This Just In

I feel like I should set up a news conference to announce that I’m not running for president

It's okay, nobody would vote for you anyway.  

If I were elected president, I couldn't write this Blag anymore.

Vote Jeremy, everybody!  

 So, here we are, a mere year and a half away from the 2016 Presidential Election, and just about every day, a new contender throws his or her hat into the ring to run for president.  The following is what I think I've found to be the latest list of people who have officially declared their candidacy:  Carson, Clinton, Cruz, Fiorina, Graham, Huckabee, O'Malley, Pataki, Paul, Rubio, Sanders, Santorum.  We should also include the following list of people who probably will be jumping into the Electoral Clown Car, but haven't actually announced yet because they're waiting their turn in line: Bush, Chafee, Christie, Jindal, Kasich, Perry, Walker, Webb.  

This is nonsense. 

Granted, this list includes everyone who is a serious candidate, some who are fringe candidates, and those who are only saying they're running so they can sell books later on.  I didn't discriminate when posting it here.  I also put them in alphabetical order, so there is no appearance of favoritism.  I should probably add Mickey Mouse in there, because the way this list is shaping up, he's going to get an awful lot of write-in votes.  

Did I mention that we're a year and a half away from the election?  

So, despite the pleas from my legions of fans...

One of Jeremy's coworkers.

I have decided that it is not yet my time to run for president.  I should some day, since I am a genius after all, but not yet.  The field is already a little too crowded, and people haven't had enough time to dig up enough dirt on my to go properly mudslinging.  I need to go be involved in a scandal or two first, but at the very least, that would be lucrative!  See you in 2020!