I Really Hope There's No Step Two

My new doorstop came with instructions

I just...wow.  Did you need the assistance?

Well, if by "assistance" you mean "something to stop the door from closing," then yes.  Much beyond that, I'm pretty sure I had a handle on the situation.  

Most of you know that I moved to a new office not long ago, and the new office actually has a door, making my new office the envy of many of my coworkers.  Most times, of course, I prefer to just leave the door open to have a feeling of freedom, but close it when privacy is required.  The issue that arises with this system is that the door on my office naturally closes.  In order to keep it open during the normal course of business, I needed a doorstop.  For the interim, I had used a box with assorted crap in it that was in the office when I moved in.  It's bigger than necessary, and is not stuff that I need to keep around, so while I was at a local department store recently (Let's call it "Bull's-Eye"), I picked up a genuine doorstop.  It was not exciting.  

Then, I brought it to work, at which point, it became instant entertainment.  While taking the thing out of the package, I actually started reading the package...something which an engineer rarely does...and was deeply amused by what it had to say.  

First of all, this particular doorstop is described as "Heavy Duty" which means it will stand up to your harshest door-holding-open needs.  

Next, the package goes on to pigeonhole the target market for this item, saying that it's "Ideal for: all doors..."  I have no idea where the ellipses are leading.  There is nothing after them.

And finally, there is a fully separate section of the packaging that contains "Directions" for use.  It includes a diagram and everything that shows the doorstop wedged under a door.  Fancy that.  Here are the instructions for use, in their entirety:  "Directions:  Slide doorstop under door."  

Is that how it works?  Amazing!  Now you can stop your doors with the doorstop the professionals use!

I know...so I figured I'd share this with all of you as a public service.  Nobody who reads this will ever be confused about how to use a doorstop again.