Too Many Great Ideas

I think movie theaters should refuse to serve snacks for screenings of “The Hunger Games”

Unless you can prove you're from a capitol district?

That's a pretty good idea, too.  The way I see it, theaters can have any number of promotions when it comes to the new film "The Hunger Games" based on the best-selling book trilogy.  None of them are likely to catch on because people don't have enough of a sense of humor when it comes to this sort of thing, but I'm willing to share my ideas with you here.

 First, there's the no snacks idea, so everybody coming to the theater to see this movie, which is basically "Mad Max Beyond Twilight," has to go hungry.  It would fit into the mood of hunger and austerity endured by residents of District 12, as described at great length.  This won't happen because the theaters would lose some unholy amount of money by not charging $5 for a bag of popcorn that costs them no more than 35 cents to make.  At least they offer you free refills if you upgrade to the extra large trough of popcorn.  (Add an "Abyss Boy" Soda for only $6 more!)   Five free Internets to the first person who recognizes that reference.  

I have other ideas.  In keeping with the spirit of the Game Makers from the book, here's an alternate plan I like to call the "Game Maker's Room."  What you do is add a separate glass-walled enclosure to the theater in which there are no screaming children, guests are searched for cell phones upon arrival, the screen is bigger, the sound is better, and the seats are more comfortable.  In the regular theater, you tear out the comfy chairs, encourage texting during the screening, hire a dozen or so kids to cry, scream, and throw crap around the theater during the film and at least once every 15 minutes, have the projector break down.  Charge standard admission prices for the regular theater, $75 for a ticket to the "Game Maker's Room", and concurrently, give away one "Game Maker's Room" ticket per showing to the guest who wins a 24-person American-Gladiators-Style platform jousting competition.  Heck, you can even charge to enter the jousting competition.  I know I'd be in line. 

Finally, there's my "Cornucopia" idea.  Force everybody to stand in line for at least 6 hours prior to entering the theater, with no access to food or drink.  (Bathroom access is allowed)  When the theater doors open (At the exact same time as the film's opening sequence), have a large table at the front of the the theater with a large spread of foods and beverages.  The resulting onslaught and rush to seats while the movie plays would be akin to a Holiday Episode of Jerry Springer.