Ladies and Gentlemen. A dastardly plot was enacted over this past weekend, resulting in the kidnapping of Jeremy's volleyball mascot, Murray. Any help you can provide to ensure the safe return of Murray to his rightful place would be much appreciated.
Murray is a symbol of all that is right and pure in the Volleyball world, and to think that somebody would kidnap him to obtain some measure of personal gratification is simply unfathomable. Murray is a mascot not just for myself, but for all who rubbed his head for luck.
Sure, some took his presence as a harbinger of their impending doom, (He has a pretty impressive winning percentage, after all) but any victory obtained through these types of unwholesome methods is the emptiest of victories. So, if you've seen Murray, or have any information about his whereabouts, please contact Jeremy Is In The Office as soon as possible.
Attached, please find a recent photo of Murray in his natural habitat. Photo has been borrowed from a store on the Interwebz.
The loss of Murray is certainly what caused me to not win the volleyball tournament as well as mildly injure my partner. The Wrath of Murray is the volleyball-related suffering that will be dispensed upon the parties responsible for his kidnapping until such time as he is returned. Murray is named after a Demonic Talking Skull, after all. Fair warning.
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