That's all you need

Manliness through loopholes!


As much as Jeremy NEVER has his manliness questioned, he feels obligated to defend it often and repeatedly.


I do not own a hair dryer. This must be distinctly understood, or nothing wonderful can come of the story I am going to relate.*


* - This line stolen directly and shamelessly from Charles Dickens.
Also, nothing "wonderful" is going to come from this story regardless.


I've never really owned a hair dryer, and I basically never have need for one. I consider it a minor point of pride, akin to pointing out that I've never performed Karaoke in this hemisphere. Among my possessions is a refrigerator with an ice maker. It comes in very handy, and I've even learned to better tolerate having ice in my beverages. (I never used to like it, but now I don't actively hate it.) Well, not long ago the water line feeding the ice maker froze, so I no longer have the ability to make ice. I've located service manuals and whatnot for the ice maker, and could probably take it apart and defrost it manually myself if I really wanted to, but I came across a number of internetz forums that tell me precisely how to resolve the problem easily...by using a hair dryer.

So, my inevitable conundrum. Do I go out and buy a hair dryer I'll never use for its intended purpose just to fix my fridge, thus ending my streak of not owning a hair dryer? Do I take apart the fridge, asserting my manliness, but risking breaking stuff? I pondered.

On a separate quest, I found myself in a store noted for selling items for the Bedroom, Bathroom, and Other-Farther-Reaching-Places. I decided to look at the hair dryers and see how cheaply I could get one. Turns out, the lowest price I could get out with was $19. I found this to be unacceptably high for a one-time freezer job. My next stop on this trip was a new hardware store in the area that for strictly Blag purposes, let's call "Port Payload Tools." On my way into the store, I grabbed a flyer. Lo and Behold, they were having a grand opening sale. One of the items on sale, a 1500-Watt Heat Gun for $13.

I'm the proud owner of a brand new "heat gun" which is a manly name for a hair dryer, and I paid $6 less for it. I WIN!