He's more Sticker than Banana now

Is it just me, or do bananas have more stickers than they used to?


I thought we went over this. It's you. It's always just you.


I've noticed a recent trend of the over-stickering of bananas in grocery stores. This trend is based on buying bananas at pretty much one grocery store over a period of time, and recently thinking, "Hey...there are more stickers than there used to be." It's scientific.

Anyway, I've come up with the only reasonable explanation for this, and decided to both share it with you and Call Bunk on it all at the same time. Lucky you.

So, the reason that the banana companies are putting more stickers on bananas is so that kids will eat more bananas. Kids love playing with the stickers on bananas. It's a thing to do when you're a kid and you haven't discovered the Internets and started your own Sametime Status Message Blag yet. Anyway...banana companies realize this and in order to get parents who insist on buying healthy snack foods for their kids to buy more bananas, put more stickers on the bananas. The more bananas these parents buy, the more stickers the kids get, and the more money the banana company gets. The data is out there somewhere, and finding it has been left as an exercise for the reader.

Here's the problem. Kids don't necessarily have to eat the banana to get the sticker. Once the bunch of bananas is in the house, all of the stickers (At least one per banana, usually more) are readily available. The kid who takes only the sticker off the banana he's eating is much akin to the kid who eats the entire box of cereal and has the prize dump out into the bowl...which is much akin to the Easter Bunny. The instant that box is opened, kids will rifle through the cereal box until he unearths the prize, and if half the cereal pours out onto the floor, so be it.

So, in conclusion, it makes more fiscal sense to lower the number of stickers on bananas to increase the profit margin on the number of bananas sold, and spend the extra money on a lobbyist for congress to declare a National Banana Lovers Day instead. OH WAIT...