BOO!
Uhmm....eek?
Hahahahaaa. Nailed it! Happy Halloween, everybody!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
They're Still On Notice
The one time UPS does something right, and I'm not around to see it.
Okay seriously, Jeremy...you're going to get us sued.
I would actually love to see those court papers..."UPS vs Jeremy and his Imaginary Alter Persona"
Get on with it.
So, I've told you before about my feelings for UPS and their dubious success record for me. Well, they finally got one right...and I'm the one who managed to screw it up.
Way to go, pinhead.
So yesterday was the long-long-long-long-long awaited release of the new Trans-Siberian Orchestra album "Night Castle". Not wanting to be without the disc any longer than the 4 years that it was already delayed, I ordered mine online in advance, and it was to be shipped in time for me to have it Tuesday. I thought at one point I read in an email that it would be delivered monday. Extra exciting!
Lousy hook. Continue.
Monday afternoon, I come home from work, and there is no package waiting for me. I figured it's no big deal since CD's always come out on Tuesday, so mine should be delivered on Tuesday and I erred in reading the email. I left the house a little before 5:30 to play volleyball and by the time I got home, it was dark. Little did I know that UPS showed up just after 6PM and left the package on my doorstep. I simply missed it on my way back in.
That night, I was asked by a friend how the CD was, since I had mentioned that I thought it would come on monday. I had to humbly say that I was mistaken in the delivery date and that the CD was not in my possession, not knowing that the box lay no more than 15 feet away.
On a lark, I checked the UPS tracking website Tuesday morning to find that the CD was delivered monday evening. I'm an idiot.
Yes you are.
So, to my friends at UPS: Thanks for delivering my CD on time and leaving it safely on my doorstep. I take back one of the bad things I've said about you over the years, but remind you that you are still on delivery probation. Now that you've proven you can deliver correctly, I will expect continued proper service in the future.
Okay seriously, Jeremy...you're going to get us sued.
I would actually love to see those court papers..."UPS vs Jeremy and his Imaginary Alter Persona"
Get on with it.
So, I've told you before about my feelings for UPS and their dubious success record for me. Well, they finally got one right...and I'm the one who managed to screw it up.
Way to go, pinhead.
So yesterday was the long-long-long-long-long awaited release of the new Trans-Siberian Orchestra album "Night Castle". Not wanting to be without the disc any longer than the 4 years that it was already delayed, I ordered mine online in advance, and it was to be shipped in time for me to have it Tuesday. I thought at one point I read in an email that it would be delivered monday. Extra exciting!
Lousy hook. Continue.
Monday afternoon, I come home from work, and there is no package waiting for me. I figured it's no big deal since CD's always come out on Tuesday, so mine should be delivered on Tuesday and I erred in reading the email. I left the house a little before 5:30 to play volleyball and by the time I got home, it was dark. Little did I know that UPS showed up just after 6PM and left the package on my doorstep. I simply missed it on my way back in.
That night, I was asked by a friend how the CD was, since I had mentioned that I thought it would come on monday. I had to humbly say that I was mistaken in the delivery date and that the CD was not in my possession, not knowing that the box lay no more than 15 feet away.
On a lark, I checked the UPS tracking website Tuesday morning to find that the CD was delivered monday evening. I'm an idiot.
Yes you are.
So, to my friends at UPS: Thanks for delivering my CD on time and leaving it safely on my doorstep. I take back one of the bad things I've said about you over the years, but remind you that you are still on delivery probation. Now that you've proven you can deliver correctly, I will expect continued proper service in the future.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Blah
Yeah, I’m boring today.
I agree...it doesn't seem like a very exciting day. Tuesdays just aren't interesting.
Well, in lieu of a good Blag post today, here's a video from an OHL game in Erie this past weekend. It includes a goalie fight! Enjoy, everyone!
I agree...it doesn't seem like a very exciting day. Tuesdays just aren't interesting.
Well, in lieu of a good Blag post today, here's a video from an OHL game in Erie this past weekend. It includes a goalie fight! Enjoy, everyone!
Monday, October 26, 2009
They're also a little sticky
I wonder if the Mets will have another gooey season next year.
I guess that depends on how...wait, what?
Not long ago, I was driving to work following a person whose license plate said, and I'm quoting here: "GOOOMETS". As is my usual custom, I figured out what it actually meant, then figured out fun ways to contort it into something else.
Obviously the person is a fan of the New York Mets, and why wouldn't you be?
They stink.
But if you live in New York, you certainly have the right to be a Mets fan. For the record, there is no excuse for being a Yankees fan regardless of proximity to New York. But the point is that they spell poorly, and added a couple extra O's on to "Go". It's always been a relatively simple work to spell...one of the first I ever learned, in fact. So I decided to mock them for requesting the Mets to be a gooey team. It also reminded me of the children's book "Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooey" which is more fun than thinking about baseball during hockey season.
Queue some Yankee fan spewing crap in 3....2....1....
I guess that depends on how...wait, what?
Not long ago, I was driving to work following a person whose license plate said, and I'm quoting here: "GOOOMETS". As is my usual custom, I figured out what it actually meant, then figured out fun ways to contort it into something else.
Obviously the person is a fan of the New York Mets, and why wouldn't you be?
They stink.
But if you live in New York, you certainly have the right to be a Mets fan. For the record, there is no excuse for being a Yankees fan regardless of proximity to New York. But the point is that they spell poorly, and added a couple extra O's on to "Go". It's always been a relatively simple work to spell...one of the first I ever learned, in fact. So I decided to mock them for requesting the Mets to be a gooey team. It also reminded me of the children's book "Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooey" which is more fun than thinking about baseball during hockey season.
Queue some Yankee fan spewing crap in 3....2....1....
Friday, October 23, 2009
It's like I've heard it 52 times...
Rock Lobster is NOT HOCKEY MUSIC!
I have to agree with you, Jeremy...it's really not.
But it's just....wait...what? You agree with me? Are you sick or something?
I need a ride to the airport this weekend, so I'm being nice.
Well that makes sense. So, the organist decided to play Rock Lobster at a recent Kings game...and it just bugged me a little. I thought I'd share it with you today. Enjoy your weekend, everybody!
I have to agree with you, Jeremy...it's really not.
But it's just....wait...what? You agree with me? Are you sick or something?
I need a ride to the airport this weekend, so I'm being nice.
Well that makes sense. So, the organist decided to play Rock Lobster at a recent Kings game...and it just bugged me a little. I thought I'd share it with you today. Enjoy your weekend, everybody!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
The ducks love it
I have a bumper sticker on my fishing boat that says "I'd Rather Be Working"
Work gets kind of a bad rap, doesn't it?
There just aren't many bumper stickers that promote having a good, stable job out there. Maybe there should be.
Going into the Bumper Sticker business are we?
Probably not.
So you have a big announcement today, don't you?
Indeed I do. Today marks the 500th post here on Jeremy Is In The Office.
Holy crap...500 posts? It seems like only yesterday it started.
It's true...according to the counter on the blag's log-in screen. The Word doc where I have all of the messages saved is now 47 pages long and suitable for publishing. Maybe I'll add in some pictures of hockey and toasters before I release it to bookstores nationwide. Watch for my book signing tour coming soon!
Work gets kind of a bad rap, doesn't it?
There just aren't many bumper stickers that promote having a good, stable job out there. Maybe there should be.
Going into the Bumper Sticker business are we?
Probably not.
So you have a big announcement today, don't you?
Indeed I do. Today marks the 500th post here on Jeremy Is In The Office.
Holy crap...500 posts? It seems like only yesterday it started.
It's true...according to the counter on the blag's log-in screen. The Word doc where I have all of the messages saved is now 47 pages long and suitable for publishing. Maybe I'll add in some pictures of hockey and toasters before I release it to bookstores nationwide. Watch for my book signing tour coming soon!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Problematic
Why is it that only lousy songs get stuck in your head?
Because you only listen to lousy songs? Come on...I've seen the list on the Blag here.
Everyone has had a song stuck in their head...and the reaction is always the same. "Awe crap! I have that awful ____ song stuck in my head! MAKE IT STOP FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND PLENTY!!!"
Overreaction, party of one. Your table is now ready.
You get the idea. Whenever you get a song stuck in your head, it tends to suck. So instead of an actual good song that can be entertaining me all morning, I get stuck with that new crappy song by a group that could also be named "Asthmatic." That song stinks, by the way.
Because you only listen to lousy songs? Come on...I've seen the list on the Blag here.
Everyone has had a song stuck in their head...and the reaction is always the same. "Awe crap! I have that awful ____ song stuck in my head! MAKE IT STOP FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND PLENTY!!!"
Overreaction, party of one. Your table is now ready.
You get the idea. Whenever you get a song stuck in your head, it tends to suck. So instead of an actual good song that can be entertaining me all morning, I get stuck with that new crappy song by a group that could also be named "Asthmatic." That song stinks, by the way.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
The consequences are dire
Helpful Volleyball Tip #83: A "Back 3" set is designed to go to the Weak-Side hitter, not the Middle Blocker.
Usually, you only use 83 when making up statistics.
Well, 57 didn't seem appropriate here, so I just went with it.
So tell me about this Back 3
Well, when playing organized volleyball, the attackers are positioned across the front row. The player farthest to the left (when facing the net) it called the "Outside Hitter", the player on the right is the "Weak Side" or "Opposite", and the player in the middle is called the "Middle Blocker." The setter generally positions himself between the Middle Blocker and the Opposite, facing the Middle Blocker, and has a variety of options at his disposal. He can set the Middle directly in front of him, set higher and farther to the Outside Hitter, or he can set slightly behind him to the Opposite.
Sets come in various heights, and there really is no universal naming convention, so we tend to keep things simple. A "One" is a very low, quick set to the Middle, a "Two" is a moderately low set that can either be played by the Middle, or the Outside, depending on the play that is called. A "Three" is a medium-high set to one of the Outer Positions (Outside or Opposite, depending on direction), and a "Four" is a high set to the Outside.
Seems like a remarkably simple system with only four numbers. How can somebody screw this up? Must be a real chump.
Well, what happens on occasion is an overzealous Middle Blocker will decide that everything is being set to them regardless of height or location. In this circumstance, a Back-3 (A Three to the Opposite) is mistaken for a Two and the Middle will go out of his way to try to play it. Only problem is that the Opposite is right there already playing the ball and the resulting collision can be quite painful, I would imagine. I guess it could result in a bruised eye for one player and a sore elbow for the other. Either way, we end up losing the point. So...kids...play your positions.
Were you the bruised eye or sore elbow?
Actually neither...I was the setter...I only got a front-row seat for all the fun.
Usually, you only use 83 when making up statistics.
Well, 57 didn't seem appropriate here, so I just went with it.
So tell me about this Back 3
Well, when playing organized volleyball, the attackers are positioned across the front row. The player farthest to the left (when facing the net) it called the "Outside Hitter", the player on the right is the "Weak Side" or "Opposite", and the player in the middle is called the "Middle Blocker." The setter generally positions himself between the Middle Blocker and the Opposite, facing the Middle Blocker, and has a variety of options at his disposal. He can set the Middle directly in front of him, set higher and farther to the Outside Hitter, or he can set slightly behind him to the Opposite.
Sets come in various heights, and there really is no universal naming convention, so we tend to keep things simple. A "One" is a very low, quick set to the Middle, a "Two" is a moderately low set that can either be played by the Middle, or the Outside, depending on the play that is called. A "Three" is a medium-high set to one of the Outer Positions (Outside or Opposite, depending on direction), and a "Four" is a high set to the Outside.
Seems like a remarkably simple system with only four numbers. How can somebody screw this up? Must be a real chump.
Well, what happens on occasion is an overzealous Middle Blocker will decide that everything is being set to them regardless of height or location. In this circumstance, a Back-3 (A Three to the Opposite) is mistaken for a Two and the Middle will go out of his way to try to play it. Only problem is that the Opposite is right there already playing the ball and the resulting collision can be quite painful, I would imagine. I guess it could result in a bruised eye for one player and a sore elbow for the other. Either way, we end up losing the point. So...kids...play your positions.
Were you the bruised eye or sore elbow?
Actually neither...I was the setter...I only got a front-row seat for all the fun.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Simple Mathematics
Attention City of New York: One escalator at a time, please.
I know, I know...it's the first in a series of messages about parapsychological...oh wait. It's actually a new message today. About friggin' time.
I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about.
Thought as much. So what's the deal with the escalators.
Well, the economy is a little rough right now, so the city of New York seems to have cut down on the number of teams they have working on escalators in Penn Station. It's a very busy train station I was in recently, and it contains a fairly large number of escalators, as you might imagine.
Most of these escalators are broken.
Most have signs saying temporarily out of service (Mitch Hedberg would prefer they say "Escalator Temporarily Stairs" but that's beside the point) or have some vague mention of an upgrade or renovation that's in progress. Only problem here is that I saw precisely one team of people actually working on a broken escalator. I know you don't want to pay these guys to sit around not fixing an escalator, but in this particular case, the backlog was tremendous. These poor guys will be fixing escalators until rapture, but probably not make any progress. What is the MTBF for escalators anyway? I imagine it being on the order of weeks, not hours.
I know, I know...it's the first in a series of messages about parapsychological...oh wait. It's actually a new message today. About friggin' time.
I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about.
Thought as much. So what's the deal with the escalators.
Well, the economy is a little rough right now, so the city of New York seems to have cut down on the number of teams they have working on escalators in Penn Station. It's a very busy train station I was in recently, and it contains a fairly large number of escalators, as you might imagine.
Most of these escalators are broken.
Most have signs saying temporarily out of service (Mitch Hedberg would prefer they say "Escalator Temporarily Stairs" but that's beside the point) or have some vague mention of an upgrade or renovation that's in progress. Only problem here is that I saw precisely one team of people actually working on a broken escalator. I know you don't want to pay these guys to sit around not fixing an escalator, but in this particular case, the backlog was tremendous. These poor guys will be fixing escalators until rapture, but probably not make any progress. What is the MTBF for escalators anyway? I imagine it being on the order of weeks, not hours.
Friday, October 16, 2009
What did this mean?
Déjà vu: The experience of feeling sure that one has experienced a new situation previously.
Yeah, yeah...who didn't see this one coming?
It's interesting that you bring up precognition, since I was actually thinking of bringing it up in a later Sametime Status. You see, today's Sametime Status is the first in a series of messages designed to edutain people about various parapsychological conditions.
Really Jeremy? That was interesting on monday...maybe cute on Tuesday, but now it's just kinda getting ridiculous.
I'm not sure what you're talking about..Tuesday's Sametime Status was the latest in the saga of the Famed Toaster of Hades. I didn't start the Parapsychology series until today.
So when is this nonsense going to end?
Wow...a rhetorical question, too! You're really helping the Blag today. Thanks, LIR.
Yeah, yeah...who didn't see this one coming?
It's interesting that you bring up precognition, since I was actually thinking of bringing it up in a later Sametime Status. You see, today's Sametime Status is the first in a series of messages designed to edutain people about various parapsychological conditions.
Really Jeremy? That was interesting on monday...maybe cute on Tuesday, but now it's just kinda getting ridiculous.
I'm not sure what you're talking about..Tuesday's Sametime Status was the latest in the saga of the Famed Toaster of Hades. I didn't start the Parapsychology series until today.
So when is this nonsense going to end?
Wow...a rhetorical question, too! You're really helping the Blag today. Thanks, LIR.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
What did this mean?
Déjà vu: The experience of feeling sure that one has experienced a new situation previously.
Really?
It's true! Today's Sametime Status is the first in a series of messages designed to edutain people about various parapsychological conditions. I have a very mild passing interest in various psychological and parapsychological phenomena, including my own irrational fear of applesauce, so I thought I'd spend some time on the Blag here shining a little light on them. It'll be a thing!
We're already getting hate mail over this.
How is that even possible? This is the first one!
Really?
It's true! Today's Sametime Status is the first in a series of messages designed to edutain people about various parapsychological conditions. I have a very mild passing interest in various psychological and parapsychological phenomena, including my own irrational fear of applesauce, so I thought I'd spend some time on the Blag here shining a little light on them. It'll be a thing!
We're already getting hate mail over this.
How is that even possible? This is the first one!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
What did this mean?
Déjà vu: The experience of feeling sure that one has experienced a new situation previously.
Yeah...great. Can we move on now?
I'm not sure what you're talking about. Today's Sametime Status is the first in a series of messages designed to edutain people about various parapsychological conditions. I'd hoped to make it a recurring thing on the blag here.
It's not as if it's difficult to scroll down and see yesterday's message, you know. The Internetz do have that technology.
Yesterday's message was about Bird Flu or something...I really can't be bothered to look it up.
Yeah...great. Can we move on now?
I'm not sure what you're talking about. Today's Sametime Status is the first in a series of messages designed to edutain people about various parapsychological conditions. I'd hoped to make it a recurring thing on the blag here.
It's not as if it's difficult to scroll down and see yesterday's message, you know. The Internetz do have that technology.
Yesterday's message was about Bird Flu or something...I really can't be bothered to look it up.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
What did this mean?
Déjà vu: The experience of feeling sure that one has experienced a new situation previously.
Uhm....wait a second...
Yes...today's Sametime Status is the first in a series of messages designed to edutain people about various parapsychological conditions. It's gonna be a thing!
Are you messing with me?
Not at all...I consider myself an expert on the subject having taken a freshamn-level psychology course at the technical school where I went to college. I also used to run an online ESP ability test. It was fun!
Not exactly what I meant...
So enjoy today's Sametime Status, everybody!
Uhm....wait a second...
Yes...today's Sametime Status is the first in a series of messages designed to edutain people about various parapsychological conditions. It's gonna be a thing!
Are you messing with me?
Not at all...I consider myself an expert on the subject having taken a freshamn-level psychology course at the technical school where I went to college. I also used to run an online ESP ability test. It was fun!
Not exactly what I meant...
So enjoy today's Sametime Status, everybody!
Monday, October 12, 2009
What did this mean?
Déjà vu: The experience of feeling sure that one has experienced a new situation previously.
Would this have anything to do with you losing the finals of a volleyball tournament for the fourth time this season?
No, but thanks for bringing that up.
It's what I do.
Today's Sametime Status is something more along the lines of a series of messages designed to edutain people about various parapsychological conditions...or something.
Maybe some of the loyal readers can peer into the future and realize when this is coming up so they can avoid this crap.
Well...many of my loyal readers do try to see messages in the future. Usually they say something mildly amusing or do something mildly idiotic and say "Oh...I know what tomorrow's Sametime Status is going to be." 87% of the time, they're wrong...about the same success rate as any other ESP ability test and every other time I have to quote a statistic on this Blag, which is a remarkable coincidence.
Would this have anything to do with you losing the finals of a volleyball tournament for the fourth time this season?
No, but thanks for bringing that up.
It's what I do.
Today's Sametime Status is something more along the lines of a series of messages designed to edutain people about various parapsychological conditions...or something.
Maybe some of the loyal readers can peer into the future and realize when this is coming up so they can avoid this crap.
Well...many of my loyal readers do try to see messages in the future. Usually they say something mildly amusing or do something mildly idiotic and say "Oh...I know what tomorrow's Sametime Status is going to be." 87% of the time, they're wrong...about the same success rate as any other ESP ability test and every other time I have to quote a statistic on this Blag, which is a remarkable coincidence.
Friday, October 9, 2009
A year is as a day
How long will we need Rhetorical Friday?
Okay, seriously? We stopped needing Rhetorical Friday right about the second time it happened.
Rhetorical Friday is not a path to a door, but a road leading forever towards the horizon.
Wow...lifting quotes from The Frantics now. Good thing we have Rhetorical Friday.
Maybe you'd like to start Sarcasm Thursday.
That would be fun.
Sarcasm?
Maybe.
Okay, seriously? We stopped needing Rhetorical Friday right about the second time it happened.
Rhetorical Friday is not a path to a door, but a road leading forever towards the horizon.
Wow...lifting quotes from The Frantics now. Good thing we have Rhetorical Friday.
Maybe you'd like to start Sarcasm Thursday.
That would be fun.
Sarcasm?
Maybe.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
More of a squeaky slam, really
The Things That Go Bump In The Night should do so more quietly so they don't wake me up.
Good morning, Jeremy. How are you feeling?
Little tired, actually. It was windy last night.
And you're going to rectify that by going to bed early tonight?
Not a chance. Tonight is the big Office wedding, and the Kings are playing at home. My main issue comes from the exhaust valve on my boiler at home. It tends to open and close on occasion if it gets very windy...and is kinda squeaky in the process. It's not so annoying except for the one time it did its thing at 1:30AM this morning...causing me to wake up. It was a little annoying.
Good morning, Jeremy. How are you feeling?
Little tired, actually. It was windy last night.
And you're going to rectify that by going to bed early tonight?
Not a chance. Tonight is the big Office wedding, and the Kings are playing at home. My main issue comes from the exhaust valve on my boiler at home. It tends to open and close on occasion if it gets very windy...and is kinda squeaky in the process. It's not so annoying except for the one time it did its thing at 1:30AM this morning...causing me to wake up. It was a little annoying.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Oral hygiene depends on it!
When did toothpaste become so complicated?
Oh for the love of all things good and plenty, please tell me that Rhetorical Friday isn't spilling over into Wednesday now.
Not at all. Today's Sametime Status is most definitely NOT a rhetorical question. I really want to know when toothpaste got so complicated.
Never found it all that problematic...you squeeze from the bottom, put it on the brush and go to town. What part of that escapes you?
I recently got a new tube of toothpaste...and as is often the case nowadays, it's sealed for my protection. It had some goofy inverted plastic cap inside the standard plastic cap...and I could not figure out how to get it out. I poked at it and it just popped a hole in the center...then I tried to pull it out, but it tore, and I finally managed to just shove it the rest of the way into the tube to allow the toothpaste to flow unobstructed for now. I'm sure it will clog up again very shortly, though.
So I ask again...when did we start putting this bizarre non-removable cap in my toothpaste?
Oh for the love of all things good and plenty, please tell me that Rhetorical Friday isn't spilling over into Wednesday now.
Not at all. Today's Sametime Status is most definitely NOT a rhetorical question. I really want to know when toothpaste got so complicated.
Never found it all that problematic...you squeeze from the bottom, put it on the brush and go to town. What part of that escapes you?
I recently got a new tube of toothpaste...and as is often the case nowadays, it's sealed for my protection. It had some goofy inverted plastic cap inside the standard plastic cap...and I could not figure out how to get it out. I poked at it and it just popped a hole in the center...then I tried to pull it out, but it tore, and I finally managed to just shove it the rest of the way into the tube to allow the toothpaste to flow unobstructed for now. I'm sure it will clog up again very shortly, though.
So I ask again...when did we start putting this bizarre non-removable cap in my toothpaste?
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
I also enjoy Youtube videos of nutshots
Proud Member Of "People Who When They Hear A Story About An Avoidable And Crazy Death, Laugh As Is Expected Of Them And Then Make A Mental Note To Not Do That Thing Anymore"
Seems like a pretty okay club to be in...though maybe not all that exclusive.
Like the old saying goes, I don't want to be in any club that would have me as a member.
So how were you made aware of this club anyway?
It was mentioned in Yesterday's Dinosaur Comics.
Very insightful comic, Jeremy. I'm glad, though, that Utahraptor set T-Rex straight...like always.
Seems like a pretty okay club to be in...though maybe not all that exclusive.
Like the old saying goes, I don't want to be in any club that would have me as a member.
So how were you made aware of this club anyway?
It was mentioned in Yesterday's Dinosaur Comics.
Very insightful comic, Jeremy. I'm glad, though, that Utahraptor set T-Rex straight...like always.
Monday, October 5, 2009
There's no Spam filter on Blags
"However it may head be, meal Valentine, you need must battle not be ala trodden "By the smell way," said phone the major, "you pocket know I have onl
Jeremy apparently suffered a massive head injury this weekend, resulting in today's Sametime Status. We all hope for the best and wish him a speedy recovery.
Actually, I'm fine...no head injuries at all.
Oh...sorry. I thought with whatever nonsense you posted here today that you brain was no longer wired for cognitive thinking.
It's actually close to that. Today's Sametime Status comes to you courtesy of some Spambot sending me email designed to get me to go to some website and order a product to make something bigger or smaller...or maybe send my bank account info to the deposed Prince of Zamunda...or claim my reward from some foreign lottery. It's all gold.
Either way, one technique used by Spambots to avoid filters is to splatter some actual words into the email to make filters think it's a legitimate email. The result is the amusing sentence written above.
Jeremy apparently suffered a massive head injury this weekend, resulting in today's Sametime Status. We all hope for the best and wish him a speedy recovery.
Actually, I'm fine...no head injuries at all.
Oh...sorry. I thought with whatever nonsense you posted here today that you brain was no longer wired for cognitive thinking.
It's actually close to that. Today's Sametime Status comes to you courtesy of some Spambot sending me email designed to get me to go to some website and order a product to make something bigger or smaller...or maybe send my bank account info to the deposed Prince of Zamunda...or claim my reward from some foreign lottery. It's all gold.
Either way, one technique used by Spambots to avoid filters is to splatter some actual words into the email to make filters think it's a legitimate email. The result is the amusing sentence written above.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Not even kidding here...
That’s the second biggest Toaster Fire I've ever seen!
Nothing brightens a morning quite like watching the toaster go up in flames.
Indeed. You all remember the Famed Toaster of Hades, right? Well, the recent period of breakfast-torching inactivity turned out not to be the fact that somebody actually fixed the Toaster. As it turns out, the Toaster was simply resting up, only to strike with a vengeance this morning.
I'm actually glad it did...I saw what your Sametime Status was going to be before that happened.
It's true. I actually had another edition of Rhetorical Friday planned for all of you, and even had it set as my Sametime Status while I went down to the adorably tiny cafeteria thing in my building. As I approached the toaster, I noticed the charred remains of a roll on the counter next to it and knew that evil was lurking. A man stood in front of the Toaster, a growing look of dread crossing his face as his bagel stuck to the conveyor. As has happened so many times in the past, a cloud of smoke began to erupt from the front of the Toaster as its latest victim bursts into flame.
And all Guybrush Threepwood jokes aside folks...this was quite literally the second biggest toaster fire I've ever seen. I don't know if anything will top the Blueberry Muffin Incident, but this was as close as I've seen. I'm talking about a substantial amount of flame shooting out at least 3 inches in all directions from the bagel and enough smoke to cloud half of the cafeteria. It was glorious. One of the cafeteria staff actually came over and shut off the Toaster to get it to stop burning and went to find wet towels to clean up the wreckage. It was that good. An excellent start to my weekend. See you on monday, everyone!
Nothing brightens a morning quite like watching the toaster go up in flames.
Indeed. You all remember the Famed Toaster of Hades, right? Well, the recent period of breakfast-torching inactivity turned out not to be the fact that somebody actually fixed the Toaster. As it turns out, the Toaster was simply resting up, only to strike with a vengeance this morning.
I'm actually glad it did...I saw what your Sametime Status was going to be before that happened.
It's true. I actually had another edition of Rhetorical Friday planned for all of you, and even had it set as my Sametime Status while I went down to the adorably tiny cafeteria thing in my building. As I approached the toaster, I noticed the charred remains of a roll on the counter next to it and knew that evil was lurking. A man stood in front of the Toaster, a growing look of dread crossing his face as his bagel stuck to the conveyor. As has happened so many times in the past, a cloud of smoke began to erupt from the front of the Toaster as its latest victim bursts into flame.
And all Guybrush Threepwood jokes aside folks...this was quite literally the second biggest toaster fire I've ever seen. I don't know if anything will top the Blueberry Muffin Incident, but this was as close as I've seen. I'm talking about a substantial amount of flame shooting out at least 3 inches in all directions from the bagel and enough smoke to cloud half of the cafeteria. It was glorious. One of the cafeteria staff actually came over and shut off the Toaster to get it to stop burning and went to find wet towels to clean up the wreckage. It was that good. An excellent start to my weekend. See you on monday, everyone!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Yeah...they're getting a beatdown
some play for the money and some for the fame, but he simply plays for the love of the game, putting the puck in the net makes heroes for the fan, but putting guys in the hospital makes him the main man
This sounds like a wholesome Sametime Status to be sharing with your younger loyal readers.
Astute readers will recognize this as a poem about hockey.
More astute readers will recognize this as being appropriate for opening night of the 2009-2010 NHL season.
The most astute readers...and actually the ones who scare me a little, will recognize this as an excerpt from the poem "The Hockey Goon" by Michael Kenneth Panton.
Evil Jeremy will likely ask some silly question feigning ignorance about hockey. Don't let him fool you...he's actually a closet fan.
This sounds like a wholesome Sametime Status to be sharing with your younger loyal readers.
Astute readers will recognize this as a poem about hockey.
More astute readers will recognize this as being appropriate for opening night of the 2009-2010 NHL season.
The most astute readers...and actually the ones who scare me a little, will recognize this as an excerpt from the poem "The Hockey Goon" by Michael Kenneth Panton.
Evil Jeremy will likely ask some silly question feigning ignorance about hockey. Don't let him fool you...he's actually a closet fan.
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