In a bit of Revisionist History, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern pulled a MacGyver-like escape and happily lived out their lives in Saint Malo
Fascinating. We were always led to believe they died. There was even a movie about it.
That's very true, and the movie sucked mightily. I was forced to pretend to like it at one point, but that's hardly worth mentioning. What's important to know is that Rosencrantz was a Kung Fu master and Guildenstern was an expert engineer. Between the two of them, they were basically a cross between MacGyver and The A-Team, without the cool theme music. Their unique skill set is why they were chosen by Claudius for the Hamlet Mission in the first place.
Little did Hamlet know that upon sending them to their supposed deaths in England, he was merely setting the stage for a 16th century version of "Kill Bill" with mayhem and bloodshed all over the countryside.
The two later captured a pirate ship and sailed to France where they chose to let the crew live and gave command back to The Dread Pirate Frank, and lived in relative exclusion, catering to the tourists in the tiny walled town of Saint Malo. It really is a heart-warming story.
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