SCIENCE!

Hard at work developing genetically engineered Crunchberries


This sounds like a fantastic advance for mankind. Thank you for this, Jeremy.


You're very welcome.


What provoked this, anyway?


A Recent Court Case involving the makers of Cap'n Crunch and Crunchberries, of course. The defendants were sued for what amounts to false advertising for using the word "Berries" on the box and having Cap'n Crunch forcefully "thrusting a spoonful of "Crunchberries" at the prospective buyer," when in fact the cereal contains no actual fruit, or "berries."

That's right...some moron actually thought Crunchberries were real fruit and found a lawyer to actually take the case to court. Mercifully for all humanity, the case was ultimately thrown out by a judge citing precedent in a similar case against the makers of "Froot Loops" cereal. I'm actually not making that up.

Neither the Smurfs nor Frankenberry could be reached for comment.