Bat Signal Is Also Acceptable

If somebody sent me a message via carrier pigeon, I would totally respond because...come on!  Carrier Pigeon!  

So you got my message then?  Good.  I was worried about how Polly made out with it.  

Not long ago, I got a message from an acquaintance on the popular social networking site, "Facebook."  Perhaps you've heard of it.  Anyway, I didn't respond because I just didn't respond...didn't think it was a big deal.  I was accosted later in person for not having replied to the message.  This annoyed me, and also made me think.  It made me realize that I basically never respond to anything on Facebook, rarely post anything on Facebook, and don't spend my entire day liking everybody else's stuff on Facebook.  Basically, Facebook has been made to suck.  At first, it was a collection of people who had .edu email addresses, so it was a great way for college students to find each other, share experiences, and reconnect with old friends.  That was a very nice month and a half.  Then, the entirety of the Internets descended upon Facebook and turned it into the vast wasteland of flotsam that it is today.  No, I don't care what you're making for dinner, or how funny you think it is that you're "waiting for hubby to get home."  I don't want to play with your farm, or do whatever it is you're doing on your safari of bubbles.  I don't care about your mafia war, your mouse trap, the 1300 pictures of your child that you haven't had time to post in the last three weeks (By the way...I'm not making that one up, or exaggerating it in any way.  Seriously...1300), or that picture with a caption on it you find so incredibly funny because it's true.  That's why I don't respond to Facebook...not because I'm not interested in whatever it was that you sent me...but because I've come to regard Facebook as a repository of the most inane trivialities of life, so that it's a completely one-way experience.  I read stuff, but I don't want my stuff to be a part of that mess.  I'll post my stupid crap here instead!  Lucky you.  

Anyway...Facebook rant aside, I did think about methods people use to get in touch with me, and the relative levels of success they have.  The best way is via cell phone or texting, if you're fortunate enough to have my number.  Failing that, there's one of my email accounts that I check frequently, but only make very brief responses, since I'm likely typing it on my phone.  The instant messenger at work is very reliable, but only during business hours.   Same for my work email address, but if you send personal stuff there, it's likely to get buried under a pile of work messages in a matter of hours.  What it all boiled down to are the three worst ways of getting in touch with me...which are, in reverse order...Smoke Signals, Facebook, and Carrier Pigeon.  It sounded like a fairly catchy joke at first, but then I realized just how reliable a Carrier Pigeon would be.  I mean...the odds of sending a pigeon out into the world and having it find me are pretty remote, but if it actually did, and didn't die of Bird Flu along the way (That would be my test for ensuring I didn't get infected, BTW), holy crap!  I would respond to that so fast, if would amaze you.  Seriously...how awesome would it be to actually get a carrier pigeon nowadays?  Super awesome...that's how awesome!  Somebody get on that.  My birthday is coming up...you should totally send my birthday card via Carrier Pigeon.  You'd be my new best friend.  If you need to know exactly when my birthday is, you can look it up on my Facebook.