Batman Hates This Song

It’s 2013, and I finally realized that “pompatus” isn’t a real word

Good job, Jeremy.  Just don't ask us to start calling you Maurice.

I'm an amateur writer.  I write stupid crap on a blag every now and again, and I've written short stories, and everyone knows I should be a sitcom writer, but at present, it's a hobby.  I'm not a professional writer.  I'm not sure I could be a professional writer, since I'm not sure what all that would entail, and I'm also not sure how to get paid enough to do it without putting in more time than I usually have available.  So I'm pretty much at a crossroads there.  Regardless, being a writer, I have at least a working knowledge of words and the English language.  This, despite the internet's best efforts to destroy my brain cells through Failblog posts, Craigslist advertisements, and Youtube comments.  The world is a dangerous place for those who are cursed with linguistic intelligence.  

That said, every now and again, I come across a word in my travels that I don't know.  Often, I can figure out the general idea of the word through context, but not always.  On those other occasions, I resort to either looking up the word, pretending I do actually know what it means, despite not having a clue, or simply ignoring it and hoping it goes away.  I guess for the last however long it's been since I first heard the song, I used one of the latter two methods there during the song "The Joker" by the Steve Miller Band.  

During the first verse of the song, the singer proclaims to "speak of the pompatus of love."  I don't know what pompatus means, but rather than have people think less of me by admitting I don't know what pompatus means, I didn't make a big deal of it.  I just let people believe I was aware of the word and moved on.  After all....it's just a song, and it will go away in (on average) 4 minutes and 2 seconds.  So not long ago, I decided to confront this minor hole in my knowledge base and look up the word Pompatus.  Turns out, it's not a word.  What the crap, Steve Miller!?  Turns out everybody else was doing the same thing I was, and pretending to know what that word meant and secretly wondering if everyone else was smarter than them.  Well, no more!