Monday, August 15, 2011

Lesser Names Are Already Taken

I want to buy a horse and name it "Basketball"


Owning a horse is a substantial commitment. Are you sure you have the dedication?


Okay, so by saying "I want to," what I'm really saying is, "It would be amusing if I were to..." I have no intention of buying a horse.


Well, you did go to Taco Bell recently...


Wait, what?

Anyway. I thought of this recently while at the race track betting the life savings on the ponies.


If your life savings amounts to two bucks, you have some issues going on.


Okay, fine...I'm not a big better on horsies, and the most I ever put down on one race (before the rest of my whimsical story takes place) was four dollars. Not exactly "life savings" range, but that's hardly worth mentioning. What is worth mentioning is what happened on the last race of the day.

Over the course of all the races at the track, I found myself in the black by a whopping $11. Woohoo! There was a horse in the final race that was the favorite to win and went by the name "Calgary Enforcer." How could I not bet on this horse? It seemed like destiny that I was to walk away from the track ahead by at least 20 bucks, and I'd be sitting pretty eating lunch all week. Since it was the final race, (known in the industry as "Nut Up Or Shut Up Time") I laid down all of my 11 dollars on Calgary Enforcer to show. Meaning that if he came in anywhere in the top 3 in the race, I would win money. I did mention he was the favorite to win, didn't I? Seems like a mildly safe bet that he's at least be among the leaders at the end. Long story short, a 66-1 underdog won the race, and 5 other horses finished between that horse and my boy Calgary Enforcer. I lost my entire day's earnings and went home with exactly what I showed up with.


And everyone lived happily ever after.


Indeed. Also, I thought of a great Sametime Status. Since lots of people play a basketball game called "Horse" I thought it would be an amazingly genius idea to have a horse and name it "Basketball." It's a thought that entertained me.

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