Nobody Is That Happy

So the weather has finally gotten to Jim Cantore  

He's always been a little bit off, I think.

So, in case you don't know, Jim Cantore is a guy on The Weather Channel.  He really likes weather, even when it's been as crappy as it's been here in the Greater Jeremy Area.  I honestly don't know if he's happy about the fact that when there's a hurricane, or a blizzard, or a tornado, or an oxford comma, that he's the one they send out to stand in the middle of it and tell people watching tv not to go stand out in the middle of it.  I'm sure it's fun once, but it probably gets old quickly.  

Well, recently, there was a snow storm.  Shocking, I know!  Well, it was one of those storms that The Weather Channel decided they get to name, even though nobody else does.  So, off goes Jim Cantore to stand out in the middle of it to tell you that it's snowing.  I don't know how many times he's had to do that this year, but it seems to have taken its toll on his mind.  

We'll call this People's Exhibit A.  

It seems that lightning and thunder while it's snowing is a big deal or something. 

And It's Facing Right...and It's Green

If everyone knows that the top letter of an eye chart is always E, it’s not much of a test, is it?

Again with the rhetorical questions today, Jeremy?  Getting into the political spirit?  Maybe due for a driver's license renewal?

Actually, none of the above.  It's just the sort of thing that pops into my head every now and again.  

So, you've all seen the charts they use for eye tests, with the colossal E on top, and working their way down in font size until you get to the microscopic crap that only I can read, apparently.  

Aren't you special?

Now who's being rhetorical?

Anyway, it occurred to me that every last one of these eye charts that I can think of right now has always started with an E on top.  

And everybody knows that.  So, at the very least, you can pass the 20/200 part of the eye test every time by simply saying "E" whether or not you can actually read it.     

  

This Is What I Think About

There’s something far too entertaining about throwing rocks into a body of water

Today, Jeremy will take you on a trip through his mind.  Careful...it's a bumpy ride.

 So not long ago, I had the opportunity to take a bike ride next to something called a Lake.  Growing up near one of the Great Lakes, I wouldn't exactly call this thing near my bike path a "Lake," since it's WAY too small and covered in moss and lily pads, but the people who named it got a little overzealous, so they called it a Lake.  That's beside the point.  

I took a break from my biking to toss a couple rocks into the lake, which I find more entertaining than I probably should.  In this particular instance, the bike path is on a former railroad bed, so there are lots and lots of smallish stones which are great for light tossing and make an amusing little splash and causing nearby frogs to jump around.  No, I was not aiming for, not did I hit any of the aforementioned frogs.  While being amused by my little game of "Throw Stuff Into A Lake," I thought of the fun variations on throwing rocks into water that I like to play.  Here they are, in no particular order:

There's your standard, "Pick up a nearby rock and toss it into the water."  The simplest and purest form of the sport.  You can add difficulty to it by either trying to ht something in the water (A stick or lily pad, for example), or by throwing the rock as far as you can just to see how far you can throw a rock.  

A classic is, of course, stone skipping, or skimming.  You take a flat stone and throw it side-armed near the water so that it bounces off the surface and keeps right on going.  This is a great game to play with friends, because you can compare number of skips and distance in a whimsical competition.  For an interesting variation, try to skip a stone for height instead of distance....see how high you can get it to bounce off the water.  

For those who like bubble wrap, but crumple it all up at once instead of popping the bubbles individually, might I suggest the "Handful of pebbles" method.  As you might think, you grab a handful of small stones or sand and toss it into the air.  The dozens and potentially hundreds of little impacts over the surface of the water make for seconds of fun.  

If you have a bridge or dock nearby, you can play a variation whereby you find the largest rock you can maneuver adequately and heave it into the water.  If your water is deep enough, the sound and splash made by a huge boulder are quite impressive.  

Finally, there's what is perhaps my favorite game, the stone-throwing equivalent of the Olympic high-dive.   You take a stone similar to one you'd use for stone skipping, and instead of throwing it low and far, throw it as far up into the air as you can or feel like.  The air resistance during the rock's flight will straighten it out into a near-perfect vertical line during its descent.  When it hits the water, it will be absorbed with a strangely satisfying "THIP" sound and virtually no splash at all.  

There you go, folks...now off you go to your nearest body of water.  Have fun, everybody!