I Just Want Heated Seats

If I drove as badly as that guy in the car commercial, I’d deserve to get in all those accidents  

As your resident accountant and financial adviser, I don't think this is a very good idea.  You can't afford the extra insurance on your salary.  

Fortunately for me, I'm An Excellent Driver, so I don't much have to worry about this sort of thing.

So, maybe you've seen the commercial going around now for some entry-level luxury car, I quite honestly forget which, which shows all of the wonderful new safety features it has.  It has a lane departure warning, a blind spot monitor, a front-impact detection, and maybe some other stuff.  The problem is, all of them were demonstrated by the commercial's driver on a standard commute to the office.  

Holy crap!  This guy sucks.  

If you're so mentally unfocussed that you can't pay attention to your highway driving, and actually require every last one of a car's safety warnings to make it to work, then you're doing something wrong.  

I'm okay with these features existing.  I've almost had accidents because of a blind spot, or some other idiot's blind spot or lack of attention, but this commercial makes it seem like this is a regular part of this guy's life.  He's a total jerk who must have been in dozens of accidents until this car came along to save his bacon on a routine basis.  I think it's more important that the car company advertise where this chump lives so I can make sure to stay away from him on my drive home.  

As a special note, all of us here at Jeremy Is In The Office would like to wish everyone a very happy V-Y Day!

That's right.  What's left of the integrity of Major League Baseball is preserved once again as the New York Yankees have been officially eliminated from playoff contention.  Now, there's only a few more times left where every team in the league is expected to bow down and kiss Derek Jeter's feet before he retires, freeing up 12 million dollars for the Yankees to spend on other teams' free agents this offseason.