"I hear a mountain lion! I gotta get back to my house and you better get to your car!" – Birdemic: Shock and Terror
For the record, Jeremy is NOT MAKING THIS MOVIE UP. Nor is he making up the fact that There's Going To Be A Sequel. Hollywood should be ashamed of itself.
Just because a movie is bad doesn't make it bad.
Yeah, that made no sense. Start over.
Some people love to watch truly horrible movies for the sheer entertainment value. Such films, like "Plan 9 From Outer Space", or "Manos: The Hands Of Fate" or anything starring Nicolas Cage are referred to as "Cult Classics" because of the relatively small band of typically rabid fans of that particular genre. Personally, I love ridiculously bad movies (though not anything with Nicolas Cage), and have wasted many hours watching pure cinematic drivel.
As an aside, because of everything mentioned above, I was alerted to the Trailer For Nicolas Cage's New Movie which features "acting" and "dialog" which can't possibly be described using words with a positive connotation. How does this slop end up in theaters?
Anyway...the more important topic here is that this conversation prompted me to review my DVD queue for the video rental company we'll refer to in the Blag as "Internet Flickershows." I was pleased to discover that a DVD release date was now available for one of the "B" movies I put in my Queue. That being "Birdemic: Shock and Terror." Do yourself a favor and Watch The Trailer For This Film Too. Be careful, though...you'll be laughing so hard, you may injure something. Today's Sametime Status comes from the "Memorable Quotes" section of this movie. I can't want to see it!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
It could be tragic
Tonight's Agenda: Make Chili and Clean the bathroom. Probably in that order
And just like that, another edition of Jeremy Is In The Office goes right down the pan.
Well, it's not all bad. My Sametime Status today is also a piece of social commentary about people who use social media to update everybody who will listen (willingly or not) to the most mundane trivialities of their lives.
I don't care what you're making for dinner, or if you're just sitting around waiting for your honey to come home. Stop posting this crap! Also, unsubscribe to whatever stupid thing is posting how sexy your name is every frigging day. Not only is it complete and utter nonsense, but it changes every time! It can't even get its own logic right.
Social networking sucks sometimes.
You're also making a joke about how you could potentially be making chili with bathroom-contaminated hands. That's pretty funny for whoever has to eat your chili.
Oh yeah...I suppose that was the original point.
And just like that, another edition of Jeremy Is In The Office goes right down the pan.
Well, it's not all bad. My Sametime Status today is also a piece of social commentary about people who use social media to update everybody who will listen (willingly or not) to the most mundane trivialities of their lives.
I don't care what you're making for dinner, or if you're just sitting around waiting for your honey to come home. Stop posting this crap! Also, unsubscribe to whatever stupid thing is posting how sexy your name is every frigging day. Not only is it complete and utter nonsense, but it changes every time! It can't even get its own logic right.
Social networking sucks sometimes.
You're also making a joke about how you could potentially be making chili with bathroom-contaminated hands. That's pretty funny for whoever has to eat your chili.
Oh yeah...I suppose that was the original point.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
He is Wayne!
Happy Belated Birthday, Wayne!
It's probably okay. I doubt he's reading.
I still feel bad that I missed his birthday...it was an important one.
Anyway...for those who are not aware, yesterday was Wayne "The Great One" Gretzky's 50th birthday.
Evil Jeremy will still ask who Wayne Gretzky is, so I'll add that Wayne basically owns the record book when it comes to the NHL scoring leaders. Having amassed a seemingly insurmountable 2857 points in his NHL career, if he had never scored a single goal, he would still be the NHL's all-time leading scorer, with 76 more points than Mark Messier's 1887. Oh...and he did it in 5 fewer seasons than Messier played too. That's ridiculous.
To celebrate his 50th birthday (one day late), HERE'S A VIDEO of Gretzky making the hockey world look silly...over and over. Enjoy!
It's probably okay. I doubt he's reading.
I still feel bad that I missed his birthday...it was an important one.
Anyway...for those who are not aware, yesterday was Wayne "The Great One" Gretzky's 50th birthday.
Evil Jeremy will still ask who Wayne Gretzky is, so I'll add that Wayne basically owns the record book when it comes to the NHL scoring leaders. Having amassed a seemingly insurmountable 2857 points in his NHL career, if he had never scored a single goal, he would still be the NHL's all-time leading scorer, with 76 more points than Mark Messier's 1887. Oh...and he did it in 5 fewer seasons than Messier played too. That's ridiculous.
To celebrate his 50th birthday (one day late), HERE'S A VIDEO of Gretzky making the hockey world look silly...over and over. Enjoy!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
I'm not alone
What do we have to bribe Italy with to let us keep the Jersey Shore cast over there permanently? I'll chip in.
So for those who haven't heard or cared, Season 4 of MTV's "Jersey Shore" is being filmed in Italy...according to CNN, "the birthplace of the culture they love and live by." No word on a pending lawsuit by the government of Italy against CNN for that comment.
I've given this matter more attention than it deserves already. Have a nice day.
So for those who haven't heard or cared, Season 4 of MTV's "Jersey Shore" is being filmed in Italy...according to CNN, "the birthplace of the culture they love and live by." No word on a pending lawsuit by the government of Italy against CNN for that comment.
I've given this matter more attention than it deserves already. Have a nice day.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Where's the nerds table?
Wondering who I should sit next to at the State of the Union Address...
Wait a second. Didn't you have your rare moment of political punditry yesterday? This looks like a disturbing trend in Blag content.
I know, I know...I did politics yesterday, but today's topic was too important to not include in a Sametime Status. Also, since it's time-sensitive, I couldn't hold off on running it.
So, for those who are not aware, tonight is the President's annual State of the Union Address. (I saved you all the effort, HERE ARE THE RULES TO THIS YEAR'S SOTU DRINKING GAME.) The SOTU address really never changes. The President says approximately 6 words before being interrupted by ravenous applause from half of the assembled congregation. The remaining half of the audience sits there with scowls on their faces, because the way politics works nowadays is that you're either with our political party, or your a horrible person intent on world domination which will ultimately lead to the destruction of everything we hold dear. Why this happens is beyond me, since neither party has even remotely managed to get it right just yet, but that's beside my point. The simple fact that our elected leaders can be so petty about being so polarized is really quite remarkable...and not in a good way.
So, in an attempt to deceive the public about the childish nature of Congress, the elected members of congress have decided to not sit by political party this year (Republicans on the right, Democrats on the left, and Independents standing in the corner, facing the wall wearing paper cone hats), but to Bring A Date From The Opposite Party to sit with. I really wish I was making this up.
As much as turning this into a news story is the lamest bit of political journalism since the breaking story that was the type of beer served at the Infamous Beer Summit of 2009, it really is somewhat newsworthy, if only for sheer irony. These are the same people who haven't managed to work together on anything since the mesozoic era, relying exclusively on majority rule to pass policy, and now we're supposed to believe that by sitting mixed together, they're going to agree on whether or not something in the President's speech was good? I call bunk! Mere minutes after the President is done speaking, there will be the Response speech by a member of the other party, which will say that everything the President just said was a lie, that the opposition's party is the way to go, and that Billy was smoking behind the dumpster during recess.
Mere days after the speech, all of this facade of bipartisanship will once again vanish with nary a trace. In the case of 2010, the Republicans in the House will vote to on a bill to repeal the health care bill (which, by the way, has precisely zero percent chance of passing into law...so what is this besides a symbolic waste of their time and my money?) simply because it was initially passed by the other party, and thus business will return to usual. So what is it about sitting next to somebody that is supposed to make be truly believe that for once, the elected leaders have my best interests in mind, rather than their own? It's absolutely nothing more than a symbolic attempt at distraction from the fact that they have no prayer of working together to make life better for us all. The fact that they can't work together is pathetic and embarrassing, but that they think they can hide that fact from everyone though a special one-time only seating arrangement is patronizing and insulting.
Wait a second. Didn't you have your rare moment of political punditry yesterday? This looks like a disturbing trend in Blag content.
I know, I know...I did politics yesterday, but today's topic was too important to not include in a Sametime Status. Also, since it's time-sensitive, I couldn't hold off on running it.
So, for those who are not aware, tonight is the President's annual State of the Union Address. (I saved you all the effort, HERE ARE THE RULES TO THIS YEAR'S SOTU DRINKING GAME.) The SOTU address really never changes. The President says approximately 6 words before being interrupted by ravenous applause from half of the assembled congregation. The remaining half of the audience sits there with scowls on their faces, because the way politics works nowadays is that you're either with our political party, or your a horrible person intent on world domination which will ultimately lead to the destruction of everything we hold dear. Why this happens is beyond me, since neither party has even remotely managed to get it right just yet, but that's beside my point. The simple fact that our elected leaders can be so petty about being so polarized is really quite remarkable...and not in a good way.
So, in an attempt to deceive the public about the childish nature of Congress, the elected members of congress have decided to not sit by political party this year (Republicans on the right, Democrats on the left, and Independents standing in the corner, facing the wall wearing paper cone hats), but to Bring A Date From The Opposite Party to sit with. I really wish I was making this up.
As much as turning this into a news story is the lamest bit of political journalism since the breaking story that was the type of beer served at the Infamous Beer Summit of 2009, it really is somewhat newsworthy, if only for sheer irony. These are the same people who haven't managed to work together on anything since the mesozoic era, relying exclusively on majority rule to pass policy, and now we're supposed to believe that by sitting mixed together, they're going to agree on whether or not something in the President's speech was good? I call bunk! Mere minutes after the President is done speaking, there will be the Response speech by a member of the other party, which will say that everything the President just said was a lie, that the opposition's party is the way to go, and that Billy was smoking behind the dumpster during recess.
Mere days after the speech, all of this facade of bipartisanship will once again vanish with nary a trace. In the case of 2010, the Republicans in the House will vote to on a bill to repeal the health care bill (which, by the way, has precisely zero percent chance of passing into law...so what is this besides a symbolic waste of their time and my money?) simply because it was initially passed by the other party, and thus business will return to usual. So what is it about sitting next to somebody that is supposed to make be truly believe that for once, the elected leaders have my best interests in mind, rather than their own? It's absolutely nothing more than a symbolic attempt at distraction from the fact that they have no prayer of working together to make life better for us all. The fact that they can't work together is pathetic and embarrassing, but that they think they can hide that fact from everyone though a special one-time only seating arrangement is patronizing and insulting.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Where's a drum set when you need one?
It's so cold, Sarah Palin thinks she can see Russia from my back yard
Bah dum, ching! Jeremy's here all week. Tip your waitress!
Thank you, thank you. This is my moment of dry political punditry for the year while also reminding everyone that the northeast is frickin' cold today. That's a technical term, by the way. In case you're not aware, the temperature at home this morning was a balmy -12F (-24.5C). That is officially absurd, so as long as we're making absurd, misguided, weather related political jokes, Al Gore can bite me.
Before we get letters, please understand that Jeremy does in fact understand that Global Climate Change doesn't mean universally warmer temperatures, and that Sarah Palin never actually said she can see Russia from her back yard in Alaska.
Really? You're going to take all my fun?
Somebody had to...may as well be your alter ego.
Bah dum, ching! Jeremy's here all week. Tip your waitress!
Thank you, thank you. This is my moment of dry political punditry for the year while also reminding everyone that the northeast is frickin' cold today. That's a technical term, by the way. In case you're not aware, the temperature at home this morning was a balmy -12F (-24.5C). That is officially absurd, so as long as we're making absurd, misguided, weather related political jokes, Al Gore can bite me.
Before we get letters, please understand that Jeremy does in fact understand that Global Climate Change doesn't mean universally warmer temperatures, and that Sarah Palin never actually said she can see Russia from her back yard in Alaska.
Really? You're going to take all my fun?
Somebody had to...may as well be your alter ego.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
There was no Blag back then
Today’s date would have been interesting in Europe 10 years ago: 20/01/2001. It only happens once every 973,000 years!
That's so far beyond a stretch, it's kinda funny.
That's the idea. There was one of these stupid things not long ago where somebody pointed out that the date was a palindrome or something and it won't happen again for another 10,00 years or so. These are nonsense.
Depending on how you write the date, what information you include, and what you find interesting, you can come up with some silly pattern that won't happen for another 50,000 years pretty easily. Take today's for example. It only works if you use the more sensible European method of writing the date, in that the day comes first. That way, you're going in increasing order of time. Days are shorter than months, which are shorter than years, so it's more precisely broken down by saying today is the 20th of January, 2011. As such, 10 years ago, today would have been 20/01/2001...which is 2001 written twice...unless of course you leave out the leading zero in the day, which most people do, or leave out the 20 in the year, which happens quite often too. So you could effectively write the date 20/1/2001 which isn't noteworthy, or 20/1/01 which is even less noteworthy.
My point, of course, is that you can find a pattern in numbers just about anywhere if you look hard enough...and the fact that the very specific one you found won't happen for another 3200 years is worthless, since some other goofy pattern will show up in a couple days.
That's so far beyond a stretch, it's kinda funny.
That's the idea. There was one of these stupid things not long ago where somebody pointed out that the date was a palindrome or something and it won't happen again for another 10,00 years or so. These are nonsense.
Depending on how you write the date, what information you include, and what you find interesting, you can come up with some silly pattern that won't happen for another 50,000 years pretty easily. Take today's for example. It only works if you use the more sensible European method of writing the date, in that the day comes first. That way, you're going in increasing order of time. Days are shorter than months, which are shorter than years, so it's more precisely broken down by saying today is the 20th of January, 2011. As such, 10 years ago, today would have been 20/01/2001...which is 2001 written twice...unless of course you leave out the leading zero in the day, which most people do, or leave out the 20 in the year, which happens quite often too. So you could effectively write the date 20/1/2001 which isn't noteworthy, or 20/1/01 which is even less noteworthy.
My point, of course, is that you can find a pattern in numbers just about anywhere if you look hard enough...and the fact that the very specific one you found won't happen for another 3200 years is worthless, since some other goofy pattern will show up in a couple days.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Took long enough...
Finally! Someone finally stumbled on a way to make John Williams’s music good!
Oh boy...another libel lawsuit coming?
You're not used to those by now?
I'll prepare the papers.
So, as an entertainer, I believe in catch phrases. They're useful and fun, especially when others catch on to them. One of my personal favorites involves composer John Williams, of which I'll occasionally note, "John Williams is a no-talent hack who's never written a piece of music in his life. There is Plenty of Evidence to Back Me Up on this.
Anyway, in true John Williams fashion, somebody out there on the Internetz has come up with a way to improve his music into something worth listening to. The secret is simple...slow it down to 10% of it's original speed. This way, the score just turns into a sort of new-age ambient music that's actually very pleasant, and less resembles the actual works of art that Williams "borrow" from to create his work.
Here is Jurassic Park at 1/10 speed. Enjoy!
Oh boy...another libel lawsuit coming?
You're not used to those by now?
I'll prepare the papers.
So, as an entertainer, I believe in catch phrases. They're useful and fun, especially when others catch on to them. One of my personal favorites involves composer John Williams, of which I'll occasionally note, "John Williams is a no-talent hack who's never written a piece of music in his life. There is Plenty of Evidence to Back Me Up on this.
Anyway, in true John Williams fashion, somebody out there on the Internetz has come up with a way to improve his music into something worth listening to. The secret is simple...slow it down to 10% of it's original speed. This way, the score just turns into a sort of new-age ambient music that's actually very pleasant, and less resembles the actual works of art that Williams "borrow" from to create his work.
Here is Jurassic Park at 1/10 speed. Enjoy!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Or freezing rain
Well...I did tell the Snow to go away. Guess I didn’t specifically mention sleet.
You can't win them all.
Winter sucks.
I've officially had enough of shoveling snow and driving through snow and looking at snow and whatever else it is that often happens with snow. I'm ready for spring to hope eternal.
Anyway...last week, when we got about a foot of snow and I was working from home, I posted a Sametime Status that said "Snow, Snow, go away...come back roughly never." It didn't make it to Blag form because nobody was at work anyway, so I didn't bother. It happens.
Anyway, it seems I wasn't specific enough and Mother Nature decided to be a jerk. Today, we're blessed with snow, sleet, freezing rain, rain, slush, and all sorts of other crap that the weather people dub "wintery mix." Lovely.
You can't win them all.
Winter sucks.
I've officially had enough of shoveling snow and driving through snow and looking at snow and whatever else it is that often happens with snow. I'm ready for spring to hope eternal.
Anyway...last week, when we got about a foot of snow and I was working from home, I posted a Sametime Status that said "Snow, Snow, go away...come back roughly never." It didn't make it to Blag form because nobody was at work anyway, so I didn't bother. It happens.
Anyway, it seems I wasn't specific enough and Mother Nature decided to be a jerk. Today, we're blessed with snow, sleet, freezing rain, rain, slush, and all sorts of other crap that the weather people dub "wintery mix." Lovely.
Monday, January 17, 2011
I could be a millionaire by now
Very ironically, I forgot what I dreamt about last night
Maybe it had something to do with why the Blag's host software doesn't have the word "dreamt" in it's spellchecker.
That could be...those little red squiggles are getting to be distracting, but this is another one of my Mitch Hedberg moments.
You got an ant farm?
Mitch did a bit one time about how as a comedian, he writes jokes for a living, so every time he thinks of something funny, he writes it down. Of course, if the pen is too far away, he has to convince himself that whatever he thought of wasn't funny. I do this fairly often, but not always with jokes. I've had songs, jokes, screenplays, sitcom episodes and whatnot go through my head at various intervals, most of which happen when I'm nowhere near a computer, pen, piano, or consciousness. In this particular case, it was when I was asleep...I dreamt about something pretty entertaining, and I'm reasonably certain it was a sitcom episode. Either way, by the time I woke up, it was gone, so I've once again only managed to entertain myself.
Sorta like what you're doing right now.
I just find it amusing that this happened again on Martin Luther King day. King, of course, being the deliverer of the famous "I Have A Dream" speech. So while most of you probably have the day off, I'll be at work lamenting the forgetting of my dream. Oh well. His was better.
Maybe it had something to do with why the Blag's host software doesn't have the word "dreamt" in it's spellchecker.
That could be...those little red squiggles are getting to be distracting, but this is another one of my Mitch Hedberg moments.
You got an ant farm?
Mitch did a bit one time about how as a comedian, he writes jokes for a living, so every time he thinks of something funny, he writes it down. Of course, if the pen is too far away, he has to convince himself that whatever he thought of wasn't funny. I do this fairly often, but not always with jokes. I've had songs, jokes, screenplays, sitcom episodes and whatnot go through my head at various intervals, most of which happen when I'm nowhere near a computer, pen, piano, or consciousness. In this particular case, it was when I was asleep...I dreamt about something pretty entertaining, and I'm reasonably certain it was a sitcom episode. Either way, by the time I woke up, it was gone, so I've once again only managed to entertain myself.
Sorta like what you're doing right now.
I just find it amusing that this happened again on Martin Luther King day. King, of course, being the deliverer of the famous "I Have A Dream" speech. So while most of you probably have the day off, I'll be at work lamenting the forgetting of my dream. Oh well. His was better.
Friday, January 14, 2011
People are actually concerned about this
My sign changed from "Aries" to "No Parking"
The Red Zone is for loading and unloading passengers only. There is no parking in the Red Zone.
So if you haven't noticed, there's been a news report going around that the astrological signs are off by a month or so, plus whoever "they" are have added a 13th sign, "Ophiuchus." This has actually caused widespread panic among people who believe in this sort of nonsense, particularly those who...and I wish I was making this up...have tattooed their astrological sign on their body.
Those of you who believe that the sun's position, relative to ancient arbitrarily defined constellations, has an effect on your life should refer to This News Article for an update on what your new sign is and how to adjust your personality accordingly.
The rest of you who don't give a rat's posterior about this crap can take a little solace in the fact that scientists have created a Genetically Modified Chicken that Will Not Spread Bird Flu. Of course, the down side of this right now is that the chicken is no longer fit to eat, so the entire point of having it is somewhat lost. However, it is a glimmer of hope in the perpetually dark world of the War on Bird Flu.
The Red Zone is for loading and unloading passengers only. There is no parking in the Red Zone.
So if you haven't noticed, there's been a news report going around that the astrological signs are off by a month or so, plus whoever "they" are have added a 13th sign, "Ophiuchus." This has actually caused widespread panic among people who believe in this sort of nonsense, particularly those who...and I wish I was making this up...have tattooed their astrological sign on their body.
Those of you who believe that the sun's position, relative to ancient arbitrarily defined constellations, has an effect on your life should refer to This News Article for an update on what your new sign is and how to adjust your personality accordingly.
The rest of you who don't give a rat's posterior about this crap can take a little solace in the fact that scientists have created a Genetically Modified Chicken that Will Not Spread Bird Flu. Of course, the down side of this right now is that the chicken is no longer fit to eat, so the entire point of having it is somewhat lost. However, it is a glimmer of hope in the perpetually dark world of the War on Bird Flu.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Honest....no idea
For some strange reason, I have the theme song to The Smurfs stuck in my head today
"Some strange reason"?
Yep...no idea what that's all about.
I call Bunk.
Strangely enough, that's the name of my new game show. I think it's a brilliant idea!
Either way, we're just not going to get a straight answer out of you today, are we?
I thought you just did...
"Some strange reason"?
Yep...no idea what that's all about.
I call Bunk.
Strangely enough, that's the name of my new game show. I think it's a brilliant idea!
Either way, we're just not going to get a straight answer out of you today, are we?
I thought you just did...
Monday, January 10, 2011
When will people learn?
Nicolas Cage does it again!
Jeremy's favourite hack splatters himself all over the silver screen again, this time in the sci-fi action mystery sort of picture, "Season Of The Witch." Jeremy will be pleased to know that it's slagging along well into the single-digit territory on Rotten Tomatoes, up from a startling 1% on Saturday.
I think Rotten Tomatoes is padding the stats a little bit. When a reviewer (Mike Ward of Richmond.com) includes the line, "It will probably be the worst reviewed movie of the year," and this is considered by Rotten Tomatoes to be a favorable review, you know you're in for it. Those of us who have borne witness to (read: Wasted your life on) more than one Nicolas Cage move over the years shouldn't be surprised by this latest travesty of cinema brought to you by the name synonymous with "hack."
You're reviewing a movie you haven't even seen.
Is that important?
Most people would think so.
Oh well. I'm not wasting $10 on this schlock. This has been another edition of Jeremy Is In The Theatre.
Or out of the Theatre, as the case may be...
Jeremy's favourite hack splatters himself all over the silver screen again, this time in the sci-fi action mystery sort of picture, "Season Of The Witch." Jeremy will be pleased to know that it's slagging along well into the single-digit territory on Rotten Tomatoes, up from a startling 1% on Saturday.
I think Rotten Tomatoes is padding the stats a little bit. When a reviewer (Mike Ward of Richmond.com) includes the line, "It will probably be the worst reviewed movie of the year," and this is considered by Rotten Tomatoes to be a favorable review, you know you're in for it. Those of us who have borne witness to (read: Wasted your life on) more than one Nicolas Cage move over the years shouldn't be surprised by this latest travesty of cinema brought to you by the name synonymous with "hack."
You're reviewing a movie you haven't even seen.
Is that important?
Most people would think so.
Oh well. I'm not wasting $10 on this schlock. This has been another edition of Jeremy Is In The Theatre.
Or out of the Theatre, as the case may be...
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Blagging for Better Living
Cast iron skillets don’t have the type of handle that stays cool on the stove
What was your first clue?
The fact that it's made of the exact same piece of material which has a pretty high level of heat conductance.
Nerd.
So not long ago, I decided to try my hand at pan-seared steak...
More like FRY your hand at pan-seared steak! I'm here all week, tip your waitress!
...and while it wasn't a culinary disaster, I still have some learning to do before I can do it properly and enjoy a perfectly cooked steak year-round.
I researched some recipes on the Internetz, and found the proper procedure, which involved pre-heating the skillet in the over at around 450deg F. This makes the entire pan hot. Not just the part on the bottom where the steak goes...the whole frickin' thing. Once the pan is hot, you remove it from the oven (using an oven glove) and set it on the stove's burner at medium-high heat. At this point, you add some olive oil and your steak, and listen to the delicious sizzle. After a minute or so, you flip the steak to sear the other side. It is during this time that one must be careful to not touch the handle of the pan in order to stabilize it while you flip steak. It causes burns on your fingers, which can be pretty annoying. After both sides are seared, finish the steak in the oven at 450 for about 3-5 minutes, depending on taste. Season with cracked pepper and serve.
This helpful cooking tip brought to you by Jeremy Is In The Kitchen
What was your first clue?
The fact that it's made of the exact same piece of material which has a pretty high level of heat conductance.
Nerd.
So not long ago, I decided to try my hand at pan-seared steak...
More like FRY your hand at pan-seared steak! I'm here all week, tip your waitress!
...and while it wasn't a culinary disaster, I still have some learning to do before I can do it properly and enjoy a perfectly cooked steak year-round.
I researched some recipes on the Internetz, and found the proper procedure, which involved pre-heating the skillet in the over at around 450deg F. This makes the entire pan hot. Not just the part on the bottom where the steak goes...the whole frickin' thing. Once the pan is hot, you remove it from the oven (using an oven glove) and set it on the stove's burner at medium-high heat. At this point, you add some olive oil and your steak, and listen to the delicious sizzle. After a minute or so, you flip the steak to sear the other side. It is during this time that one must be careful to not touch the handle of the pan in order to stabilize it while you flip steak. It causes burns on your fingers, which can be pretty annoying. After both sides are seared, finish the steak in the oven at 450 for about 3-5 minutes, depending on taste. Season with cracked pepper and serve.
This helpful cooking tip brought to you by Jeremy Is In The Kitchen
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Seriously...nobody
Nobody believes that the deaths of entire flocks of birds were caused by "trauma"
Many of you are probably aware of the mass bird deaths that have occurred this week in Arkansas and Louisiana. If not, feel free to check out the Mass Media Report of the events. But, be prepared to draw your own conclusions.
Early reports are coming up with some pretty half-baked theories about how thousands of birds died spontaneously and all within a small time and location. One of my favorites claims that New Year's fireworks exploding nearby disoriented the birds, causing them all to panic and fly into each other en masse. A laughable claim for those of us who know better.
Clearly, there can only be two possible explanations for this phenomenon. The first, of course, is aliens. A large alien spacecraft came to earth in these locations, knocking birds out of the way, since it moved more quickly than they could anticipate.
The second, and more likely conclusion that most of you have already come to, is Bird Flu. This pandemic outbreak could easily cause the deaths of thousands of birds in a remarkably short amount of time.
The only question that remains is, with only two logical explanations, why is the truth being covered up, and who stands to gain from the public not being made aware of the actual events. I wish I had answers for you, my friends...but all I can do today is wait with you until the truth is revealed.
Many of you are probably aware of the mass bird deaths that have occurred this week in Arkansas and Louisiana. If not, feel free to check out the Mass Media Report of the events. But, be prepared to draw your own conclusions.
Early reports are coming up with some pretty half-baked theories about how thousands of birds died spontaneously and all within a small time and location. One of my favorites claims that New Year's fireworks exploding nearby disoriented the birds, causing them all to panic and fly into each other en masse. A laughable claim for those of us who know better.
Clearly, there can only be two possible explanations for this phenomenon. The first, of course, is aliens. A large alien spacecraft came to earth in these locations, knocking birds out of the way, since it moved more quickly than they could anticipate.
The second, and more likely conclusion that most of you have already come to, is Bird Flu. This pandemic outbreak could easily cause the deaths of thousands of birds in a remarkably short amount of time.
The only question that remains is, with only two logical explanations, why is the truth being covered up, and who stands to gain from the public not being made aware of the actual events. I wish I had answers for you, my friends...but all I can do today is wait with you until the truth is revealed.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
We're Back!
Happy New Year, from Jeremy's Sametime Status!
Strangely reminiscent of the Sametime Status you had right before you left for vacation.
Well, yes...but it seemed appropriate to greet the readers with a Happy New Year now that the new year has actually started. Now only 5 or 6 months before we get used to writing 2011 in our checkbooks.
People still write checks?
The fine folks who pick up my garbage still haven't embraced the 21st century, so yeah...I still write checks. They're about the only ones, too.
And the person in front of you at the grocery store.
Actually, the person in front of me at the grocery store sat there for a full five minutes arguing that the package of gift bows she bought were on sale for 39 cents, and they rang up, in error, for 59 cents. This after she left the line to run back to the produce section for a bag of potatoes. I really wish I was making any of this up. I actually felt bad for her husband who had to stand there at the end of the register looking back at the glares of the other patrons (I wasn't the only one in line behind this) while his wife walked back through the line to find the sign that showed the price of the bows. The steak I was trying to buy was totally not worth it...but more on that later...
Strangely reminiscent of the Sametime Status you had right before you left for vacation.
Well, yes...but it seemed appropriate to greet the readers with a Happy New Year now that the new year has actually started. Now only 5 or 6 months before we get used to writing 2011 in our checkbooks.
People still write checks?
The fine folks who pick up my garbage still haven't embraced the 21st century, so yeah...I still write checks. They're about the only ones, too.
And the person in front of you at the grocery store.
Actually, the person in front of me at the grocery store sat there for a full five minutes arguing that the package of gift bows she bought were on sale for 39 cents, and they rang up, in error, for 59 cents. This after she left the line to run back to the produce section for a bag of potatoes. I really wish I was making any of this up. I actually felt bad for her husband who had to stand there at the end of the register looking back at the glares of the other patrons (I wasn't the only one in line behind this) while his wife walked back through the line to find the sign that showed the price of the bows. The steak I was trying to buy was totally not worth it...but more on that later...
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