Attention children in the store who are named "Jeremy." Please behave so your parents don’t yell at me. Thank you.
You'd think the days of parents yelling at you in the store would be over by now.
Yes and no. I'm really good at getting my parents to yell at me...though now it's totally a conscious effort and more for everyone's enjoyment than anything else. It usually involves either juggling kiwis in the produce section, or The Skeleton Joke.
Anyway...as happens more often than you might thing, some other parent named their son "Jeremy" and that Jeremy is a jerk.
Yeah...okay...THAT Jeremy.
So not long ago at the grocery store, some jerk named Jeremy was running around the store like a crazy person. This caused his father to yell "Jeremy!" and I instinctively turned around. This is nonsense. This little jerk is giving us Jeremy's a bad reputation.
Like you need help...
So I implore all you youngsters named Jeremy. Just simmer down a bit when you're in the store. I'm sick of getting yelled at for your mischief. If I'm going to get yelled at, it's going to be for my own mischief.
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