Please support my Sametime Status Petition to ban Playoff Beards.
Other than not looking all that great, I don't really see the issue. In fact, Some Other People seem to like the idea.
Since the Stanley Cup Playoffs get underway tonight, I've decided to take up this issue with today's Sametime Status. I have two issues with Playoff Beards.
1: They don't work.
The simple math of it is that only 6.25% of the NHL teams who grow playoff beards win the Stanley Cup. That is to say, every one of the 16 teams that make the playoffs grows playoff beards, but 15 of them fail in their quest to win. Why bother with a silly superstition that doesn't work 15 out of 16 times? It's kinda like a lucky dance people do at the convenience store when playing the lottery. Yes, I've seen this....it was horrifying.
B: The superstitious nature of it is all out of whack.
In the immortal and edited words of Crash Davis, "Don't [mess] with a winning streak." This is the purpose of Playoff Beards. If you keep the same shirt on, or the same underwear, or don't shave, or wear the same socks...you'll keep winning. Well here's the problem. You got to the playoffs by winning. And while you were doing this, you were changing your shirt, drawers, socks, and you were shaving. So now that you're in the playoffs, the superstition changes?
Well, I'm still growing a Playoff Beard.
Go right ahead...I'll be waiting with a pair of hedge clippers after the Finals.
3 comments:
I think the rule should be that the beard has to be useful in the game, i.e. as a whip, or even as a headquarters for tiny falcons with which to attack the enemy team's eyes. It also need not be a hair beard; perhaps bees, which have offensive capabilities as well as providing a nutritious and tasty snack at halftime.
Absolutely, I'm 100% in favor of banning playoff beards. Although I think the redsox did something in the playoffs where a large percentage of players had a fu manchu thing going on. It was cool because it was unique. If everybody did it then it would suck.
-Judson
I don't mind the beards. But if you are going to grow one grow one. I would love to see two teams on the ice with ZZ Top type beards. As they race down the ice their beards would be flowing behind them like little hair after burners. And wouldn't it be great to see, after a hard check, two players with their beards in tangled together trying to untangled themselves. Now that's hockey.
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