They Actually Thought This Would Work

Results of internet polls are skewed…at least partially because of me

I sincerely doubt anybody actually expects those to be scientific anyway.

Well therein lies the problem.  These internet polls exist as a way of generating revenue for the website, which means that somebody is paying money for them, which in turn means that somebody is taking the results seriously.  This is unacceptable.  

To begin today, let's start with the premise that newspapers are a diminishing industry.  Sure, they will continue to exist for quite some time, but many of them are closing up shop, trimming their workforce and relying on wire news reports, and trying desperately to come up with new ways to stay relevant in an increasing digital age.  Many of the ones that are still around offer up the bulk of their content online, while selling advertising space as well as offering paid digital subscriptions.  

Who pays for online subscriptions to newspapers?  

To force you to pay them, some have come up with clever little ruses designed to make it worth your money to read their content.  They'll let you read a couple articles for free, then block you out until you pay up.  It doesn't take long to figure out that clearing your browser's cache gives you a reset.  One of them, I found you can simply edit the cookie to say that you've read -10,000 articles, and you're good for a while before you reach your limit of +10.  Others have taken a far more amusing approach: Allowing you to answer survey questions in exchange for unbridled access to articles.  

Let my inner troll come out to play!

This little gizmo will cover up the article until you either pay for a subscription, or answer a couple of questions for whoever's doing this research.  One of them asked me if I had ever used The Google (well...it just said "Google," but I knew what it meant).  I said I had not.  One earlier today asked me if I was familiar with the website Carfax...you know...the one with those stupid commercials on TV.  Once again, I said I had not.  When asked how many hours a week I watch reality TV, I said over 40.  According to survey results scattered around newspaper websites nationwide, I'm an 80 year old grandmother who plays inordinate amounts of video games, eats enough sweet snack foods to give diabetes to a small country, is under 5 feet tall, will be voting for the Libertarian party in the next election, owns more than 20 guns, and doesn't believe in vaccinations because the vaccine-believers need to have better celebrity endorsements.  I'm not even kidding about any of those...there was actually a comment section for why I believe in my stance on vaccinations, and I told them essentially it was because of Jenny McCarthy and Michelle Bachmann.  

And somebody now believes this...and allowed me to trade this information for internets content that they actually think I should pay for.  Victory!!!