Friday, April 28, 2017

They're Probably Not

“Fig Newtons are made with bananas?”  -Anonymous Co-Worker

It should be relatively well known at this point that Jeremy is a self-repeatedly-proclaimed genius.  He also works with geniuses.  On occasion, genius runs into some stumbling blocks along the way.  Have a seat, and Jeremy will regale us with an entirely true story from the office.    

So, not long ago, I was sitting in a meeting at work.  This particular meeting is a recurring meeting, every week at the same time, and it's pretty long.  It's long enough that is fairly often devolves into some sort of nonsense, and often singing.  

Jeremy gets paid for this stuff...

Another feature of this meeting is the snacks.  On occasion, cookies, candies, or other goodies make an appearance for the team to enjoy during the productive times.  Recently, due in no small part to laziness on everyone's part, this too has devolved into the treats being Tic Tacs.  (Not a sponsor...but, you can be, Tic Tacs.  Give me a call)  Tic Tacs are ostensibly breath mints, but come in such a variety of fruit flavors that they can be substituted for candy in a pinch.

At some point, this really does get around to Fig Newtons, I swear.  Also, not a sponsor.  

Not long ago, we were provided with banana flavored Tic Tacs.  They were at least reasonably tasty and I assume made my breath smell okay, so we went with it.

Well, this week, once again, the snack patrol (of which I am totally a member) slacked off, leaving us with wintergreen Tic Tacs as the treat of the day.  Not nearly as tasty, but probably did a better job with the whole breath thing, since that's what they're made for.  Anyway, this led to some good-natured ribbing of the Tic Tac provider that we had mints instead of a more appropriate candy for the meeting.  One person lamenting this fact by pointing out that we recently had the banana flavored version, and that we had no banana this week.  As you might imagine, this devolved into song, singing the song "Yes!  We Have No Bananas." 

Here's a Fun Fact!  That song is way older than you think.  It was written in 1922 by Frank Silver and Irving Cohn for the Broadway show "Make It Snappy."  

The song was also made famous more recently by being featured in a commercial.  Everyone in the meeting remembered this fact, but not what it was a commercial for.  The meeting continued.  During this time, a certain genius engineer took it upon himself to Google what commercial it was which used that song for its soundtrack.  So, a few minutes after the meeting had resumed, I randomly blurted out, "It was for Fig Newtons."  The commercial featured a monkey examining all of the new fruit flavored offerings of Newton-style cookies, but lamenting the fact that there were no banana flavored Newtons.

Only mildly confused, but certainly understanding of the interruption, a co-worker asked what was Fig Newtons, to which everyone else, who had begun laughing at this point, explained that it was the Bananas song we had sung minutes earlier.  To which, the anonymous co-worker asked, "Fig Newtons are made with bananas?" 

The meeting ended on time. 

Monday, April 24, 2017

Did They Actually Mean The Monster?

Are Motley Crue and Alice Cooper singing about the same Frankenstein? 

To understand today's Status, you should probably familiarize yourself with Motley Crue's song "Dr. Feelgood" and Alice Cooper's "Feed My Frankenstein."  I can't promise you'll be happy with yourself, but you'll at least know why Jeremy thinks he's funny.  

Right you are!  So, in the songs LIR mentions, it's pretty clear that Mr. Cooper is singing about his Frankenstein.  If you want to know more about what this means, lyrical analyses are available on the internets as an exercise for the reader.  They're not exactly wholesome, but you should have known that right around the time I said the words "Alice Cooper."  Funny story, and I'm told it's true, but my boss at work apparently used to sit next to Alice Cooper (Or Vincent Furnier, as his birth certificate would lead you to think his name is) in church in Phoenix.

I'll let that sink in. 

Either way, Motley Crue sings about Dr. Feelgood in a song whose lyrics are also not particularly wholesome.  They refer to Dr. Feelgood as a man who is "gonna be your Frankenstein."  This leads me to wonder if the two aren't the same Frankenstein.  I'm pretty sure they are.

Anyway, just a couple things to wrap up from last week's Theme Week.  

Oh yes, of course.  Friday's entry in the "Dr. Seuss Character or Pokemon" Theme Week was Poliwhirl.  The Poliwhirl, of course, is a first-generation Pokemon which lives in fresh water and whose primary abilities appear to be having translucent skin and getting other Pokemon wet.  That's about it.  Which means the finals total from last week were three Dr. Seuss Characters and two Pokemon.  Thanks to everyone who played, and for the one person who actually recognized the hidden theme in the Post titles as characters in the Digimon universe.  We hope you enjoyed Theme Week.   

Friday, April 21, 2017

Theme Week, Part Ekakimon

Jeremy Is In The Office Proudly Presents:
Dr. Seuss Character or Pokemon Week!
Day 5:  Poliwhirl 

Alas, Theme Weeks go by so quickly.  Today marks the final entry in our quiz celebrating both the Pokemon universe and the weird and wonderful creatures in the world of Dr. Seuss.  

It's always sad to see Theme Week come to an end, like all good things.  But, we will move on next week to all new Statuses.

In the meantime, we can review yesterday's character Joat. 

Joat is an animal in Dr. Seuss's book "If I Ran The Zoo."  The Joat is a strange hybrid creature, with the hooves of a cow, the coat of a squirrel, and the voice of a goat, yet exhibit dog-like behavior, especially when sitting.  They also apparently have long necks and horns.  They also apparently like to use their goat voices to sing, but the timbre becomes rather unappealing in their upper registers. 

So finally, we'll leave you with "Poliwhirl."  Is Poliwhirl another Dr. Seuss creation, or a first-generation Pokemon?  We'll post the answer on monday! 

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Theme Week, Part Dokugumon

Jeremy Is In The Office Proudly Presents:
Dr. Seuss Character or Pokemon Week!

Dr. Seuss or Pokemon Week!  Day 4:  Joat

Here we go...headlong into Day 4 of Theme Week!  All this week, we're asking you to identify the subject as a Dr. Seuss Character, or a first-generation Pokemon.  Exciting stuff.  

Right you are.  Yesterday, we introduced you to Tentacool.

Tentacool, of course, is a water-based Pokemon first introduced in 1997.  It looks a lot like a blue translucent jellyfish with red crystals adorning it's head.  The Tentacool uses sunlight as its primary weapon, storing and refracting it using the water in its body in order to generate an energy beam.  It also has the ability to mentally control other Pokemon by touching them with its two tentacles. 

As Theme Week moves right along, we examine Joat.  Is Joat a fellow Pokemon, or one of the mythical creatures from the pages of Dr. Seuss's books? 

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Theme Week, Part Cerberumon

Jeremy Is In The Office Proudly Presents:
Dr. Seuss Character or Pokemon Week!  

Day 3:  Tentacool

We've reached the halfway point of Theme Week here at Jeremy Is In The Office, and look to you to decide if today's entry is a Dr. Seuss character or a first-generation Pokemon.  

That's right!  Theme Week keeps chugging right along, as yesterday we asked about Biffer-Baum.

Biffer-Baum, of course, are birds from "Dr. Seuss's Sleep Book" who toil endless nights trying to make a bed out of bricks and rope.  We never do find out if they ever finish it without making a colossal mess. 

Today, we look at Tentacool.  Is Tentacool a figment of Dr. Seuss's imagination, or a figment of Pokemon Ltd's imagination? 

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Theme Week, Part Babydmon

Jeremy Is In The Office Proudly Presents:
Dr. Seuss Character or Pokemon Week! 

Day 2:  Biffer-Baum 

We continue with Theme Week today, as we explore the fictional universes of Dr. Seuss and the Pokemon.  It's up to you!

Yesterday, we introduced this latest Theme Week with a simple question.  Is the character presented one of the hundreds of Pokemon, or one of the seemingly endless colorful characters in a Dr. Seuss book?

The first day of Theme Week kicked off with "Kweet."

It sounds like a Pokemon, but is clearly from the world of Dr. Seuss!  

Right you are.  The Kweet is a large bird first introduced in the 1953 book "Scrambled Eggs Super!"  It is portrayed as a bird from which the eggs come from.  The eggs are improved by the fact that bugs eat the blossoms from Basalnut trees.  The bugs are then eaten by the wogs, which are eaten by the trout, which are ultimately consumed by the Kweet.  The resulting chain results in high quality, sweet eggs.

Today, we move on to Biffer-Baum.  Dr. Seuss Character, or Pokemon?   

Monday, April 17, 2017

Theme Week, Part Aegiomon

Jeremy Is In The Office Proudly Presents:
Dr. Seuss Character or Pokemon Week!  
Day 1:  Kweet  

It's Theme Week once again here at Jeremy Is In The Office, and we're celebrating by quizzing you, our loyal readers in your knowledge of two very specific groups of fictional characters.  

That's right!  Each day this week, we will offer up a figment of somebody's imagination and leave it to you to decide if that character is the work of one Theodor Seuss Geisel, or any of the many corporate automatons responsible for inventing the 802 known Pokemon.

Yes, this whole thing was thought up not long ago when I got slightly mixed up between The Lorax and the Snorlax in a conversation I remember almost nothing about.  It made me wonder just how close some of the Pokemon names are to some of the crazy mythical creatures thought up by Dr. Seuss. 

Here are some fun examples!

Dr. Seuss brought us the Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz, The Sneetches and Zanzibar Buck Buck McFate. 

Some Pokemon are the Butterfree (Which I always get confused with Fluttershy the Pony...don't ask me why), Magikarp, Pikachu, and of course, Jigglypuff. 

While all pretty fun examples of the literary genius of each, they're also pretty easy to distinguish.  The test ones used for this week's Theme Week may not be so easy.  We'll see.  I've actually already forgotten today's, but that's beside the point...I have the answer key.  Anyway, to make things a little easier, we're sticking to First Generation Pokemon, of which there are only 151.  Of course, that 151 apparently doesn't include evolutions, but I don't know if that means they evolved during first generation, or if they evolved once the second generation started...I don't know or care that much about Pokemon.  That also means the 802 number I quoted above is probably wrong, because the chart I'm looking at gives the same NDex number for two different evolutions of the same Pokemon and I seriously don't give a crap anymore.  I'll show you the link to the thing at the end of the week, since I don't want anybody cheating, but trust me, there are many many webpages devoted to this stuff.  It's a little scary. 

Regardless, today we'll be focusing on Kweet.  Is Kweet a Pokemon, or a character from a Dr. Seuss book?  You decide!