Cute. So what's good today?
Today is the greatest of all days. Toaster Fire Day!!! One of these days, I'll celebrate by photoshopping a picture of a high-volume cafeteria toaster so that it's on fire (Unless one of my loyal readers would like to provide such a picture) so everyone can share the joy....but for today, you'll just have to do with the following text:
- It was a dark and stormy morning. Somebody decided that a room-temperature cinnamon raisin bagel just wouldn't do for their morning victuals. Relief came at the sight of the famed Toaster of Hades, for little did they know what dangers lurked ahead for their tasty snack. Placing the bagel on the conveyor, our hero dreams sweet, cinnamony breakfast dreams, not knowing that this would be the last time his beloved bagel would be seen alive. The bagel makes its way into the orange glow of the toaster's mouth and toasts to a golden brown perfection. The end of the conveyor arrives, but a raisin has adhered itself to the conveyor...sealing the fate of its host. The bagel struggles to free itself from the bonds of the horrible searing toaster chain, but the grip is sound, and the cool freedom of the slide will not be his this day. The bagel is pulled upside-down back through the heat chamber, raisin and bagel burning as one, an ever-heating mass of former breakfast quickly becoming an inedible ball of sticky carbon. Already charred and defeated, the bagel wraps once more around the front of the conveyor, and the glowing cave awaits with no mercy in its eyes. As the bagel makes its third pass over the glowing embers of hell, it finally loses its grip of the mortal coil and bursts into fiery death. Flames nearly an inch high dance on part of the former bagel as the Toaster of Hades laughs mockingly at its latest sacrifice. The charred and defeated bagel is finally released by the toaster, and slides smoldering and smoking to its mournful master.
*I may have taken a couple liberties for dramatic effect.
1 comment:
Bravo! Best thing I've read so far today. Sure, it's 10:06 AM, but still, that's saying something.
I think that's the first time I've ever thought, "Hey, the cafeteria is interesting!" (Except possibly for the day when my coworker had an unlimited coupon)
Post a Comment