Where It All Went Wrong

Nobody from fifth grade is ever going to tell me I was right about that question that one time

You're the only person from fifth grade who even remembers that question.  

That's part of what makes it worse.  Somewhere out there, there is a classroomful of people who were once all smug about being right when Jeremy was wrong who are living their miserable little lives in blissful ignorance of the fact that I was right.  Oh...and like one other person who had the same answer I did.  And a classroom textbook author who put in the wrong answer and owes me an apology that I'll never get.  

Ladies and gentlemen, Jeremy holds grudges when it's funny.  

So, to preface this story, I would like to point out that this is all true.  Why it popped into my head the other day (and randomly does on occasion) I will never know.  We take you back to Jeremy's fifth grade class and a specific lesson dealing in the difference between fact and opinion.  We'll leave aside the fact that this is a lesson that could very well stand to be retaught to everyone talking about politics on the internets.  We all know the difference by now...a fact is a bit of information that can be researched and proven (true or false), while an opinion is somebody's personal belief about something.  For example, "George Washington's portrait is on the front of the $1 Bill" is a fact easily proven by looking at a $1 bill.  I can't do that, since I only roll with 100's, but that's beside the point.  "Nicolas Cage is the worst actor in the history of creation," is a personal viewpoint, which, while shared by most everyone, makes it merely an opinion.  

So, back in fifth grade, we had gotten a worksheet with a series of statements on it, and we were to identify whether each statement was a fact or an opinion.  One would think this is pretty easy, and one would be right.  "Fred has 15 pencils."  Fact.  "Susie is the best-dressed person in the class."  Opinion.  Lather, rinse, repeat.  100% score, right?  

Wrong.  

I got one marked wrong.  Now, I was never shown the teacher's edition of the worksheet which showed the publisher's answer, but my answer did not match what my fifth grade teacher thought the answer was.  Whether my teacher's answer matched the publisher's, I'll never know.  I suspect it did not.  While I'll admit that the question was tricky, the answer is pretty clear.  I remember it like it was yesterday. 

"Jim thinks that Billy is the best choice for class president."  

FACT. 

According to either my teacher or the publisher, that is incorrect.  The above statement is an opinion.  This is bull.  

You see...the statement is actually two things in one.  It's a fact referencing an opinion, which is why it's tricky.  Is Billy the best choice for class president?  Who knows?  That's an opinion....but that's not the question now, is it?  The question is whether or not JIM THINKS that Billy is the best choice.  That's an easy bit of information to research and prove one way or the other.  Ask Jim.  The best choice for class president is a matter of opinion, but identifying what somebody's opinion is is 100% fact.  

"Jeremy's opinion is that Nicolas Cage is the worst actor in the history of creation."  Fact.  Want to prove that Jeremy thinks that?  Ask Jeremy.  Spoiler alert:  I do think that. 

There was debate in the class about this question, and myself and like one other person were right about it, but that never seemed to matter.  I still got the question marked wrong and it has clearly affected the rest of my life.  I'm still waiting for my apology, but deep down inside, I know it will never arrive.