Maybe This One Is Stretchy

No, random person at the gas station.  That pump’s hose isn’t longer than the other one


Well, depends on your margin for measurement error.  It's entirely possible that those types of things are not measured much down below the nearest centimeter or so.  With that, it's pretty much a guarantee that one is longer than the other...just not significantly so.  


While that's all very true, it certainly would not have helped with the situation I had the pleasure of witnessing recently.

So, not long ago, I needed to get gas for my car.  As I often do, I stopped off at the gas station that's on my way home from work.  It's convenient, the prices are usually totally decent, and they don't charge more for using a credit card, which is a rare and special gift in the Greater Jeremy Area.  It was also rush hour.  This means that the place was jam packed and I had to wait in line for a fuel pump.  No big deal.  I should mention at this point that in this station there are four fueling stations, roughly arranged in a square pattern, each of which can be accessed from either side, for a total of 8 available pumps. 

One of the greatest inventions in the history of mankind is that little arrow next to the fuel indicator in your car that tells you which side of the car the fuel door is on.  No matter how familiar you are with the car you happen to be driving at that particular time, you can very easily discern which side of a fuel pump you should be on in order to put gas in the car. 

Nobody explained this concept to the person in front of me in line for the fuel pump. 

This person pulls up to the pump and gets out of the car to begin pumping gas.  She takes the hose out of the holder and turns around to look at her car...unfortunately noticing that the inlet is on the other side.  Undeterred, she begins to walk around the back of the car, fuel hose in hand, attempting to reach the hose across the entire width of the car and dispense the gas on the opposite side.  Unfortunately for her, the hose was not long enough, and she was out of luck.  Putting the hose back into the pump's holder, she reenters the car to begin again. 

The following 30 seconds were the greatest moment of my week. 

She pulls her car directly forward to the more forward pump in the same line, with the car's gas cap STILL facing away from the pump.  She then exits the vehicle and takes the hose out of the second pump.  Walking across the back of the car, she attempts to reach the hose across the entire width of the car and dispense gas on the opposite side.  Shockingly enough, she failed the second time as well. 

HOW COULD YOU THINK THIS WAS GOING TO WORK?!  YOU'RE DRIVING THE SAME CAR, THE HOSE IS THE SAME, AND YOU'RE STILL FACING THE WRONG WAY!  OF COURSE IT WAS GOING TO BE TOO SHORT!  WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?! 

Sadly, many of mankind's greatest inventions go unused due to people being unaware of their existence, stubbornness to admit that they did something wrong, and/or sheer rampant stupidity.  The poor little white arrow in this woman's car which faithfully shows which side the gas cap is on could only hopelessly point to the right while silently weeping.