Sit! Stay! Good Boy!

“Collar Stay” is an entirely ironic name.  They never stay in the collar when I’m doing the laundry

Maybe they just hep your Collar Stay in place when you're wearing your shirt.  It's not that complicated, Jeremy.

Well, that jut makes too much sense for it to make a good subject for a comedy rant.  

If you're like me, you have shirts.  Sometimes, these shirts have collars.  Sometimes, those collars have little plastic tab thingies in them in order to keep the collar from rolling or folding up and looking stupid.  I learned not all that long ago that there is a technical name for these little tab thingies...and that name is "Collar Stay."  In fact, if you're all fancy and stuff, you can get collar stays Made Of Metal, which serves no useful purpose whatsoever.  

Here's the problem with collar stays.  83% of the time I'm made aware of them, it's because I'm fishing the stupid things out of the bottom of my washing machine.  I don't know if you're supposed to remember to take them out of your shirts before you toss them in the laundry or not, but I never think about that, so they go right in the machine every time.  So, what's left is an entire wardrobe of shirts where roughly half of them have both collar stays, some of them have a mismatched set when I realized one was missing and replaced it with one I had laying around, and a small pile of collar stays laying around on my dresser that are really really clean.  

That's usually where they stay.