Friday, February 24, 2012

No Smoothies Until Further Notice


I never liked that blender anyway


Is the blender in any way related to The Famed Toaster Of Hades?


I don't think so, but I wouldn't be surprised.  Here's my story:


Awe geeze...we have to sit through a story now?  


Not long ago, I decided that I was going to start making smoothies.  This had nothing to do with laughing every time I hear the word "smoothies" because of how my old home-ec teacher used to pronounce "SMIEWthies," although, I'll admit that is not lost in the thought process.  In order to do this, I needed the ice maker to work on my fridge (It no longer does...I should try to fix that at some point, I guess) and I needed a blender.  I went to some store somewhere and picked out what looked like a nice blender with features and stuff, that happened to match the decor of my kitchen.  Seemed like a win-win.

I enjoyed the occasional smoothie with whatever fruit was available locally, experimenting with different flavors to mixed results (Peach and blueberry...awwe yeah!).  The problem was often the blender.  It wasn't particularly adept at the initial blending part when there were still ice cubes involved.  It would create a pocket of air around the blades into which nothing would fall to be blended until I turned the thing off, shook it around or shoved a spoon down in there to get things loosened up.  After a couple tries at this, the smoothie would usually get the idea and blend up, afterwards, I would enjoy a refreshing fruity beverage. 

That is until recently, when there was an uncharacteristically loud cracking sound when mixing up a smoothie.  Blending ice is never without its crunches, but this was unusual.  Also, afterward, the blender motor would spin, but the blades went nowhere.  I pull the jar off the blender motor to discover the piece that connects the blade mechanism to the motor's drive shaft in three pieces underneath.  Come to think of it, this is not unlike what happened to my lawnmower last summer, and the concepts are strangely similar.  Either way, this cheap plastic thing that is pretty integral to the blending process and thus, you'd think would be made of something a little sturdier, is shot.  I needed a replacement.  I do the usual internetz thing looking up the model number of my blender and what websites are available that sell spare blender parts...bupkis.  Unphased, I locate the owner's manual (oh yeah...I had the owner's manual.  Don't think I ever opened it until just now, but I still had it) and discover the customer service phone number for the company.  Here's where it gets fun.

The large, faceless automatonic company which produced my blender is none other than General Electric.  Remember that name, kids.  I call up the number and speak with a reasonably nice representative who looks up the model number of my blender and informs me that they do not sell any spare parts for that blender.  I ask about a whole replacement blade mechanism or full jar.  Nope...they can do roughly nothing to help me.  I say "roughly" because what they can do is take my order for a whole new blender and ship it to me.  I explained to the reasonably nice representative that I would not be placing an order that day.  In fact, my exact words were more along the lines of "If I have to buy a whole new blender because you can't replace a cheap plastic part, I'll let you guess what brand of blender I'm NOT buying." 

So...to the fine folks at General Electric who make disposable blenders, you are officially On Notice.  (Again, I coined that phrase LONG before Colbert, but have no documentation to back that up.)  Your blenders are bad and you should feel bad.  

And to all of you loyal readers out there...anyone have any suggestions for a good quality blender that will make smoothies, not fall apart, comes in satin silver, and won't break the bank?  I'm all ears.   

2 comments:

Pah said...

Did you forget about Blendtec?
http://willitblend.com/videos/view/130

Jeremy said...

While I'm certainly intrigued by a blender capable of dismembering hockey pucks, there was the part about not breaking the bank. Blendtec blenders start at $400 and go up from there. No smoothie in the world is that good.