I Don't Have Any Relatives Named Waldo

New Hobby, ignoring the poster and just looking at a picture on Facebook to try to guess which person I actually know

I'll stick to MySpace, thank you very much.  

Facebook sucks.  

As much as I have some suggestions for improving it (My best idea is filtering posts by author and subject.  ie: if a friend posts a picture of his dinner every single night, but you still want to stay Facebook Friends with that person, filter out any posts by that person with a photo of food or the hashtag "nomnomnom."  This is not a hypothetical example.), I've largely given up on having a giant atomatonic corporation take my advice on their product.  Suffice to say, whatever changes are made to Facebook will not really improve the finished product, because the finished product is actually a by-product of what other people put onto it.  I hope that sentence made sense.  

Basically, people post crap on Facebook, and Mark Zuckerberg isn't going to change that.  It only gets worse as more external sites add a "Post This To Facebook" button, making the spread of obnoxious banality that much easier.  As a consequence, I get to scroll through 10 different results to the "Which 'My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic' Character Are You?" quiz.  (Incidentally: Discord)  Combined with that, the novelty of setting my default language to "Pirate" died away some time ago, and I never changed it back.  I rarely post, "Like", or comment on anything.  I never respond to messages, and Throwback Thursday can stick it where the sun doesn't shine.  It's entirely up to me to make my social media experience tolerable again, but the usual stuff has lost all of its luster.  New ways to enjoy Facebook are required! 

I'm "Friends" (Technically "Me Hearties," but that's splitting hairs) with 260 people and in Facebook limbo with 3 others.  Most of those people don't seem to post anything either, but among the rest, I have some "Hearties" who post a lot, and others who post A LOT.  What I've taken to doing is scrolling past their name without looking (at least trying not to cheat) and guess, based solely on the post, who said it.  

Some of them are easier than others.  Baby pictures are easy and posts about parenting advice only have one or two options.  Right-wing political rants are from one person, right-wing political rants with non-stop spelling errors are from another.  Left-wing political rants have a handful of choices, but sometimes are given away by locality.  Somebody talking about what they did at crossfit today only has one possibility, and posts with more than 3 hashtags (all of which spelled incorrectly because they end in intentionally repeated letters and I don't know whyyy) are the same 2 or 3 people every time.  

There are other posts when it gets hard, and here is where the challenge and thus, potential enjoyment lies.  Some real life examples from my current Facebook Feed:  "Good old duct tape, what would we do without you?" "Lobbying, representing Tennessee. Let's get them to tennebelieve in nuclear physics," and "So was the Clippers protest their armbands or the pathetic game they played against the Warriors?"  Those really could have come from anywhere, so I can only rely on my personal knowledge of my friends and their tendencies to post stuff to deduce who wrote them.  (Believe it or not, I got 2 out of the 3 correct).  

The most fun comes from pictures.  A lot of the time, people post pictures of themselves and I look at them and say, "Oh, that's *Insert Me Hearty's Name Here*" and move on with life.  Of course, some of my Hearties are from years ago, and I haven't actually seen them in ages, but I'm pretty good about recognizing them.  Then, there are the group photos.  Pictures including 10 or more people, most of which I've never met before.  They contain a single Hearty blended out of context with a group of total strangers.  I will occasionally stare at one for entire seconds looking for the one person out of the conglomeration that I actually recognize.  It's basically my own little version of "Where's Waldo" but I'm not told in advance which Waldo I'm looking for or how he's dressed.  I don't even have to pay for the book!