Jeremy’s Sametime Status Proudly Presents: Letter Sequence Week!
Identify the following subset of the alphabet: CEFGHIJKLMNSTUVWXYZ
I know! That's all the letters that fell off the Hindenburg's "No Smoking" Sign!
Uhmm...no, and disturbing.
Oh well...so what was yesterday's?
Yesterday's subset (AEILNORSTU), as correctly identified by a handful of people, some by cheating (read: Barry), and some after a little prodding (read: Jeff) are all of the letters worth a single point in Scrabble. Today's is a little more challenging, and then get ready to bust out Wikipedia or The Google or something tomorrow (read: cheat), because they get a lot harder from here.
Sounds like fun.
For me, maybe. :)
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Theme Week; Part The Second
Jeremy’s Sametime Status Proudly Presents: Letter Sequence Week!
Identify the following subset of the alphabet: AEILNORSTU
So this one's a little harder then?
That's how it goes....and given how many people pretty easily got yesterday's, there's really only one way to go. After today, you have to get a little creative to figure them out.
How about a hint?
No.
Okay, so how about yesterday's?
Of course. As correctly stated by 2 people on the Blag, and at least 7 others on Sametime, yesterday's alphabet subset (CDILMVX) are all of the letters used as Roman Numerals. Apparently, after you get to the thousands, there's a strange series of lines that you put over the letters to multiply their values, and once you get to roughly a million, there is no consistant pattern. I learned this on Wikipedia, so you know it's true.
Identify the following subset of the alphabet: AEILNORSTU
So this one's a little harder then?
That's how it goes....and given how many people pretty easily got yesterday's, there's really only one way to go. After today, you have to get a little creative to figure them out.
How about a hint?
No.
Okay, so how about yesterday's?
Of course. As correctly stated by 2 people on the Blag, and at least 7 others on Sametime, yesterday's alphabet subset (CDILMVX) are all of the letters used as Roman Numerals. Apparently, after you get to the thousands, there's a strange series of lines that you put over the letters to multiply their values, and once you get to roughly a million, there is no consistant pattern. I learned this on Wikipedia, so you know it's true.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Theme Week; Part The First
Jeremy’s Sametime Status Proudly Presents: Letter Sequence Week!
Identify the following subset of the alphabet: CDILMVX
I don't quite get it....how do you play?
It's quite easy today, and will get much harder by the end of the week (as is custom in Quiz-related Theme Weeks). In this case, you simply tell me what letters are being used, although they may be out of the normal order you would see them in. For this week, all of the letters will be in alphabetical order...since we are dealing with subsets here. Here's an example:
The subset: BCMNVXZ would be....
...the letters in the bottom row of a QWERTY keyboard?
Exactly. Now you've got it, so good luck the rest of the week.
Alright...so is there anything new on the web today?
Well, I'm not sure when it started, but this was brought to my attention the other day. Very handy invention no house should be without...particularly after The Evil Jeremy's Gun Week.
Ladies, Gentlemen, and people from Elmira, I present to you, The Back-Up
Identify the following subset of the alphabet: CDILMVX
I don't quite get it....how do you play?
It's quite easy today, and will get much harder by the end of the week (as is custom in Quiz-related Theme Weeks). In this case, you simply tell me what letters are being used, although they may be out of the normal order you would see them in. For this week, all of the letters will be in alphabetical order...since we are dealing with subsets here. Here's an example:
The subset: BCMNVXZ would be....
...the letters in the bottom row of a QWERTY keyboard?
Exactly. Now you've got it, so good luck the rest of the week.
Alright...so is there anything new on the web today?
Well, I'm not sure when it started, but this was brought to my attention the other day. Very handy invention no house should be without...particularly after The Evil Jeremy's Gun Week.
Ladies, Gentlemen, and people from Elmira, I present to you, The Back-Up
Friday, October 26, 2007
I won't change....I don't wanna!!!!
Reason #137 NOT to upgrade to Sametime v7.5: People’s Status Messages are printed in a single line with no word wrap, meaning once a message reaches the end of the scre
Okay great...we get the joke...what's the rest?
There is no "rest" actually, that's pretty much it. Now, I must take this opportunity to clarify that I didn't write this message with a ST7.5 window open to see exactly when the end of the message would drop off. This seemed like as good a place as any to end it. It also does not take into account people with higher resolution or widescreen monitors. It just ends, okay? This is a very low-budget operation, so get off my back about it alright?!
A little tense today?
Ehh...it's Friday. I don't have a creative outlet like asian poetry or anything to vent with.
Okay great...we get the joke...what's the rest?
There is no "rest" actually, that's pretty much it. Now, I must take this opportunity to clarify that I didn't write this message with a ST7.5 window open to see exactly when the end of the message would drop off. This seemed like as good a place as any to end it. It also does not take into account people with higher resolution or widescreen monitors. It just ends, okay? This is a very low-budget operation, so get off my back about it alright?!
A little tense today?
Ehh...it's Friday. I don't have a creative outlet like asian poetry or anything to vent with.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Another post about chickens
“What happens to a company if somebody takes a boss away? I will answer your question with a question: it's like what happens to a chicken when you take its head away. It dies...unless you find a new head. I need to see which one of these people have the skills to be a chicken head.” Michael Scott; Dunder Mifflin
YAY! Office tonight!
Thursday night means only one thing to people who like The Office more than Gray's Anatomy...and that's Office!
Uhhh....
So last week, Michael was having some money problems, Angela accepted a new cat from Andy (Incidentally, the same cat named "Garbage" that Dwight tried to give her a few weeks ago), and Pam and Jim spent a night on Dwight's beet farm, which has been turned into a Bed and Breakfast.
For the tech-savvy amongst you loyal and patient readers, this week, Dwight will be exploring "Second Life," (In which, apparently, you can attend a virtual book signing by Dilbert author Scott Adams, and kick him in the privates) and Michael takes over production of the Dunder Mifflin TV commercial.
You're a little obsessed with this show, you know that?
Maybe...but I'm not alone, and far from the worst. Please enjoy the Tripadvisor Page for Schrute Farms, complete with over 200 reviews from satisfied guests. Also included are pictures of the farm with people photoshopping themselves into them. I have done none of this.
Yikes.
Indeed.
YAY! Office tonight!
Thursday night means only one thing to people who like The Office more than Gray's Anatomy...and that's Office!
Uhhh....
So last week, Michael was having some money problems, Angela accepted a new cat from Andy (Incidentally, the same cat named "Garbage" that Dwight tried to give her a few weeks ago), and Pam and Jim spent a night on Dwight's beet farm, which has been turned into a Bed and Breakfast.
For the tech-savvy amongst you loyal and patient readers, this week, Dwight will be exploring "Second Life," (In which, apparently, you can attend a virtual book signing by Dilbert author Scott Adams, and kick him in the privates) and Michael takes over production of the Dunder Mifflin TV commercial.
You're a little obsessed with this show, you know that?
Maybe...but I'm not alone, and far from the worst. Please enjoy the Tripadvisor Page for Schrute Farms, complete with over 200 reviews from satisfied guests. Also included are pictures of the farm with people photoshopping themselves into them. I have done none of this.
Yikes.
Indeed.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
I feel used :(
$15.05 for a little plastic knob? I think I may have been ripped off a bit.
That seems excessive. Was it a really nice plastic knob?
Not especially. It's this one right here: (Blagger's note: This isn't actually my car...just a picture of a nearly identical car that shows the location of the aforementioned knob)
I went to switch the fan in my car from the floor to the defroster, since I figured being able to see the road would be helpful for driving to work. The knob just snapped off the post underneath and fell off. This is actually the second time this has happened to me. Since no auto parts store carries silly little knobs like this, I went to a dealer. Just holding up the knob was enough for the guy to know exactly what it was, and what year my car was...which tells me that this sort of thing happens all the time. The replacement knob cost 15 friggin dollars...but at least I can see the road today. I think next time, I'll call a few junkyards to see if any of them have a car like mine I can get a stupid knob from. Or maybe if somebody I know has a similar car, I can get a ride from them and swipe it from their car when they're not looking. That might be my best option...
By the way, did anyone come up with any other good eponyms yesterday?
As a matter of fact, they did. The following is the complete list of stuff I was messaged with yesterday, published for your edutainment:
That seems excessive. Was it a really nice plastic knob?
Not especially. It's this one right here: (Blagger's note: This isn't actually my car...just a picture of a nearly identical car that shows the location of the aforementioned knob)
I went to switch the fan in my car from the floor to the defroster, since I figured being able to see the road would be helpful for driving to work. The knob just snapped off the post underneath and fell off. This is actually the second time this has happened to me. Since no auto parts store carries silly little knobs like this, I went to a dealer. Just holding up the knob was enough for the guy to know exactly what it was, and what year my car was...which tells me that this sort of thing happens all the time. The replacement knob cost 15 friggin dollars...but at least I can see the road today. I think next time, I'll call a few junkyards to see if any of them have a car like mine I can get a stupid knob from. Or maybe if somebody I know has a similar car, I can get a ride from them and swipe it from their car when they're not looking. That might be my best option...
By the way, did anyone come up with any other good eponyms yesterday?
As a matter of fact, they did. The following is the complete list of stuff I was messaged with yesterday, published for your edutainment:
- André-Marie Ampère
- Louis Braille
- Rudolf Diesel
- Christian Doppler
- Alfred Nobel
- Adolphe Sax
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
And down the stretch they come.....
The famous racehorse “Upset” is the only thing eponymous for doing something good. Discuss.
What did he do exactly?
This is the slightly more famous racehorse Man o' War:
From 1919-1921, Man o' War was the dominant racehorse of his time, winning almost all of his races, some by astounding margins. At least one of his records still stands today (Winning the Lawrence Realization Stakes in 2:40, which lowered the existing record by a full 6 seconds).
I say he won "almost" all of his races. He compiled an impressive 20 wins in 21 races...the only race he lost (and there are stories of impropriety by the starting gate operators) was the Sanford Memorial Stakes. As the story goes, the horse was still preparing, facing backwards on the track when the barrier was removed and the race began. Despite this, Man o' War still only lost the race by a half length. The winning horse's name was Upset.
Up until that time, the word "upset" had really only meant something unsettled or an angry or distraught emotion. After this race, the horse's name became part of sporting lexicon. Now, any competitor who defeats a heavily favoured opponent is said to have "Pulled an Upset."
What did he do exactly?
This is the slightly more famous racehorse Man o' War:
From 1919-1921, Man o' War was the dominant racehorse of his time, winning almost all of his races, some by astounding margins. At least one of his records still stands today (Winning the Lawrence Realization Stakes in 2:40, which lowered the existing record by a full 6 seconds).
I say he won "almost" all of his races. He compiled an impressive 20 wins in 21 races...the only race he lost (and there are stories of impropriety by the starting gate operators) was the Sanford Memorial Stakes. As the story goes, the horse was still preparing, facing backwards on the track when the barrier was removed and the race began. Despite this, Man o' War still only lost the race by a half length. The winning horse's name was Upset.
Up until that time, the word "upset" had really only meant something unsettled or an angry or distraught emotion. After this race, the horse's name became part of sporting lexicon. Now, any competitor who defeats a heavily favoured opponent is said to have "Pulled an Upset."
Monday, October 22, 2007
Chicken Soup for the Skates
“As much as he was the guy who drew the short straw last year, he ended up making chicken salad out of it.” -LA Kings Coach Marc Crawford on Goaltender Jason LaBarbera
You've lost it. This officially makes no sense.
I know...that's why it's here. It's part of my continuing effort to re-educate the world about the wonderful sport of hockey.
So last year, the LA Kings had a bit of a logjam at goaltender. They had signed Dan Cloutier to an inflated 2-year contract, so he was on the team. The battle for backup boiled down to "Potential Boy" Jason LaBarbera and incumbent starter Mathieu Garon. In training camp, Garon won the job, so LaBarbera was sent down to the minor league team in Manchester. What followed was a tragedy of made-for-tv-movie proportions. Cloutier injured himself early in the year and barely played at all, certainly earnig his $3+ million. Garon was adequate at his best, and more often played scared and thus badly. He also spent considerable time injured. LaBarbera, on the other hand was had a career year down in the AHL, setting the league on fire, becoming its winningest goalie, and earning the starting job for the AHL All-Star team.
Due to the NHL's contract with the players union, LaBarbera (since he started training camp with the NHL team and had an NHL contract) could not be simply called up from Manchester. He would have to be exposed to what is called "Re-Entry Waivers." This means that any team in the NHL would have 48 hours to claim him as their own player, and for only half the price. LA would have to still pay the remaining 50% of his contract salary. Since there is no way a goalie playing as well as he was would clear waivers without being claimed, the Kings were forced to leave Jason wallowing in the minor leagues for the entire season. They resorted to plans B, C, and D before the end of the year, playing household name Barry Brust, Yutaka Fukufuji (the NHL's first Japanese goalie), and finally signed Sean Burke out of retirement. The result was an absolute mess, and the Kings finished the season in the 3rd to last position in the NHL. But at least, it seems Jason LaBarbera got a tasty chicken salad snack out of it.
You've lost it. This officially makes no sense.
I know...that's why it's here. It's part of my continuing effort to re-educate the world about the wonderful sport of hockey.
So last year, the LA Kings had a bit of a logjam at goaltender. They had signed Dan Cloutier to an inflated 2-year contract, so he was on the team. The battle for backup boiled down to "Potential Boy" Jason LaBarbera and incumbent starter Mathieu Garon. In training camp, Garon won the job, so LaBarbera was sent down to the minor league team in Manchester. What followed was a tragedy of made-for-tv-movie proportions. Cloutier injured himself early in the year and barely played at all, certainly earnig his $3+ million. Garon was adequate at his best, and more often played scared and thus badly. He also spent considerable time injured. LaBarbera, on the other hand was had a career year down in the AHL, setting the league on fire, becoming its winningest goalie, and earning the starting job for the AHL All-Star team.
Due to the NHL's contract with the players union, LaBarbera (since he started training camp with the NHL team and had an NHL contract) could not be simply called up from Manchester. He would have to be exposed to what is called "Re-Entry Waivers." This means that any team in the NHL would have 48 hours to claim him as their own player, and for only half the price. LA would have to still pay the remaining 50% of his contract salary. Since there is no way a goalie playing as well as he was would clear waivers without being claimed, the Kings were forced to leave Jason wallowing in the minor leagues for the entire season. They resorted to plans B, C, and D before the end of the year, playing household name Barry Brust, Yutaka Fukufuji (the NHL's first Japanese goalie), and finally signed Sean Burke out of retirement. The result was an absolute mess, and the Kings finished the season in the 3rd to last position in the NHL. But at least, it seems Jason LaBarbera got a tasty chicken salad snack out of it.
Friday, October 19, 2007
One lump or two?
Salvador Dali's clocks aren't wrong or stopped or broken. Their active faces slide like pancake batter over edges of a bureau, bend and hang across branches. In fact, Dali's clocks are not clocks at all, if we mean bookkeepers that measure unvarying flow. But then, the heart is not that kind of clock either; rather, it is a fractal tempo tracker that runs concurrently to the beat of several highly variable drummers. There's also the fact that Dali locked himself in an artist's garret for days on end. Enclosed space, paint fumes...you do the math.
That is way too insightful and clever for you to have come up with it.
Well, yes...that's very true. This quote was taken from Ebenezer of Two Lumps, an amusing webcomic that's on my list of things to read on occasion. I've also borrowed one or two of Snooch's haikus (not on Friday) to use as status messages.
Alright...so do you have anything else today?
Yes...I got some really $#*&ing good news for all of you working people out there. Have fun!
That is way too insightful and clever for you to have come up with it.
Well, yes...that's very true. This quote was taken from Ebenezer of Two Lumps, an amusing webcomic that's on my list of things to read on occasion. I've also borrowed one or two of Snooch's haikus (not on Friday) to use as status messages.
Alright...so do you have anything else today?
Yes...I got some really $#*&ing good news for all of you working people out there. Have fun!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Tonight: Money
"You might be surprised to learn that I’ve only been to one other wedding. It’s actually a very cute story. My mom was marrying Jeff and they asked me to be ring bearer and I was understandably emotional and somehow my pants became wet. Long story short, Jeff’s dog ended up as ring bearer and the irony is that after the ceremony, that dog peed on everything, and nobody said boo." Michael Scott; Dunder Mifflin
Office tonight! Did you see last week's episode?
Of course. It was quite possibly the funniest episode of The Office ever. Ryan held a launch party for the new company website in New York, and Michael thought he was invited. He and Jim got most of the way to the City before Jim realized what was actually going on. Dwight decided to compete with the company website to see who could sell the most paper, but to his surprise, the website became aware and taunted him over Instant Messenger. Strictly speaking, Pam was doing the talking, but it was all the same to Dwight. Meanwhile, Andy has decided to pursue Angela, much to Dwight's dismay, and Kelly is so amused by the animated shopping cart on the website that she's started buying reams of paper. It made sense at the time.
Wasn't there something about a book?
Yes, quite. Michael had bought a copy of "Green Eggs and Ham" for Ryan as a gift for the launch party. He said he wanted to get "Oh The Places You'll Go" but they were sold out. This is especially funny to me since one of my loyal readers had an experience with this. He took a very extensive (several months long) training course on something here at work. When they "graduated," each student got a giftwrapped present. It was a copy of "Oh the Places You'll Go" by Dr. Seuss...and the management here actually thought that was clever and/or a good idea. It seems every time I bring up this story, the response involves an abundant amount of cursing. Not sure what's up with that...
Office tonight! Did you see last week's episode?
Of course. It was quite possibly the funniest episode of The Office ever. Ryan held a launch party for the new company website in New York, and Michael thought he was invited. He and Jim got most of the way to the City before Jim realized what was actually going on. Dwight decided to compete with the company website to see who could sell the most paper, but to his surprise, the website became aware and taunted him over Instant Messenger. Strictly speaking, Pam was doing the talking, but it was all the same to Dwight. Meanwhile, Andy has decided to pursue Angela, much to Dwight's dismay, and Kelly is so amused by the animated shopping cart on the website that she's started buying reams of paper. It made sense at the time.
Wasn't there something about a book?
Yes, quite. Michael had bought a copy of "Green Eggs and Ham" for Ryan as a gift for the launch party. He said he wanted to get "Oh The Places You'll Go" but they were sold out. This is especially funny to me since one of my loyal readers had an experience with this. He took a very extensive (several months long) training course on something here at work. When they "graduated," each student got a giftwrapped present. It was a copy of "Oh the Places You'll Go" by Dr. Seuss...and the management here actually thought that was clever and/or a good idea. It seems every time I bring up this story, the response involves an abundant amount of cursing. Not sure what's up with that...
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
I think I hurt my brain
What would happen if somebody were to ask a rhetorical question?
Cute. So what's good today?
Today is the greatest of all days. Toaster Fire Day!!! One of these days, I'll celebrate by photoshopping a picture of a high-volume cafeteria toaster so that it's on fire (Unless one of my loyal readers would like to provide such a picture) so everyone can share the joy....but for today, you'll just have to do with the following text:
*I may have taken a couple liberties for dramatic effect.
Cute. So what's good today?
Today is the greatest of all days. Toaster Fire Day!!! One of these days, I'll celebrate by photoshopping a picture of a high-volume cafeteria toaster so that it's on fire (Unless one of my loyal readers would like to provide such a picture) so everyone can share the joy....but for today, you'll just have to do with the following text:
- It was a dark and stormy morning. Somebody decided that a room-temperature cinnamon raisin bagel just wouldn't do for their morning victuals. Relief came at the sight of the famed Toaster of Hades, for little did they know what dangers lurked ahead for their tasty snack. Placing the bagel on the conveyor, our hero dreams sweet, cinnamony breakfast dreams, not knowing that this would be the last time his beloved bagel would be seen alive. The bagel makes its way into the orange glow of the toaster's mouth and toasts to a golden brown perfection. The end of the conveyor arrives, but a raisin has adhered itself to the conveyor...sealing the fate of its host. The bagel struggles to free itself from the bonds of the horrible searing toaster chain, but the grip is sound, and the cool freedom of the slide will not be his this day. The bagel is pulled upside-down back through the heat chamber, raisin and bagel burning as one, an ever-heating mass of former breakfast quickly becoming an inedible ball of sticky carbon. Already charred and defeated, the bagel wraps once more around the front of the conveyor, and the glowing cave awaits with no mercy in its eyes. As the bagel makes its third pass over the glowing embers of hell, it finally loses its grip of the mortal coil and bursts into fiery death. Flames nearly an inch high dance on part of the former bagel as the Toaster of Hades laughs mockingly at its latest sacrifice. The charred and defeated bagel is finally released by the toaster, and slides smoldering and smoking to its mournful master.
*I may have taken a couple liberties for dramatic effect.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Roll out!
Fate has yielded its reward: a new world to call home. We live among its people now, hiding in plain sight, but watching over them in secret, waiting, protecting. I have witnessed their capacity for courage, and though we are worlds apart, like us, there's more to them than meets the eye. I am Optimus Prime, and I send this message to any surviving Autobots taking refuge among the stars: we are here, we are waiting.
That's right...Transformers comes out on DVD today, doesn't it?
Yes it does, my friend. Yes it does. And even though I will be making that purchase this evening, there may or may not be a screening at the Jeremy Megaplex 1 tonight. I have yet to decide.
But I don't think it was REALLY that good of a movie.
That's very true. The plot was thin and Shia LeBeouf may be the single most annoying actor since Pauly Shore (I just made a second Pauly Shore reference in the Blag. I need to go lay down), but it was a lot of fun. I mean, really....Starscream was an F-22 for cryin' out loud! That's good stuff. Also...it's Transformers!!!
Alright, alright....you're still a jerk.
Is that because of the video I posted yesterday?
Yes. You hurt Willie. His ears bled.
I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you with a rare double-shot of Letters to the Editor from the Erie Times-News. Today includes a long-time favourite of the Letter-reading crowd, but makes its first appearance on the Blag. It's a feature we like to call "Non-Sequitur Theatre." The second letter is just brilliant. Enjoy!
That's right...Transformers comes out on DVD today, doesn't it?
Yes it does, my friend. Yes it does. And even though I will be making that purchase this evening, there may or may not be a screening at the Jeremy Megaplex 1 tonight. I have yet to decide.
But I don't think it was REALLY that good of a movie.
That's very true. The plot was thin and Shia LeBeouf may be the single most annoying actor since Pauly Shore (I just made a second Pauly Shore reference in the Blag. I need to go lay down), but it was a lot of fun. I mean, really....Starscream was an F-22 for cryin' out loud! That's good stuff. Also...it's Transformers!!!
Alright, alright....you're still a jerk.
Is that because of the video I posted yesterday?
Yes. You hurt Willie. His ears bled.
I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you with a rare double-shot of Letters to the Editor from the Erie Times-News. Today includes a long-time favourite of the Letter-reading crowd, but makes its first appearance on the Blag. It's a feature we like to call "Non-Sequitur Theatre." The second letter is just brilliant. Enjoy!
- Letters Removed at the request of the Publisher
Monday, October 15, 2007
There's a chill in the air...
Give yourself a hug like the air is chilly. Put your hands on your face and slap yourself silly. Yeah, Schmëerskåhøvên!
So it was a little cold this weekend. Is it really that big a deal?
Yes and no. As you know, I'm not a cold weather person, despite living in the northeast my entire life. So the fact that it was in the 40s (4.5°C) when I woke up yesterday didn't exactly thrill me. The fact that they hadn't yet turned the heat on to my apartment didn't help. And now that it's cold, they DID turn the heat on to my office, so it's in the lower 80's inside. In the immortal words of Lewis Black, "It's not weather, it's Malaria."
Also, I really wanted to have a second Schmëerskåhøvên reference in the ol' Blag here. Makes the place a little homier.
That's enough torture for one day, don't you think?
Normally, I'd agree with you...but it's monday, so that means extra pain and suffering for everyone. I was made aware of This YouTube Video not all that long ago, and if I have to have seen and heard it, so do you. Enjoy!
You know you can just embed those into the Blag, right?
Who actually does that? Geeze....
So it was a little cold this weekend. Is it really that big a deal?
Yes and no. As you know, I'm not a cold weather person, despite living in the northeast my entire life. So the fact that it was in the 40s (4.5°C) when I woke up yesterday didn't exactly thrill me. The fact that they hadn't yet turned the heat on to my apartment didn't help. And now that it's cold, they DID turn the heat on to my office, so it's in the lower 80's inside. In the immortal words of Lewis Black, "It's not weather, it's Malaria."
Also, I really wanted to have a second Schmëerskåhøvên reference in the ol' Blag here. Makes the place a little homier.
That's enough torture for one day, don't you think?
Normally, I'd agree with you...but it's monday, so that means extra pain and suffering for everyone. I was made aware of This YouTube Video not all that long ago, and if I have to have seen and heard it, so do you. Enjoy!
You know you can just embed those into the Blag, right?
Who actually does that? Geeze....
Friday, October 12, 2007
Captain's Blog...Supplemental
So, as much as I thought we were done for the day, I absolutely could not deprive you of today's "Homework Day" Letter to the Editor, from the Erie Times-News. It's so cute how this student tries to use big words and fails miserably.
- Letter removed at the request of the publisher
Theme Week, Part IIIII
Jeremy’s Sametime Status Proudly Presents 'Don’t Be That Guy' Week!
That Guy who puts “Thanks” or “Thank You” in their email signature instead of actually typing it each time they send a message...Don’t Be That Guy.
Other than being the tiniest bit lazy, what's so wrong about that? How can you even tell anyway?
What's wrong with it is that it's hypocritical and dilutes the actual thanking that you're doing. In this day and age, where managers are told to reward employees with a 5-word compliment and a firm handshake (Also known as the Attaboy Special), and that you should always take the time to say "thank you," often that miniscule bit of gratitude is all we get or give. When you water it down by offering it to everybody who ever gets an email from you, and worse, take any sort of effort out of the act for yourself, you're actually taking away from the gratitude you're giving. Sure, it's more efficient, and most of your work emails probably end in "Thanks" anyway, but how hard is it to actually thank the person with 6 or 9 key strokes rather than letting the computer do it for you? Take the extra 2.4 seconds and actually express some thanks for a job well done.
As for how you can tell...now that you're all going to start looking for it, you'll find it comes remarkably easily. Most people will mix it up a little bit, depending on the type of email....using both 'Thanks' and 'Thank You' pretty interchangably. "That Guy" will obviously never deviate from their chosen variation, since they don't give themselves the choice. Also, if the Thanking is built into the end of a line of typed text, it's usually a good indication that it's not a Sig. If the Thanks starts and ends it's own line of text, you may be dealing with "That Guy"...also look for a more liberal space than usual between the end of the email and the Thanks. More than one space in between email and Thank You is a sure sign. Finally, look for punctuation. That Guy will often put a period or a comma at the end of their Thank You, which will never change from email to email. Consistancy is a telling sign.
Good stuff today. Very informative. Got anything else?
In fact, I do. If you're like me...
God, I hope not
Then you're probably wondering where rappers and famous people get those shiny gold and jewel-studded teeth. You're thinking how much better you'd look if only you could find a set for yourself. Well, wonder no more!
Mr. Bling!
Also, you're all familiar with the quintessential "Am I Hot Or Not" website. Well here's something along the same lines, but for grills. (And I don't mean barbecues)
See My Grill
That Guy who puts “Thanks” or “Thank You” in their email signature instead of actually typing it each time they send a message...Don’t Be That Guy.
Other than being the tiniest bit lazy, what's so wrong about that? How can you even tell anyway?
What's wrong with it is that it's hypocritical and dilutes the actual thanking that you're doing. In this day and age, where managers are told to reward employees with a 5-word compliment and a firm handshake (Also known as the Attaboy Special), and that you should always take the time to say "thank you," often that miniscule bit of gratitude is all we get or give. When you water it down by offering it to everybody who ever gets an email from you, and worse, take any sort of effort out of the act for yourself, you're actually taking away from the gratitude you're giving. Sure, it's more efficient, and most of your work emails probably end in "Thanks" anyway, but how hard is it to actually thank the person with 6 or 9 key strokes rather than letting the computer do it for you? Take the extra 2.4 seconds and actually express some thanks for a job well done.
As for how you can tell...now that you're all going to start looking for it, you'll find it comes remarkably easily. Most people will mix it up a little bit, depending on the type of email....using both 'Thanks' and 'Thank You' pretty interchangably. "That Guy" will obviously never deviate from their chosen variation, since they don't give themselves the choice. Also, if the Thanking is built into the end of a line of typed text, it's usually a good indication that it's not a Sig. If the Thanks starts and ends it's own line of text, you may be dealing with "That Guy"...also look for a more liberal space than usual between the end of the email and the Thanks. More than one space in between email and Thank You is a sure sign. Finally, look for punctuation. That Guy will often put a period or a comma at the end of their Thank You, which will never change from email to email. Consistancy is a telling sign.
Good stuff today. Very informative. Got anything else?
In fact, I do. If you're like me...
God, I hope not
Then you're probably wondering where rappers and famous people get those shiny gold and jewel-studded teeth. You're thinking how much better you'd look if only you could find a set for yourself. Well, wonder no more!
Mr. Bling!
Also, you're all familiar with the quintessential "Am I Hot Or Not" website. Well here's something along the same lines, but for grills. (And I don't mean barbecues)
See My Grill
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Theme Week, Part IIII
Jeremy’s Sametime Status Proudly Presents 'Don’t Be That Guy' Week!
That Guy who wears socks and sandals...Don’t Be That Guy.
This one is pretty obvious...does it really need to be said?
The answer to that, Loyal Imaginary Reader, is a painful, yet emphatic "yes". Especially during the summer months, people ignore this simple rule of etiquette all the time. Now, while it may be a complete violation of decency and all that is right with the world, it does provide us some people to laugh at...and isn't that what it's really all about?
Also, if you should happen to brush off my advice, you may end up on This Website. You don't want that.
Speaking of laughing, does this mean there's no Office tonight?
Not so! There is a new Hour-Long episode again tonight. Don't get too used to the whole 60-minute thing, next week's episode will be the last jumbo episode for some time. We go back to the standard 30-minute format after that. This week, Dwight competes against the new corporate website to see which is the better paper salesman. In case you missed last week, Ryan came back from corproate to launch the new Company Website ask Pam out, only to be shot down quickly. If you're keeping track, this is the second of Jim's girlfriends that Ryan has gone after. Michael drove his rental car into a lake to prove a point about technology, and Toby outed Pam and Jim to everyone. Poor Toby...he has a crush on Pam too.
So why is there no quote today?
Theme Weeks always trump Office quotes on Thursdays. But, if you were caught unaware and came here looking for your Office fix for the week, I'll set you up with a quote to help ease the transition.
That Guy who wears socks and sandals...Don’t Be That Guy.
This one is pretty obvious...does it really need to be said?
The answer to that, Loyal Imaginary Reader, is a painful, yet emphatic "yes". Especially during the summer months, people ignore this simple rule of etiquette all the time. Now, while it may be a complete violation of decency and all that is right with the world, it does provide us some people to laugh at...and isn't that what it's really all about?
Also, if you should happen to brush off my advice, you may end up on This Website. You don't want that.
Speaking of laughing, does this mean there's no Office tonight?
Not so! There is a new Hour-Long episode again tonight. Don't get too used to the whole 60-minute thing, next week's episode will be the last jumbo episode for some time. We go back to the standard 30-minute format after that. This week, Dwight competes against the new corporate website to see which is the better paper salesman. In case you missed last week, Ryan came back from corproate to launch the new Company Website ask Pam out, only to be shot down quickly. If you're keeping track, this is the second of Jim's girlfriends that Ryan has gone after. Michael drove his rental car into a lake to prove a point about technology, and Toby outed Pam and Jim to everyone. Poor Toby...he has a crush on Pam too.
So why is there no quote today?
Theme Weeks always trump Office quotes on Thursdays. But, if you were caught unaware and came here looking for your Office fix for the week, I'll set you up with a quote to help ease the transition.
- "When you become close with someone you develop a kind of sixth sense. You can read their moods like a book. Right now, the title of Michael's book is "Something Weird is Going On...colon...What Did Jan Say?...The Michael Scott Story... by Michael Scott... with Dwight Schrute." Dwight Schrute; Dunder Mifflin
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Theme Week, Part III
Jeremy’s Sametime Status Proudly Presents 'Don’t Be That Guy' Week!
That Guy who cracks a joke at someone’s expense in a meeting, then looks around for everybody else’s approval...Don’t Be That Guy.
That can be pretty uncomfortable, can't it?
Yes...and more than that, it's basically an admission that you did something wrong and know it. But, as long as somebody else is laughing or bobbing their head like a good little sycophant, you're still okay.
But what about the joke itself?
In general, it's not a good idea to embarrass anybody in a meeting, even with a harmless joke. Remember: The toes you step on today may be attached to the butt you have to kiss tomorrow.
So I understand there were some good letters?
Oh, gosh yes...We would have run a Letter to the Editor yesterday, but the rant about the Yankees took precedent. As a special treat, we present a two-spot of Letters from the Erie Times-News:
That Guy who cracks a joke at someone’s expense in a meeting, then looks around for everybody else’s approval...Don’t Be That Guy.
That can be pretty uncomfortable, can't it?
Yes...and more than that, it's basically an admission that you did something wrong and know it. But, as long as somebody else is laughing or bobbing their head like a good little sycophant, you're still okay.
But what about the joke itself?
In general, it's not a good idea to embarrass anybody in a meeting, even with a harmless joke. Remember: The toes you step on today may be attached to the butt you have to kiss tomorrow.
So I understand there were some good letters?
Oh, gosh yes...We would have run a Letter to the Editor yesterday, but the rant about the Yankees took precedent. As a special treat, we present a two-spot of Letters from the Erie Times-News:
- Letter removed at the request of the publisher
- Letter removed at the request of the publisher
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Theme Week, Part II
Jeremy’s Sametime Status Proudly Presents 'Don’t Be That Guy' Week!
That Guy who sits in meetings spinning a pen around on his finger...Don’t Be That Guy.
Ooo, that is obnoxious.
Yes it is...not only is it distracting for the other people in the meeting, but it's also distracting for yourself, and is a clear indication that you're not paying attention to what's going on in the meeting. Whenever I see somebody doing this, I make sure to ask them a question, so they either drop their pen or have to admit they weren't listening. I'm cruel like that.
But some of the pen tricks are kinda cool
I agree. They're very much like juggling, which certainly has its place....just not in my meeting! In the interest of science, I've decided to provide you all with a link to a website about Pen Spinning. I'm sure more info can be obtained on Youtube or The Google. Just don't practice in my meeting!
So, you must be pleased with the sports news today.
Indeed I am. I will break out my best John Sterling impression to announce:
YANKEES LOSE! YANKEES LOSE! THE-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E YANKEES LOSE!!!!!
Once again, the best team money can buy can't buy their way out of the first round of the playoffs, and 90% of the baseball world outside of the Greater New York City Area rejoices.
Now...despite the fact that the Cleveland Indians played 4 very good baseball games, and, with the exception of Game 3, pretty much had their way with the vaunted Yankees lineup in this series, and knocked around every last one of the Yankees starting pitchers...who gets all the media attention now that the Indians have moved on to the AL Championship Series?
ESPN:
Sports Illustrated:
The Sporting News:
So, now that the 4 teams who deserved to get to the Championship Series are playing, and the two that win will move on to the World Series...where will all the attention be? Naturally, on whether or not Joe Torre gets fired as the manager of the Damn Yankees.
That Guy who sits in meetings spinning a pen around on his finger...Don’t Be That Guy.
Ooo, that is obnoxious.
Yes it is...not only is it distracting for the other people in the meeting, but it's also distracting for yourself, and is a clear indication that you're not paying attention to what's going on in the meeting. Whenever I see somebody doing this, I make sure to ask them a question, so they either drop their pen or have to admit they weren't listening. I'm cruel like that.
But some of the pen tricks are kinda cool
I agree. They're very much like juggling, which certainly has its place....just not in my meeting! In the interest of science, I've decided to provide you all with a link to a website about Pen Spinning. I'm sure more info can be obtained on Youtube or The Google. Just don't practice in my meeting!
So, you must be pleased with the sports news today.
Indeed I am. I will break out my best John Sterling impression to announce:
YANKEES LOSE! YANKEES LOSE! THE-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E YANKEES LOSE!!!!!
Once again, the best team money can buy can't buy their way out of the first round of the playoffs, and 90% of the baseball world outside of the Greater New York City Area rejoices.
Now...despite the fact that the Cleveland Indians played 4 very good baseball games, and, with the exception of Game 3, pretty much had their way with the vaunted Yankees lineup in this series, and knocked around every last one of the Yankees starting pitchers...who gets all the media attention now that the Indians have moved on to the AL Championship Series?
So, now that the 4 teams who deserved to get to the Championship Series are playing, and the two that win will move on to the World Series...where will all the attention be? Naturally, on whether or not Joe Torre gets fired as the manager of the Damn Yankees.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Theme Week, Part I
Jeremy's Sametime Status Proudly Presents 'Don’t Be That Guy' Week!
That Guy who wears shorts to work...Don’t Be That Guy.
That is a little weird, isn't it?
Yeah, it's really a pretty pointless thing to do, and it's unprofessional. I mean, really....this is an office, not a gym. Wear pants.
Also, the building is air conditioned, and is pretty consistently kept at the same temperature year round. This, of course, is not the case in my office, when the heat becomes oppressive in the winter. My office temperature is generally hovering in the upper 70's all day once the snow starts to fall. But I'm still wearing pants!
Good for you!
Yes, it is. Thank you.
So how's about some letters, Blag Boy?
You've got it! As long as we're dealing with etiquette advice, here's a helpful tip, of sorts, from the Erie Times-News:
That Guy who wears shorts to work...Don’t Be That Guy.
That is a little weird, isn't it?
Yeah, it's really a pretty pointless thing to do, and it's unprofessional. I mean, really....this is an office, not a gym. Wear pants.
Also, the building is air conditioned, and is pretty consistently kept at the same temperature year round. This, of course, is not the case in my office, when the heat becomes oppressive in the winter. My office temperature is generally hovering in the upper 70's all day once the snow starts to fall. But I'm still wearing pants!
Good for you!
Yes, it is. Thank you.
So how's about some letters, Blag Boy?
You've got it! As long as we're dealing with etiquette advice, here's a helpful tip, of sorts, from the Erie Times-News:
- Letter removed at the request of the publisher
Friday, October 5, 2007
Sweet Clyde, laugh derisively at him
“I just made a spreadsheet with columns titled ‘Action Item’ ‘Owner’ and ‘Target Date.’ This is the first time I've done this in over a year. Ugh I feel dirty.” - Jeff Amadon
Who's this guy, and why do I care?
Jeff is a former colleague who moved on to bigger and better some time ago. By choice, mind you...this was before the layoffs. He now toils away making solar cells or something, but apparently has now decided to stop being productive, and has resorted to the timeless art that is Engineering by Collecting Owners and Target Dates. Way to go, Jeff!
Were there any good Letters to the Editor today?
The answer to that is a Yes, with an If, and a No with a But. Often, during the school year, teachers will assign homework to students in their class to write a Letter to the Editor. These letters tend to be grouped together in a phemonenon I like to call "Homework Day." The results are often painful, like this Stellar Effort from the archives:
So, today was "Homework Day" in the paper, but the majority of the letters were from Middle School kids. We here at Jeremy's Sametime Status (Jeremy Is In The Office) have made a conscious effort to limit our mockery to those of High School age or older, so there will be no re-prints today. Sorry.
Who's this guy, and why do I care?
Jeff is a former colleague who moved on to bigger and better some time ago. By choice, mind you...this was before the layoffs. He now toils away making solar cells or something, but apparently has now decided to stop being productive, and has resorted to the timeless art that is Engineering by Collecting Owners and Target Dates. Way to go, Jeff!
Were there any good Letters to the Editor today?
The answer to that is a Yes, with an If, and a No with a But. Often, during the school year, teachers will assign homework to students in their class to write a Letter to the Editor. These letters tend to be grouped together in a phemonenon I like to call "Homework Day." The results are often painful, like this Stellar Effort from the archives:
- Letter removed at the request of the publisher
So, today was "Homework Day" in the paper, but the majority of the letters were from Middle School kids. We here at Jeremy's Sametime Status (Jeremy Is In The Office) have made a conscious effort to limit our mockery to those of High School age or older, so there will be no re-prints today. Sorry.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
I'll answer that with a question...
“What happens to a company if somebody takes a boss away? I will answer your question with a question: it's like what happens to a chicken when you take its head away. It dies...unless you find a new head. I need to see which one of these people have the skills to be a chicken head.” Michael Scott; Dunder Mifflin
So, new Office tonight, huh?
Yep...it's another hour-long episode...which really just means two half-hour episodes slapped together without credits in between like last week's.
But what happened last week? Are Jim and Pam together or what?
It's official....but secret. Jim and Pam are now together, but nobody except the documentary crew knows about it. In other news, Michael hit Meredith with his car, Dwight euthanized Angela's cat and Toby won the Fun Run.
Is that it?
What else were you expecting?
The answer to yesterday's thing.
Okay, okay....since you asked so nicely. The answer (as correctly stated by Willy yesterday) is as follows:
James, while John had had "had," had had "had had." "Had had" had had a better effect on the teacher.
Presumably, they had turned in a grammar assignment of some sort--John wrote a sentence in past tense, and James used past perfect, past perfect being preferable, at least to their teacher.
In addition, the Buffalo thing...the sentence is a whimsical combination of the 3 uses of the word Buffalo. The City, the animal, and the verb meaning "to bully." the sentence, when broken down is a description of the social heirarchy in a herd of Bison. Basically meaning "Bison from Buffalo, New York who are intimidated by other bison in their community also happen to intimidate other bison in their community."
So, new Office tonight, huh?
Yep...it's another hour-long episode...which really just means two half-hour episodes slapped together without credits in between like last week's.
But what happened last week? Are Jim and Pam together or what?
It's official....but secret. Jim and Pam are now together, but nobody except the documentary crew knows about it. In other news, Michael hit Meredith with his car, Dwight euthanized Angela's cat and Toby won the Fun Run.
Is that it?
What else were you expecting?
The answer to yesterday's thing.
Okay, okay....since you asked so nicely. The answer (as correctly stated by Willy yesterday) is as follows:
James, while John had had "had," had had "had had." "Had had" had had a better effect on the teacher.
Presumably, they had turned in a grammar assignment of some sort--John wrote a sentence in past tense, and James used past perfect, past perfect being preferable, at least to their teacher.
In addition, the Buffalo thing...the sentence is a whimsical combination of the 3 uses of the word Buffalo. The City, the animal, and the verb meaning "to bully." the sentence, when broken down is a description of the social heirarchy in a herd of Bison. Basically meaning "Bison from Buffalo, New York who are intimidated by other bison in their community also happen to intimidate other bison in their community."
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
It's kinda like the Buffalo thing...
Punctuate the following so that it make sense: "James while John had had had had had had had had had had had a better effect on the teacher"
Wha....?
It's another Jeremy's Sametime Status Quiz, left as an exercise for the reader. Get out your grammar books and get cracking. Those of you who are lazy (and you know who you are) should find the answer here tomorrow, but you have no chance at winning a prize.
So there's a prize for getting it right?
Doubtful. If you get it right, and you're within a reasonable distance, and I happen to run into you at any given time near an open cafeteria or Starbucks or something, and you remind me, I may buy you a cup of coffee. If I feel like it.
So what's this Buffalo thing?
It's a somewhat famous logic puzzle about how "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo" is a grammatically correct sentence. The proof of that is left as an exercise for the reader. Or Wikipedia.
I found today's blag a little unsatisfying
Well then please enjoy this letter to the editor, courtesy of the Erie Times-News. Figuring out exactly what this guy is talking about is left as an exercise for the reader.
Letter removed at the request of the publisher
Wha....?
It's another Jeremy's Sametime Status Quiz, left as an exercise for the reader. Get out your grammar books and get cracking. Those of you who are lazy (and you know who you are) should find the answer here tomorrow, but you have no chance at winning a prize.
So there's a prize for getting it right?
Doubtful. If you get it right, and you're within a reasonable distance, and I happen to run into you at any given time near an open cafeteria or Starbucks or something, and you remind me, I may buy you a cup of coffee. If I feel like it.
So what's this Buffalo thing?
It's a somewhat famous logic puzzle about how "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo" is a grammatically correct sentence. The proof of that is left as an exercise for the reader. Or Wikipedia.
I found today's blag a little unsatisfying
Well then please enjoy this letter to the editor, courtesy of the Erie Times-News. Figuring out exactly what this guy is talking about is left as an exercise for the reader.
Letter removed at the request of the publisher
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Yes, as do I. It is warm and crispy.
So wait, the cafeteria workers can toast croissants, but the rest of us can’t? DISCRIMINATION!!!
I don't get why this is so offensive
It seems you need some backstory.
A while back, we ran a Sametime Status that read, Contrary to what the sign tells you, I encourage you to not “Use Your Head When Toasting Bread” in the 300 cafeteria. Nothing jump-starts my morning quite like watching the toaster go up in flames.
The cafeteria in my building has a high-volume toaster, similar to the one pictured here, but ancient:
Because people had set the thing on fire so many times, the cafeteria employees actually put a sign on top of the toaster, using the quote in the above Sametime Status (USE YOUR HEAD WHEN TOASTING BREAD!). It specifically told you not to toast buttered items, croissants, or anything with cheese. This deprived me of the fun of watching the toaster ignite for a while, until somebody realized that Blueberry Muffins weren't on the list of banned substances. That was a special morning, because not only did the muffin shreds light up, but they served as kindling for the rest of the muffin, which came down the slide fully engulfed. It was glorious.
Sadly, I haven't seen the toaster on fire since. But today, I had a front-row seat as one of the cafeteria staff brazenly defied orders, and placed a croissant into the toaster. I sat back with anxious anticipation, waiting for the payoff of smoke and fire, thinking how amazing the rest of my day would be if only the morning were to get off to this start...
Nothing happened. She got a slightly over-toasted croissant. Maybe next time.
I don't get why this is so offensive
It seems you need some backstory.
A while back, we ran a Sametime Status that read, Contrary to what the sign tells you, I encourage you to not “Use Your Head When Toasting Bread” in the 300 cafeteria. Nothing jump-starts my morning quite like watching the toaster go up in flames.
The cafeteria in my building has a high-volume toaster, similar to the one pictured here, but ancient:
Because people had set the thing on fire so many times, the cafeteria employees actually put a sign on top of the toaster, using the quote in the above Sametime Status (USE YOUR HEAD WHEN TOASTING BREAD!). It specifically told you not to toast buttered items, croissants, or anything with cheese. This deprived me of the fun of watching the toaster ignite for a while, until somebody realized that Blueberry Muffins weren't on the list of banned substances. That was a special morning, because not only did the muffin shreds light up, but they served as kindling for the rest of the muffin, which came down the slide fully engulfed. It was glorious.
Sadly, I haven't seen the toaster on fire since. But today, I had a front-row seat as one of the cafeteria staff brazenly defied orders, and placed a croissant into the toaster. I sat back with anxious anticipation, waiting for the payoff of smoke and fire, thinking how amazing the rest of my day would be if only the morning were to get off to this start...
Nothing happened. She got a slightly over-toasted croissant. Maybe next time.
Monday, October 1, 2007
Words of Wisdom
Light Travels Faster Than Sound, Which Is Why Some People Appear Bright Until You Hear Them Speak.
I like it...you didn't come up with that, did you?
No...this isn't a Jeremy Original, as such...but I don't remember where I got it. It was probably off of a message board somewhere. It's very insightful, though...and explains a lot.
So that's it?
Yes. That's all I've got today.
But it's been a while since we've had a Letter to the Editor. I miss them.
Well then, you're in luck! Here's a letter from the Erie Times-News reprimanding the TV news on the North Coast:
Letter removed at the request of the publisher
I like it...you didn't come up with that, did you?
No...this isn't a Jeremy Original, as such...but I don't remember where I got it. It was probably off of a message board somewhere. It's very insightful, though...and explains a lot.
So that's it?
Yes. That's all I've got today.
But it's been a while since we've had a Letter to the Editor. I miss them.
Well then, you're in luck! Here's a letter from the Erie Times-News reprimanding the TV news on the North Coast:
Letter removed at the request of the publisher
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