If it weren't for my horse...

License Plate: “SNOTFACE” I don’t even have a joke about that.


Wow...just wow.


So Lewis Black did a comedy routine a few years back about hearing the dumbest phrase he's ever heard. That sentence was "If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."

The story goes that Lewis's brain immediately tried to figure out what that sentence could possibly mean, and why the person what could have happened to the person who said it to even make them think that this sentence made any sense whatsoever. I had a similar incident driving home not long ago when I saw a little red car in the rear-view mirror. I thought nothing of it at first, until I pulled away when a light turned green and saw what I thought was an interesting license plate. It was tough going because by the time the car would get close enough that I could make out the letters while driving in a safe, forward-looking manner, the plate would be out of the view of the mirror.

I saw my opportunity at the end of the road, where we come to a stop sign at the T. I was going to be turning right, and my friend in the little red car was going to the left. I purposely took an extra couple seconds at the stop sign in order to read the license plate as it pulled away...and the result was stupefying. The license plate said, and I swear I am not making this up..."SNOTFACE".

Stupid bumper stickers are one thing...you buy them once and they cost at most $5, and they're fixed for good. Vanity license plates cost a lot more, and I think you have to keep paying for them year after year. And you choose to use it on SNOTFACE?! I just don't get it...somebody help me understand. Please?