Seriously...nobody

Nobody believes that the deaths of entire flocks of birds were caused by "trauma"


Many of you are probably aware of the mass bird deaths that have occurred this week in Arkansas and Louisiana. If not, feel free to check out the Mass Media Report of the events. But, be prepared to draw your own conclusions.


Early reports are coming up with some pretty half-baked theories about how thousands of birds died spontaneously and all within a small time and location. One of my favorites claims that New Year's fireworks exploding nearby disoriented the birds, causing them all to panic and fly into each other en masse. A laughable claim for those of us who know better.

Clearly, there can only be two possible explanations for this phenomenon. The first, of course, is aliens. A large alien spacecraft came to earth in these locations, knocking birds out of the way, since it moved more quickly than they could anticipate.

The second, and more likely conclusion that most of you have already come to, is Bird Flu. This pandemic outbreak could easily cause the deaths of thousands of birds in a remarkably short amount of time.

The only question that remains is, with only two logical explanations, why is the truth being covered up, and who stands to gain from the public not being made aware of the actual events. I wish I had answers for you, my friends...but all I can do today is wait with you until the truth is revealed.