I Can't Come Up With A Slider Joke

The one Goose was being a jerk to all the others.  You might say he was being a Maverick.

I bet you told him a joke.  You're a real Jester.  

So not long ago, I enjoyed a relaxing bike trip out to a nearby park which contains a "Lake."  They call it a lake on the maps and in the name of the park, but I'd barely even call this thing an overgrown pond.  I spent a considerable portion of my time there looking for koi. 

Anyway, this lake is the home to quite a few geese, along with a bunch of ducks, and two swans.  Those things were pretty cool, but that's beside the point.  I really hate when people screw up that phase and say "besides the point," but that's beside the point as well.  

I walk my bike down to a picnic table near the water's edge past a gaggle of geese (A gaggle is technically called a skein when the geese are flying.  There's your learning for the day), and they largely ignored me.  They walked calmly away from me as I approached, but otherwise didn't seem to be too bothered with me.  I've read stories and Watched Videos about geese attacking people, but I was pretty sure those involved protecting nests and eggs.  There didn't seem to be any nests, eggs, or goslings around, so I thought I was pretty okay to walk through.  Of course, if they did decide to attack, and I ended up dying of Bird Flu, I would have nobody to blame but myself.  

You know what eats goose eggs?  Vipers.

Anyway, no such atrocity occurred, and I sat down to watch the world interact with my lake...and to throw stones into the water, as you may have guessed.  It was very peaceful until one of the geese started honking.  I looked over and one of the geese had decided to start causing all sorts of ruckus with one of the others.  

Was his name Charlie?

I don't know what the fight was about, but it was brief...involving more honking than anything else, though he did flap his wings a couple times and threaten to peck.  Their beaks aren't very sharp, so I'm not sure how much good that would have done anyway, but in Goose World, it seemed pretty aggressive.  Well, not long after that, the offending goose decided that one of the other geese was deserving of some honking and flapping as well, so he chased after that one, too.  he ended up doing this 4 or 5 times to different geese who I guess were honking behind his back or something.  All in all, it came off like the one goose was being a total jerk, but he still hung out with the rest of the gaggle.  

A Goose always needs a good Wingman.  If it was a lot colder, I bet you would have been quite the Iceman.  

So nothing really came of this little goose spat I saw, but it was entertaining for a couple minutes.  Guess I'm just lucky a Cougar didn't come around and chase everyone away.  

It would have taken all the magic of Merlin to get out of that one.  

     

This Seems Foreign To Me

Green Day should do a cover of Foreigner’s “Blue Morning, Blue Day”

Aside from making your little imaginary world a more whimsical place to be, why would they do this?

For the sheer amusement factor, of course.  I think they should make this project an Urgent priority.

You know...I think you did a Sametime Status message like this before, but I can't remember.  It still Feels Like The First Time.

I did do something like this not too long ago.  I fact, That Was Yesterday.

Yesterday was Sunday, you didn't have a Sametime Status.  I know because every day you don't have a Status makes me want to kill myself.  Basically, I Don't Want To Live Without You.

There's no need to get all Hot Blooded about this.  There's no need to get all Hot Blooded about this.

Weird...I read that line twice.  It's like I have Double Vision or something.

You should take your temperature.  If you're Cold As Ice, that could be indicative of a problem. 

I don't have a thermometer here.  I'm a Long, Long Way From Home.

Well, not to play Head Games with you, but I have to get back to work.  I'll be back tomorrow with more Sametimey Goodness.

Do you promise you'll have something tomorrow?  Say You Will.

Uhmm....I don't know how to segue into Juke Box Hero. 

It's really annoying for you to be deploying

Four rhymes in one commercial is either too many or too few.


So how many is correct? The loyal readers need to reflect.


Well, the answer depends. There is nothing wrong with making your entire commercial rhyme, or even be its own catchy jingle. Many have done that in the past, and the world as a whole is none the worse for it.

A problem arises, however, when you only have a handful of little catch phrases that you scatter around your commercial. Nobody listening is entirely sure if you want to be catchy or serious.


Is this a real commercial you're talking about? You may want to explain, or else you'll sound like a lout.


There is one commercial that's on the radio around here that does this. It's for a junkyard, so the need to be cute and jingly is pretty minimal. At the same time, the need for a memorable catch phrase is equally apparent. It's not very often that the general scrap-part-buying public is looking for a quality junkyard. However, the commercial writer wrote a script where there are exactly 4 rhyming catch phrases in a 30-second spot. Every 3rd line, roughly...it's a little weird.


Definitely sounds like a red flag. Now go off and read somebody else's Blag.

What did this mean?

Déjà vu: The experience of feeling sure that one has experienced a new situation previously.


Yeah, yeah...who didn't see this one coming?


It's interesting that you bring up precognition, since I was actually thinking of bringing it up in a later Sametime Status. You see, today's Sametime Status is the first in a series of messages designed to edutain people about various parapsychological conditions.


Really Jeremy? That was interesting on monday...maybe cute on Tuesday, but now it's just kinda getting ridiculous.


I'm not sure what you're talking about..Tuesday's Sametime Status was the latest in the saga of the Famed Toaster of Hades. I didn't start the Parapsychology series until today.


So when is this nonsense going to end?


Wow...a rhetorical question, too! You're really helping the Blag today. Thanks, LIR.

What did this mean?

Déjà vu: The experience of feeling sure that one has experienced a new situation previously.


Really?


It's true! Today's Sametime Status is the first in a series of messages designed to edutain people about various parapsychological conditions. I have a very mild passing interest in various psychological and parapsychological phenomena, including my own irrational fear of applesauce, so I thought I'd spend some time on the Blag here shining a little light on them. It'll be a thing!


We're already getting hate mail over this.


How is that even possible? This is the first one!

It only has 3 chords, too!

If the best they could do was “Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh,” is it really a bad thing that they don’t write ‘em like that anymore?


Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh


So today's message is in reference to the lyrics of "The Breakup Song" by the Greg Kihn Band.


Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh


I actually had to look up the song title, because I honestly had no idea what the song was about except for the fact that they don't write em like that anymore.


Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh


And since the uh uh uh part in between every line is so moronic, I never really cared to listen more closely.


Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh


So as it turns out, the guy's relationship ended about an hour before the song, and now he's sitting at a bar drinking and watching people dance. That's about it.


Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh


Fortunately for us, they don't write em like that anymore, so we shouldn't be subjected to any more of this nonsense. Except in blag form!


Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh