It's Okay...Just Press "Reload"

I certainly hope that video games give me a mistaken idea of just how long the military would search for a stolen fighter jet

Jeremy...the NSA reads this Blag.  You really shouldn't say things like this.

Wait...I have fans in the government?  

You're being investigated for jokes against humanity.  

So, on occasion, I like to play video games.  When I do, I don't necessarily like to play them in the commonly accepted way.  For example, a common goal in a hockey game I play is to finish the game with as few players on the bench as possible, the rest of them having been given Game Misconduct penalties for Abuse of the Official.  I have a different hockey game where I have perfected a method of scoring a shorthanded goal after checking the opposing goalie through the arena glass into the front row of seats.  I routinely win games by scores exceeding 20 goals.  

I've recently taken up a game you've probably heard of in the news for being too violent and immoral for kids to play.  Fortunately, I'm not a kid, so it's okay.  It's a driving/shooting/crime spree game which, for strictly blag purposes, we'll call "High-Value Larceny Involving Cars."  It's an awful lot of fun, but it's also getting a little stale by virtue of the fact that I'm expected to go on missions and stuff, when I'd rather just be playing around driving and blowing stuff up.  Fortunately, there is room for both.  

The game, despite its name, also involves planes and helicopters, some of which you're allowed to use, and others of which are pretty restricted...like say, the military's fully armed fighter jets.  They're in a restricted area, behind barbed wire fences, with tanks and armed personnel guarding them in a no-fly zone which has SAM missile batteries.  Naturally, it became important to me to have one.  

If you look online, you can see several methods of obtaining one of these prized possessions.  Some of which, I've discovered, work better than others.  After only about a half hour of trying (83% of which is spent looking at the stupid loading screen), I successfully made away with one. 

My "Wanted" level immediately became dangerously high, with police and military in hot pursuit...but I'm in a high-speed fighter jet!  After about 3 minutes of flying away from the major metro areas, everybody gave up, and I got to land my new fighter jet in my personal hangar free and clear.  Yay!  

Now, I don't know this for a fact, but it is my sincerest hope that the actual US Military would spend more than 2 or 3 minutes searching for a stolen fighter plane.  Those things can be pretty dangerous in the wrong hands.  Not to mention the fact that they're at least fairly expensive.  So, while it would be super cool for be to be able to park my own personal F-16 in my driveway, I'm pretty sure it would be discovered quickly, and the original owner would be along to repossess it.  He probably wouldn't be too happy about it, either.