Oh Emm Gee!

17 Things Jeremy Is Working On Today.  Number 6 Will AMAZE You!

Yeah, right.  You're a slacker.  You're working on like maybe one thing right now.  

Entirely beside the point.  Although, if you add together all of the projects I'm working on/in charge of/tracking, then it probably is up in the 17 range, but I don't feel like counting right now.  I'm a busy, important guy, with very important things which demand my attention.  

Anyway, today's Sametime Status is a nod to all of the annoying clickbait headlines that are out there all over my social media, and now news outlets.  Clickbaits are all pretty much the same.  They're little half headlines designed to get you interested in a topic you wouldn't normally be interested in, and then they abruptly end before getting to any actual information.  That way, you have to click on the link in order to find out the thing that you're not actually interested in, but now you're curious.  

In the time between when you click on the link and the page comes up (seriously, on the order of milliseconds), there is a behind-the-scenes silent auction going on between your internet provider and dozens of advertizing companies to decide which ads you see on the page you're visiting.  These ad companies are surprisingly sophisticated with this stuff, deciding based on your surfing habits, search history, demographics, location, browser type, computer type, oxford comma use, and all manner of other criteria how much to offer your ISP for the right to display their ad on your webpage. 

So, this crap is splattered all over my Facebook by people who don't know any better.  Every day, I wade through dozens of "Which 'Real Housewife of Walla Walla' Are You?" and "What Does Your Choice of Rory Gilmore's Boyfriend Say About You?" and "Army Will Replace Humvees With..." and "26 Struggles That Only People With Morton's Toe Will Understand...Number 9 is SO TRUE!"  You've seen them.  Don't pretend you haven't. 

Mmmmm....Burrito

Breakfast Math: 82 is greater than 50

Breakfast or not, that's pretty basic stuff.  Also, does math change after lunch?  I would have thought it would be a little more constant. 

Today's story does not necessarily deal with math as a function of breakfast so much as performing math while buying breakfast.  

STORY TIME!!!

So, not long ago, I was in line at the cafeteria to buy my breakfast.  In this case, it was two pieces of toast and a bottle of iced tea.  This comes to 2 dollars and some change...a fact that is in no way germane to the story.  The guy in front of me was buying something else for breakfast.  He had a breakfast burrito and maybe some other stuff.  His total was $5.82.  

The guy was clearly expecting his breakfast to cost less than this, since he had a 5 dollar bill out in order to complete his side of the transaction.  Also, he questioned the total at first, commenting that apparently, the price of the "breakfast special"changes from day to day, a fact that he was not initially prepared for.  Then, things got weird. 

The guy says, "Okay, I have the change," and starts digging around in his pocket for the remainder of the cost, as you would expect.  This was not like the case at the gas station not long ago, where a guy is fishing around all of his pockets, futilely trying to find the extra 30 cents to pay for his stuff before I offered him a dollar just to move the line along.  The guy clearly had the extra money, it just wasn't in his hand at that very moment.  He proceeds to take out two quarters and places them down on the counter, then stares at the cashier.  

The two of them just looked at each other for a full three awkward seconds, the customer waiting for the cashier to take his money, and the cashier waiting for a sum of money equal to or greater than the payment due.  Oh, and there I am, looking at both of them wondering who was going to realize what was happening first, while my toast was getting cold.  

Eventually, the guy realized that 82 cents was greater than the 50 cents he had offered and procured another dollar.  Everybody enjoyed their breakfast.  I mean...I'm guessing.  I have no idea what the cashier ate. 

I Need A Tape Measure

One of these days, my perfect streak of Garbage Can Basketball will come to an end  

Even a blind squirrel finds a nut now and again.  

So, you may remember that I recently changed offices.  It's a period of mixed feelings right now.  I miss my door, and the neighbors are noisier here than they were back in the old place.  I tend to filter them out with headphones, but that's a problem at lunch time, because the in-ear not-quite-noise-isolating headphones I have make it really loud to crunch on things.  Plug your ears and eat a potato chip if you don't know what I'm talking about.  

But, the new place is not without its merits.  I get more exercise walking longer distances to meetings.  I also get to be outside more walking longer distances to meetings in different buildings.  The novelty of that will go away right quick once winter comes, but that's beside the point entirely.  The parking situation is significantly better, and the cafeteria is very close.  

Also, I have a perfect record in Garbage Can Basketball.  

I'm not competing against anyone, nor is this a time-wasting game.  Whenever I have to throw something out, I just crumple it up and toss it across the aisle at the waste basket about 15 feet (5 meters) away.  This is only a slightly shorter distance than the garbage can in the hallway by my old office, but the results have been astonishing.  I have yet to miss the can!  It's true.  I keep expecting it to happen.  I'm not good at basketball, and my attempts at the can in my old office more often than not ended with me walking outside to pick scrap paper off the floor.  My streak is inexplicable, and I'm just going to enjoy it and ride it out as long as I can.  One of these days, I'll miss the can and end up just throwing crap into Jim's office, but until then...I'm on a roll!