Tuesday, April 12, 2011

I know I was

You'll be sad when you learn what "Spring Spheres" are


We can only hope they're not like those tacky reflective ball things people put in their yards.


Oh, if only that were the case. No, today's Sametime Status refers to the further deterioration of us as a people. In fact, I'm going to put this down as another in the series of Sametime Statuses I like to call "The Wussification Of America"!


Brief stop here for thunderous applause.....and go.


"Spring Spheres", as it turns out are the oblong spheroids formerly knows as "Easter Eggs". Yes, According To Some Dopes In Seattle, the term "Easter Egg" is deemed offensive enough that it needed to be removed from schools, and replaced with the politically-correct "Spring Sphere" even though eggs are not spherical. So polluting kids minds with an ostensibly neutral, albeit originally religious holiday is wrong, but polluting their minds with the fact that an egg and a sphere are the same shape is perfectly acceptable? I'm going to go ahead and Call Bunk on that.


Let the record show that Bunk has been called. So, how else is society destroying itself today?


Funny you should ask. I was recently made aware of a new product, which is really just a variation on an ages-old product, but with a slightly different use. That's right, kids...the perfect solution for busy commuters is to wear a giant adult-sized bib to keep your shirt clean and dry when you ham-handedly pour coffee all over yourself. Ladies, Gentlemen, and people from Elmira, I present The SlobStopper!

Believe it or not, THIS VIDEO is even worse. The girl walking by hates him for spilling coffee on himself, but is enamored when he puts on a bib?!? Once again...I feel obligated to Call Bunk. It's been a full day.

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