Let's Get Ready For A Conference!

I need my own theme music for when I walk into meetings

What about a Hype Crew?  You should have those too.

Can't imagine why not.  

So, when I'm at work and I walk into a meeting, people will usually look up and go, "Hi, Jeremy," in that cordial type of tone you use to greet people who walk into meetings.  It's totally serviceable, but sometimes, I feel like I deserve more.  

Pro wrestlers, on the other hand, have their name announced, then pyrotechnics go off, theme music plays, lights turn on or off and start blinking, smoke machines are going.  It's really quite exciting.  And those are pro wrestlers.  They do entertainment, and in the real hunter-gatherer sense of the world, they accomplish roughly nothing.  Granted, most of the meetings I end up attending don't accomplish a whole lot either, but that's entirely beside the point...my job matters, too.  So I should get the same treatment.  

Boxers are worse.  83% of all boxers are the champions of something or other, and walk to the ring surrounded by their entourage, at least one of which invariably is holding a championship belt high in the air, instead of around the boxer's waist, where ostensibly, it should be.  We can argue about how such a ludicrous percentage of boxers are champions, but that's also beside the point.  They come to the ring complete with entourages, theme music, chariots, ring announcers and all of that stuff too.  Their job?  Punch some other guy in the face.  

I can't help but to think how much more entertaining all of our jobs would be if we would walk into a conference room, complete with music, flashing lights, and a public address announcer calling out our names as we walked in.  All of a sudden, meetings would be far better places to be, rivalries would develop, stars would be born, and who knows...maybe even my picture on an engineering-themed Wheaties box.  

I just have to hope nobody punches me in the face or hits me over the head with a steel chair.