Yakko Agrees With Me

As sad as it is to think about, one of these days, Elvis really is going to die


You mean all those Elvis impersonators in Las Vegas, right?


Tyler Durden once said, "On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero." Sure, he was a figment of the imagination of a fictional character, but you have to admit that he had a point.


Wow. Old-school intro. Most of your loyal readers won't recognize that call-back.


The point is that at some point, Elvis really is going to die. We may not know when that is, since he's been out of the public eye for so long, but it's going to happen. Kind of a sad and sobering thought for your Tuesday, but it's been raining here for the last 3 days, so I'm grumpy.

Also, I heard mention somewhere that today is the 34th anniversary of Elvis faking his own death in a Memphis motel room. He's gone on to release no fewer than 20 hit singles since, been mentioned countless times in cartoons and crackpot conspiracy theories, single-handedly resurrected the velvet industry, and is currently ranked second behind Jesus on the list of celebrities with the most commemorative dinner plates.


In case you're wondering, Jeremy's actually not making up the 20 "posthumous" hit singles. That's entirely accurate. It also leaves out the 79 compilation albums that have also been released featuring Elvis's songs.