What Did The Five Fingers Say To The Face?

“It’s sad to think that kids today will grow up thinking that a Pop Tart is a better fake phone than a banana.”  - Actual Work Conversation

Your job must be incredibly dull if you just sit around and talk about this crap all day.

Well, this was just a lunch conversation, but it does happen more often than would probably be considered "normal."   

So, we all know the time-honored tradition of holding a fist up to the side of your head with your thumb and pinky fingers extended toward your ear and mouth, respectively.  This is meant to symbolize a telephone receiver, with the thumb representing the speaker, and the pinky mimicking the microphone.  Everyone knows what this means.  

The Banana Phone is a similar concept which is also highly recognizable, and Even Has Its Own Obnoxious Song.  One end of the banana is inserted into the ear, while the other end is positioned near the mouth to provide the appearance of talking on the phone.  This is all well and good.

Here's the problem:  Phones don't look like that anymore. 

83% of all phones now resemble a Black Rectangle, perhaps with a colorful skin on the back.  The iconic image of the receiver with two ends has really lost its place in the world and needs to be replaced.  A Pop Tart does, in fact, make a much better phone analog now than a banana.  I would also recommend replacing the thumb-pinky gesture with that of the open palm of the hand, with all fingers extended and pressed together.  Sure, at first, it might look to the uneducated as if you're slapping yourself in the face extremely slowly, but it will catch on eventually.  You just need to make sure you're ahead of the curve.  You are welcome.