Hold this!

In a contract dispute with my Fantasy Baseball Team


Yeah...that rag tag bunch of losers. I'd hold out, too.


My fantasy team is made up of some of the best major leaguers fake money can buy.


Ever notice just how much of your life is fantasy?


That's not important right now. What matters is that Fake Grady Sizemore needs to step up and start producing at the plate.


He's very good at pretending to play defense.


All well and good, but that doesn't translate to fantasy stats. He either needs to shape up or...well....this is the source of my contract dispute. He's on the league's "Can't Cut" list which is normally for the benefit of fair play within leagues. They take the best performing players and make sure that lower-ranked teams can't release them for the top teams to pick up.

The problem is that this fantasy chump is one of the worst performing outfielders in the imaginary game right now, and I'm one of the top teams, so I'm not really sure who would benefit by letting me designate this guy for feigned assignment and pick up a pretend player who's actually doing something this season.