Apparently, it’s “Drive Really Really Really Really Really Slowly Day”

Maybe you're like Neo, and the world just seems slower to you today for some completely unknown reason.  I mean...you're not that smart.


First of all, as I've shown on Numerous Occasions, I am a genius.  Secondly, there are very simple and straight-forward tools I can use to quantify just how fast somebody is going on the road when I feel they're going too slow for my taste.  Two of those tools being a clock and a speedometer.

Granted, the speedometer in my car seems to be off by about 2MPH.  It tells me I'm going faster than I really am.  It's a conspiracy to get people to speed less and/or to artificially inflate the car's calculation for fuel economy.  Look it up.


You haven't looked it up.


That's entirely beside the point.  The point is that my commute to work involves three somewhat long stretches of road, a few miles each, that are a little twisty and two-laned.  This means if I find myself behind somebody who's driving too slow, I'm pretty much stuck there whining to myself about why they've chosen to drive a full 10MPH below the posted speed limit.  Since not everybody drives the exact same commute that I do, most times this happens, the offending driver will turn off onto a side road or turn a different direction at the next major interchange.  This morning, this happened twice, only to be followed by me immediately finding myself behind another moron driver going too slow.  All three longish stretches of commute were contaminated by losers driving at least 10MPH too slow.  This not only slows down my commute, but also decreases everybody's gas mileage, thereby making this type of driving practice anti-environmental.  It's bad enough that these pinheads decide to be an inconvenience, but do they have to take the world with it?