If Only I Were Making This Up

There’s too much planning involved in buying bananas  

Uhm...I usually just see bananas in the grocery store and say, "Hey...I think I'll get some bananas."  It's not all that complicated, really.  

Oh, if only the world were so simple.  

So, it's fairly safe to assume that I like bananas.  Not quite as much as Some Others Do, but I like them.  They are my primary means of breakfast because they're easy, portable, and quick.  Most days, you will find me walking into work carrying my laptop bag, my ID badge, and a banana.  As such, I have to make sure that there is a stable supply of bananas at home from which to choose.  

I tend to go grocery shopping generally once per week, give or take.  At that time, I need to have quite a bit of information.  I need to have a thorough understanding of my current banana inventory level at home, my number of work days in between that day and the next expected trip to the grocery store, any alternate breakfast plans, and if there is a weekend involved.  Weekends are a wildcard.  Sometimes, I will treat myself to a more substantial breakfast like pancakes or eggs, which do not involve a banana.  Other times, I learn how to make Banana Nutella French Toast, which as the name implies, does involve a banana.  If I'm scheduled to play a volleyball tournament, that throws even more chaos into the mix, because that involves an indeterminate number of bananas, depending on the availability of other foods, and whether my team makes the playoffs or not.  

Taking all of this stuff into account, I select the bunch of bananas which meets all of my needs.  Not only in quantity, but in size and preferred level of ripeness, which also takes length of banana ownership into account.  After all, there's no sense buying bananas which will be ripe in 5 days if you're going to eat them in 2.  

So, in order to buy bananas, I have to do all of this planning and calculating, which is way too much work for breakfast.  Incidentally, I need to go to the grocery store tomorrow, because I only have one banana left at home.