Math Is Everywhere!

Open windows + 5:30AM + Garbage Truck = Alarm Clock

At least the weather has been nice enough that you got to leave the windows open all night.

That's true enough, I suppose.  I should just learn not to do that on garbage day.  The truck comes along awfully early.  Now, technically, my issue wasn't the garbage truck, but the recycling.  That's the one that comes long and has all the empty bottles and cans getting dumped into it, clanking and smashing, followed by the truck driving to the next house.  I also think they need to drive that thing more efficiently than flooring it along in first gear, because they charge me a "fuel surcharge" on my bill.  That goes back to a couple years ago when gas was over $4.50 per gallon, and strangely enough, it never went away when gas prices fell.  Granted, gas is now back over $4, so it still won't be going away anytime soon. 

Regardless, the garbage truck waking me up at 5:30 in the morning sucks right out loud.  It's all a pretty simple mathematical relationship, you see.   Open Windows + 5:30AM + Garbage Truck = Alarm clock.  And when Alarm Clock = 5:30AM, Jeremy = Cranky.  Therefore, by the transitive property, Open Windows + 5:30AM + Garbage Truck = Cranky Jeremy for positive values of Garbage Truck.

That doesn't even make sense.  That's assuming Open Windows is a negative value always equal to Garbage Truck.

Which, it can be!  The formula doesn't work unless the windows are open.  Then, I can't really hear Garbage Truck, and Alarm Clock != 5:30AM.

So then what is the value of Garbage Truck for all values of 5:30AM?  

One.  

Ahh, see now it makes sense.  Glad you cleared that up.