Yes, as do I. It is warm and crispy.

So wait, the cafeteria workers can toast croissants, but the rest of us can’t? DISCRIMINATION!!!


I don't get why this is so offensive


It seems you need some backstory.

A while back, we ran a Sametime Status that read, Contrary to what the sign tells you, I encourage you to not “Use Your Head When Toasting Bread” in the 300 cafeteria. Nothing jump-starts my morning quite like watching the toaster go up in flames.

The cafeteria in my building has a high-volume toaster, similar to the one pictured here, but ancient:



Because people had set the thing on fire so many times, the cafeteria employees actually put a sign on top of the toaster, using the quote in the above Sametime Status (USE YOUR HEAD WHEN TOASTING BREAD!). It specifically told you not to toast buttered items, croissants, or anything with cheese. This deprived me of the fun of watching the toaster ignite for a while, until somebody realized that Blueberry Muffins weren't on the list of banned substances. That was a special morning, because not only did the muffin shreds light up, but they served as kindling for the rest of the muffin, which came down the slide fully engulfed. It was glorious.

Sadly, I haven't seen the toaster on fire since. But today, I had a front-row seat as one of the cafeteria staff brazenly defied orders, and placed a croissant into the toaster. I sat back with anxious anticipation, waiting for the payoff of smoke and fire, thinking how amazing the rest of my day would be if only the morning were to get off to this start...

Nothing happened. She got a slightly over-toasted croissant. Maybe next time.