He should be the Three-Eights Back

Why does the Fullback line up between the Quarterback and the Halfback?


Does anybody even use the word "Halfback" anymore?


I think so. Typically, the word has been largely replaced with "Running Back" in the Football lexicon, but it still pops up every now and again...and it confuses me.

In a standard I Formation, you have in order, the Center, the Quarterback, the Fullback, and the Halfback. It really makes no sense. The center isn't in the center, the Halfback is all the way back, the Fullback is halfway back, and the Quarterback is directly after Center. Horrifically confusing to the first-time football watcher.


You're not a first-time football watcher.


Exactly! And I still get confused! Who's looking out for Joe Schmo out there, tuning in to football for the first time, asking what all these weird positions are? Also...everybody is "Back." On Offense you have the Quarterback, Fullback, Halfback, Running Back, Tail Back, Split Backs...and over on the defensive side it's Linebackers and Cornerbacks. There are no "Forwards." Anywhere! People go "Wide" and are on the "Ends," and on the "Line" but nobody is "Forward," and in a game where the object is to move forward into the opposition's territory, wouldn't you want somebody to at least be in charge of going there?


I suppose you have a better suggestion?


Not a suggestion to fix football, exactly. More like an alternative. A sport where the positional names at least somewhat reflect what the person does.

HOCKEY!

You have the Center, who lines up in the Center of the ice. The Left Wing is on the left side of Center, and the Right Wing is on the Right side. All three of these positions are referred to as "Forwards" as they're the primary people in charge of going forward and scoring on the opponent's Goaltender...who incidentally stands in front of the goal and tends to it. The "Defensemen" are behind the forwards and...get this...play Defense. In specialty areas, you have Snipers who take accurate shots from all areas of the ice, "Stay At Home Defensemen" who aren't especially adept at rushing up the ice, but do a better job keeping the opponents form scoring, "Power Forwards" who move forward with speed and physicality, and "Enforcers" who ensure the game is played on your team's terms.

It really makes much more sense.


NHL Season starts Saturday, folks!