They Cancelled "Apartment 23" For This?

I recently learned that “Celebrity Diving” is going to be a TV show soon.  I may weep openly

You know it's going to be better than any "Real Housewives" show, or any of the shows with anyone named Snooki or Kardashian.  

Unfortunately, that's merely ONE of the sad parts about this upcoming travesty of entertainment.  

See, networks come up with all of their best ideas for new shows in the fall.  As with everything network execs think is a good idea, a good number of them suck ferociously and end up being cancelled before the first season is even allowed to finish.  Based on a source, here is an anything-but-comprehensive list of shows that were new in the fall and have already bitten the dust: 666 Park Avenue, Last Resort, Made In Jersey, Partners, The Mob Doctor, Emily Owens, M.D., and for the love of all things good and plenty, I can't figure out why Whitney is still on the air.  We're only in January, kids.  

This type of turnover leads to multiple disatserpieces known as "Mid-Season Replacements" in which shows that weren't good enough to crack the lineup, despite how blatantly atrocious the original shows were, are put into the starting rotation to bridge the gap until summer reruns.  Occasionally this works out well for the networks, as these new shows become hits.  The Office, Grey's Anatomy, 3rd Rock From The Sun, Married With Children, All In The Family, Dallas, Seinfeld, and Happy Days all started their runs as mid-season replacements.  As well as a little show that you may have heard of that is only the longest-running series on television called The Simpsons.  Of course, these are the exceptions, and what we usually get around this time of year is crap.  

Among this year's lineup of replacement crap is yet another new celebrity reality show based on some sort of physical activity.  We already have Dancing With The Stars, and Skating with the Stars, Celebrity Apprentice, Celebrity Fit Club, Celebrity Rehab, , I Get That A Lot, Celebrity Death Match (Wait, what?), and Celebrity Ghost Stories, so why not take this concept into the world of Olympic high-diving?  That's right...a lineup of middling celebrities who need more TV exposure to satisfy their egos and stoke their fading careers are going to team up with Greg Louganis and make a show about diving.  Diving.  

I'll say it one more time so that this really sinks in......DIVING!!!!

I really wish I could tell you that I'm making this up, but I'm Unfortunately Not.  Yes...Celebrity Diving will feature such A-List celebrities as Kareem Abdul Jabbar, Katherine Webb (who has done nothing to be famous short of being ogled by Brent Musburger), and Rudy Huxtable herself, Keshia Knight Pulliam.  Here's your "Feel Old" moment for the day...The Cosby Show went off the air 21 years ago.  That's how long it's been since Keshia Knight Pulliam has been even remotely relevant.  

I guess the saving grace of this show is the higher than normal probability for humiliating failure and injury to befall the contestants.  I'd be more than happy to watch Louie Anderson (Yes, he's a contestant) attempt a front 1 1/2 only to under-rotate into a spectacular tsunami-inducing belly-flop.  There's just no way in creation I'm going to sit around and watch this garbage for half an hour waiting for it.  It will show up on Youtube soon enough.