Friday, February 17, 2017

It's Like An Ace In The Hole

Is there a band that can “Rock and Roll” and “Party” at the same time?  

That assumes the possibility that Rocking and Rolling is not mutually exclusive to partying.  Which seems like at least a reasonably valid assumption.  

So, not long ago, I heard a song playing on the radio.  I forget what it was called.  But, the important part here is that the band seemed to expressing a desire to "Rock and Roll" all night in addition to "Partying" every day.  It was unclear if they were ultimately successful in either of their endeavors, but let's talk about goal setting for a bit here.  

I'm okay with a rock band wanting to Rock and Roll.  That is more or less what they're for.  But why do they limit themselves to merely wanting to Rock and Roll at night, when apparently the parties happen during the day.  If their rocking and rolling does not help contribute to the party, then they're either at the wrong party, or their rocking and rolling can't be very good.  Ideally, I would think that they could combine their efforts to everyone's benefit.  Rock and Roll at a party, thereby increasing the level of the party for all involved.  

It's also easier on the band's sleep schedule.  

However, I do understand that pulling this off would require finding a rock-and-roll-conducive party that lasts all night.  Otherwise, you end up rocking and rolling until the party ends, and you have nothing to do the rest of the night while you want to be rocking and rolling.  Conversely, if you rock and roll at an all-night party, then you may not feel up for partying during the day when you ostensibly want to be partying.  It's a conundrum.  

It seems to me that the easiest solution is to find a rock and roll band who is okay with doing their rocking and rolling during traditional partying hours and not limiting themselves to doing so all night.  Sometimes the most obvious solutions really are the best.  You know how the old adage goes...Keep It Simple, Stupid. 

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

September Ended Some Time Ago

I got to sleep in today because I can’t tell time!  

Well, I suppose that's one way to go about it.  Probably explains why you were late to work.  

I was in the office at precisely the usual time.  Maybe even a little early, since I beat that one school bus.

So, here's a little insight into how things go in Jeremy-Land. 

During the winter, the house tends to be pretty cold at night.  This is ostensibly to help the environment by lessening my use of fossil fuels, but it's also because it's cheaper.  I also own several blankets which do a terrific job of keeping me warm at night, and it would be a shame to waste their effectiveness.  I also enjoy wrapping myself up in a those blankets to make a little Jeremy Burrito at night, which would be too hot if the ambient temperature weren't on the low side.  Bottom line, cold house, warm blankets. 

That is, until about 20 minutes before my alarm goes off.

See, my programmable thermostat warms up the house during the time between my standard wake-up call and the time when I have to leave for work.  It's also smart enough to know that it takes around 20 minutes to heat the house, so it starts the ramp-up process a little early so that the correct temperature is achieved at the correct time.  It's pretty smart that way.

However, a side effect of that is that the temperature in the house is gradually increasing during that time to the point where the little Jeremy Burrito notices and becomes too warm, occasionally waking me up in that 20-minute window in between when the temperature starts increasing and when the alarm goes off.  It's a fact of life that I have to deal with in the winter months when the heat is on.  Not a big deal, usually.  If I find myself in this situation, I look at the clock, notice the time and make some snap decisions.

I believe I've noted on this Blag that despite my considerable genius, my brain may not be running at its full potential first thing in the morning. 

Regardless, if it's early in the temperature ramp process, and I still have around 20 minutes to go before the alarm, I just roll over and go back to sleep, effectively hitting the snooze button (which I otherwise never do on principle) until it's actually time to get up.  Failing that, if there's closer to 5 minutes left before alarm, there's not much snooze time left, and it will already be warm, so I'll just grab my phone and start reading through Email/Facebook/Twitter/Internets or whathaveyou to get a jump start on my day.  Then, once the alarm starts, I get out of bed and do the whole "getting up" thing. 

That's normal. 

Not long ago, I woke up in the morning, looked at the clock and noticed the time.  I figured that I had 5 minutes left until the alarm, so I grabbed the phone and started scrolling through notifications and such.  I went through this process for a little while before I realized that I was getting through more internets than I usually do in my 5 allotted minutes, and I was still cold, so I took another quick glance up at the clock (despite the fact that I was holding my phone which has any number of clocks on it).  It told me that I still had a full 28 minutes left before alarm time. 

So, apparently, my first viewing of the clock actually told me that I had 35 minutes of sleep time left, so I totally jumped the gun on the whole phone bit.  I still had a solid half hour to sleep in. 

Monday, February 13, 2017

Anyone Want It?

Always need to be careful when Friday the 13th falls on a monday

Jeremy has no idea what a calendar looks like.  This should come as a shock to nobody.

So, nobody likes mondays.  They're that first work day after a "relaxing" weekend filled with shoveling that flaky white crap off your driveway.  It's a time for catching up on the ridiculous pile of emails you somehow managed to get over the weekend where everybody but you was apparently working.  

People also fear Friday the 13th.  It's become such a thing that it gets its own word, "Triskaidekaphobia."  

So, when you combine the two concepts, you get monday the 13th.  That's today, if you hadn't noticed.  

As such, a thing happened at work today which is mightily symbolic of monday the 13th.  I work with a number of suppliers who provide goods and services to the company I work for.  One of these suppliers had a quality issue a little while back that they developed a fix for, but wanted to elaborate on the root cause of the issue.  So, they sent me a box full of their products that have the root cause on them so that I can...well...quite frankly, I'm not sure what it is I'm supposed to do with this box of stuff, but they sent it to me.  

Normally, when a supplier sends me a box of material, it stays in the warehouse and I get a notification that I got a box of material and the warehouse folks ask me what is to be done with them.  I coordinate with them, and things happen.  Delegation!  In today's case, this didn't happen, and the box of products showed up in my office...8 cubic feet of cardboard (a full approximately 17% of my available office area) with stuff inside that I can't possibly use in my office.  I have even less of an idea now what I'm supposed to do with this stuff.

Regardless, I open the shipping box and pull out the gubbins inside.  Inside the box is a container with the materials in it...well...more or less.  A full 20% of the material was broken during shipping and now exists as a pile of fragments at the bottom of the container.  So not only can I not use this stuff in my office, but I can't use most of it anywhere since it's either broken or contaminated with broken pieces.  I have further even less of an idea now what I'm supposed to do with this stuff.

I sent the supplier an email explaining the situation and how the box arrived damaged.  I ask the supplier if they had expected me to return this box of product after I was done doing whatever it was I was supposed to do with it.  The supplier's response was to say that they didn't need it back, and since it got broken, they can just send me another one.  I continue to have further even less of an idea what I'm supposed to do with this stuff, and now there's going to be more of it!   

Ladies and Gentlemen...only on monday the 13th. 

Monday, February 6, 2017

Everyone At Work Is Talking About The Game

It’s Password Day!  My email password is no longer PuppyB0w!  

You know, Jeremy, this was awfully good timing for you to have this as your email password and have it expire the day after the actual Puppy Bowl.  Remarkable foresight, I'd say. 

Or pure luck, one or the other.  

So, in case anyone is unawares, yesterday was the day of the most highly anticipated sporting event in America....Puppy Bowl!  It's an annual tradition that corresponds to some football game wherein a bunch of puppies are let into a playpen and allowed to frolic for a while on national television.  It's adorable.  

Also included is the halftime show featuring kittens who are let into a playpen and allowed to frolic for a while on national television.  This year's halftime show also included penguins and internet sensation, Keyboard Cat.  It really was quite the spectacle.  

So, right around the time of the last Password Day, I looked at the calendar to see when the next Password Day was going to be (you know...the day all of my work system passwords expire, and I spend half the morning going through different systems and emails resetting a dozen different passwords and hoping beyond all hope that the new password I've chosen follows all of the different sets of rules for all of such luck).  I immediately noticed that it was going to be today, the very day following Puppy Bowl.  My course of action became clear.  

I spent the last however many days are in between Password Days in anxious anticipation of Puppy Bowl, since I reminded myself each time I had to log into something.  It really was quite exciting, and now that Puppy Bowl has come and gone, I must move on to my next password.  

At this time is when we remind our readers that neither this, nor any of the passwords featured in "Password Day" posts were ever used as Jeremy's email password.  Don't bother trying them.  You won't succeed, you'll look foolish while doing it, and the only thing you stand to gain is a bunch of boring technical worky gibberish anyway.  It's just not worth it.