Why Is This Not A Thing?

A cricket-inspired tea break during a football game would be hilarious

Just about anything cricket-related is hilarious, really.  


Typical American Blag imaginary personality.  Condescending towards anything not popular in the US.  Cricket happens to be immensely popular in many countries, and is a perfectly worthwhile sport.  Even if nobody anywhere has any earthly clue how it's played.  To illustrate my point, I recently found this clip from a webpage somewhere while researching cricket world records:

• A World T20 qualifier game in which Ireland came almost assured of progressing to next round. They posted solid 189/4, hitting 11 sixes and Netherlands had miraculous task of chasing it down inside 14.1 overs to make history and go through. Stephan Mybrugh showed the way, scoring second fastest T20 fifty and rest of the batsmen contributed. Dutch team hit 19 sixes that day, a record for an inning, breaking all time record.

That's absurd. 

I know that a "Six" is the cricket equivalent of a baseball Home Run, and that a Googly is the equivalent of a curve ball.  Thus ends my knowledge of cricket rules. 

I do know, however, that cricket games can be remarkably long.  So long, in fact that there is a special category of cricket games called "One-Day Matches," which, as the name might imply, take place within a single day.  Playing time is usually in the neighborhood of 6 hours.  This is the short version of the game.  "First Class Matches" are played over the course of 3-5 days with 6 hours of playing time each.  Holy crap.  Everyone involved in this nonsense has to REALLY like cricket to put up with it for that long. 

Regardless of the variation, there are special rules in place which dictate when the game is played, the weather, the lighting conditions, et cetera.  Included in these are times and duration of snack breaks!  This is a terrific concept.  Players battle it out on the field for hours at a time, then take a break for tea.  I'm not joking about this.  They drink tea. 

I think this should be applied to more sports, particularly ones where the outcome would be funny.  For instance, American Football.  Teams spend the better part of 4 hours running into each other and throwing each other on the ground while giving players on the other team concussions, torn ligaments, and other assorted injuries.  Because of the nature of the game, players tend to be on the larger side of humanity, with some tipping the scales at over 350 pounds.  They also wear large padding to protect from some injuries, and most of them have large amounts of sports tape wrapped around themselves to protect existing injuries. 

Now, just imagine of these 350 pound football linemen in full uniform, with pads and tape and tattoos and eye black, holding up a saucer and sipping tea out of a fine china tea cup.  Pinky out, of course.

Let's make this happen, NFL!  Tea Break!