I Pick "Upset" Over "Man O' War"

Pick Jeremy’s 12-5 Upset!  Oregon, Ole’ Miss, Akron, or California. Vote now!!!

Welcome, everybody!  It's Jeremy's annual chance to show off everything he knows about college basketball.  Fortunately for the rest of us, I'm here to help this explanation to be more than two sentences long.  

It's March Madness time again!  Time for all of us to make completely arbitrary picks on a 64-team bracket based on "information" we supposedly know about teams.  Really, though...we're all just tossing darts in the dark.  If you can confidently say otherwise, you're a sociopathic liar and/or should get a job as a sports analyst on one of the 24-hour sports networks.  

Of course, none of this stops us from putting pen to paper and creating our own bracket and, more importantly, talking trash about other people's brackets.  So, to make your bracket picking easier, I'm going to offer you everything I've learned about college squeekball over the years of making picks.

• No #16 seed has EVER beaten a #1 seed in the history of the tournament.  (In it's current format)  First thing to do when making a bracket is to immediately put all of the #1 seeds into the second round.  
• The #5 seed is cursed.  The #5vs#12 matchup is a statistical outlier in terms of upset percentage.  Basically, what this means is that a #12 seed ALWAYS beats a #5 seed somewhere in the bracket.  In fact, the #12 seed wins more often than the #11 seed. 

That's it.  That's all I know about the upcoming tournament, except for the fact that the Midwest region of the bracket is tough to predict because in every matchup, both teams have the ability to "score the basketball."  This is what I learned watching the sociopathic liar who got a job as a sports analyst on ESPN.  So you see what I mean about getting a job there...it doesn't seem to be all that difficult.

Anyway...I'll be filling out my completely nonsensical bracket tomorrow, so get your votes in now!  Pick Jeremy's 12-5 Upset!