This Is Why I Don't Clean Things!

Anybody can lose a sock in the laundry.  I lose pillow cases!


Good for you, Jeremy.  You've one-upped us all once again.  And as usual, not necessarily for the better.  


I disagree.  I think this shows just how much I'm willing to think outside the box.  That's never a bad thing, right?  

Anyway, recently, it was laundry day in the Jeremy household.  It happens on occasion, when I run out of clothes to wear or need to de-clutter the floor of my room.  It's not unlike my policy on dishes: Use a dish, put it in the dishwasher.  Run out of dishes, run the dishwasher.  It's a very simple system and it works like a champ most of the time.  

So, laundry day often involves bedding, since that stuff apparently gets dirty, too.  So, I follow the usual practice of throwing all of the sheets into the washing machine, then the dryer, then returning them to the bed.  This is surprisingly more efficient than the policy for some clothes...where I take them out of the dryer, and they stay in the laundry basket at the foot of my bed until it's time to do laundry again.  But that's beside the point entirely.  What's important here is that when I put all of the bedding back on the bed, there was a pillow case missing.  

It's also important to note that I have more pillows on my bed than I ever use.  Bedding ensembles nowadays come with far too many pillow cases, forcing you to buy more pillows than you need just so parts of the bedding don't do to waste.  As such, I have two actual pillow pillows, two standard size extra pillows, four decorative throw pillows, and two ludicrously large sham pillows on my bed.  This is nonsense.  All of this crap, with the exception of two standard pillows and one of the extras, spends the bulk of its life on the floor next to the bed, or on the dresser, taking up space.  Of course, since I never use any of it, I also roughly never wash it because it doesn't get dirty.  

So, when I say that one of my pillow cases was missing, I'm referring to one of the only two actually important pillow cases in my life.  And since there's not an infinite amount of space between the bed and the laundry room, and the only thing being washed at the time was bedding, it's remarkable that this pillow case ended up missing.  It took me a full half hour to find the thing, after searching all of the laundry piles, the laundry room, the washer, the dryer, all of the hallway in between the laundry room and the bedroom.  Of course it was under the bed sheet that I had already put back on the bed.  Why wouldn't it be?