.

Which brings me to my main joke.  I sincerely hope that congress doesn't have to vote on whether or not to pay out tax refunds.  First of all, it would get buried in committee for a couple months before a heavily modified version of the bill with several billion dollars worth of special interest projects for Wyoming tacked on ever made it to the floor of the house.  Then, it gets debated as to just how much my tax refund is going to hurt American jobs and how environmentally irresponsible is was of me to use electricity to complete my tax forms, and why should I get a tax refund when other people don't even pay federal income taxes.  

Should it ever get passed there, it moves on to the Senate where my tax refund gets hung up by people opposed to the Wyoming riders added to the bill, and there's more debate about how those riders are going to hurt American jobs and how irresponsible it was for the House to add all that special interest money to a measly tax refund bill, which is now known as the "Enhancement of Heritage Happiness Act," or, Ehh. 

One full Sunday News Talk Show Cycle later, a modified version of the bill without the Wyoming parts gets voted on, approved without a single minority vote and returned to the House.  There, it gets pushed back to committee, since the House can not approve a bill like this without Wyoming being included.  The bill dies in the House, and I don't get my tax refund.

This Seems Foreign To Me

Green Day should do a cover of Foreigner’s “Blue Morning, Blue Day”

Aside from making your little imaginary world a more whimsical place to be, why would they do this?

For the sheer amusement factor, of course.  I think they should make this project an Urgent priority.

You know...I think you did a Sametime Status message like this before, but I can't remember.  It still Feels Like The First Time.

I did do something like this not too long ago.  I fact, That Was Yesterday.

Yesterday was Sunday, you didn't have a Sametime Status.  I know because every day you don't have a Status makes me want to kill myself.  Basically, I Don't Want To Live Without You.

There's no need to get all Hot Blooded about this.  There's no need to get all Hot Blooded about this.

Weird...I read that line twice.  It's like I have Double Vision or something.

You should take your temperature.  If you're Cold As Ice, that could be indicative of a problem. 

I don't have a thermometer here.  I'm a Long, Long Way From Home.

Well, not to play Head Games with you, but I have to get back to work.  I'll be back tomorrow with more Sametimey Goodness.

Do you promise you'll have something tomorrow?  Say You Will.

Uhmm....I don't know how to segue into Juke Box Hero. 

Nice Title, Too

You’re pretty awesome for looking at my Sametime Status.  Happy World Compliment Day, Everybody!

Thanks, Jeremy.  You're pretty awesome too.  Thanks for posting these great Status Messages all the time.  Your work goes unappreciated sometimes.  

You're welcome, LIR.  How very nice of you to notice that I do put a lot of time and effort into these things.  Well...a lot of effort anyway.  Well...sometimes.  You're the best imaginary alter-persona a Blag author could ask for.

I get it from the best!

You want to stop now before we nauseate ourselves?

That's probably wise.  See you tomorrow.

It seems heavy

What kind of shovel is that guy on the orange signs using anyway?


The "Men At Work" road signs? I see those a lot Down Under.


Terrific. But, yes, those are the signs I'm talking about. They feature a sorta-stick-figure guy pushing a shovel of some sort. It's really big and grossly misshapen. Check It Out For Yourself. It never made any sense to me what exactly that guy was supposed to be doing.


It does look pretty big. Seems that it might be a bit of Overkill for a shovel.


Seriously? You're doing this again? Why do you do this?


Well, if I don't, who will? Seriously...Who Can It Be Now?


Well, I think you've thoroughly destroyed any thoughts I had of having a good Blag entry today. Satisfied?


I think I have Everything I Need. See you tomorrow.

...In a Blag far far away

In celebration of "Virtual Worlds" Day, today’s Sametime Status is Imaginary


Those of us in the United Federation of Planets think this is a way of posting on the lazy.


Oh come on! Today is Virtual Worlds Day...and since the Internetz is a virtual world in and of itself, today is a day to celebrate...well...me!


Technically, you're not virtual. Only one of us is imaginary.


In that case, Happy Virtual Worlds Day, LIR. You help make this Blag a place to be.


Happy to help! Do I get presents?


I'll send an E-Card later.

It'll take a long time to cook this way

It's pretty annoying when your propane tank runs empty mid-steak


Sounds like you had a steak on the cold yesterday.


Well, not exactly. If you'll remember A While Back, I told you about a funky wireless grill thermometer I have. Well, I was watching the handset intently (A watched pot never boils, but a watched steak over flames still cooks as it turns out) waiting for it to reach optimum temperature...and when it was about 13 degrees below setpoint, it seemed to stall. I was curious and hungry, which prompted me to look out at the grill...where there were no longer flames.


13 degrees isn't so bad. Definitely above tartare.


Exactly, so while my steak was on the rare side of medium...it was not exactly to my liking, but totally edible. Of course, the fact remains that I have a couple bratwursts sitting in my fridge right now that belong on the grill tonight, and an empty propane tank. I can see this being problematic.


Sounds like you need to get a refill on the quick.