My Idea, I Get To Judge

Congressional rules of order need to be replaced with the rules of “The Gong Show”


Oh come on, Jeremy.  Two consecutive days of political rants?


First of all, it's the most important thing happening today.  Second of all, Friday and monday are not consecutive days, and third...instead of a rant, I'll assume everyone knows what's going on in politics and just submit my newest Genius Idea for your perusal.


I'll accept your compromise.


See, congress?  It's not that frickin' hard!  Morons.

Anyway...rules of order are important and necessary to ensure civility in certain proceedings.  They make sure that people get appropriate chances to speak and be heard, make clear what proposals are being voted on and who's responsible for them.  Rules of Order make sure that everything that is happening in a particular meeting is fair and above board.  I'm not entirely sure what rules the US Congress uses to maintain order, if I had to guess, I would say they use "Robert's Rules of Order" since those seem to be the gold standard, but regardless...they leave some loopholes.  

When things like Ted Cruz's recitation of "Green Eggs and Ham" are allowed to occur while I'm paying for it, there is room for improvement.  I don't think there needs to be a drastic overhaul of the proceedings, but one minor adjustment should solve all of our issues.  A Gong! 

Situated up in the balcony where everyone can see it, a large gong with a series of three judges (one Democrat, one Republican, and one independent, until a viable third party emerges) sit by to monitor the meeting.  When a speaker goes too far off track, starts reading from children's books, make a blatantly inaccurate statement of fact, or engages in party-line rhetoric without supporting substance, one of the panel members may sound the gong, and the speaker's floor time is immediately revoked.  The following speaker must then be from the opposite political party.  

I don't see how this wouldn't make things tremendously better.

It's very much like having a real-time third-party arbiter to the proceedings.  Pointless partisan diatribes will be a thing of the past.  Nonsensical rhetoric will be not only frowned upon by the constituents and reprimanded by the media, but it will cost an entire political party a kick at whatever can is being debated at any given time.  It will no longer be in anyone's best interests to spread falsehoods and hyperbole on the floor of Congress.  They will be on constant guard to ensure that they are spending the people's time and the people's tax money actually accomplishing the people's business.  On top of that, it would make the meetings so much more entertaining to watch, the entire gallery of visitors waiting with anxious anticipation for somebody to slip up and get Gonged.  Cheers will erupt through the halls of the chamber when it happens.  Public shaming and sound policy.  What more could we possibly ask for from our elected officials?