Needs Clarification

As sad as I am to admit it, Bon Jovi clearly has me beaten in the "Faces Rocked" category


So how many faces have you rocked?


That's the thing. I'm not sure. The whole thing seems a little ambiguous to me, as to exactly when and how a face becomes "rocked." And as such, I feel obligated to Call Bunk on Jon Bon Jovi's claim that he has rocked a full one million faces. If you go with the most literal sense, meaning that somebody's face gets hit by a rock, I'm pretty sure I'm throwing a big goose egg up on the board.


You said Rocks, not Eggs.


Now that said, I'm reasonably certain that Bon Jovi (yes, I know his real name is Bongiovi, but I'm going to stick with the stage name) has NOT thrown enough rocks to strike one million faces. I firmly believe that one rock can hit at least 3-4 faces before losing momentum, but even that means a minimum of 250,000 rocks thrown. That's a lot. I'm pretty sure that I haven't thrown that many rocks in my lifetime, leave alone throw them directly at somebody's face.

Let's go with the more reasonable assumption that "rocking faces" is a musical term, since Bon Jovi is a musician after all. This is a pretty tenuous assumption because only one line in the song makes any reference to the protagonist being a musician (...a loaded six-string on my back...) and there is never a mention that his motorcycle-borne travels are for the express purpose of putting on concerts with said six-string. The fact that he is (canonically speaking) wanted by law enforcement would suggest his primary occupation is otherwise. Despite this, the claim is made that the main character has rocked each and every one of the one million faces he has come across in his travels. While I won't begin to doubt the 1 Million number, the belief that every last one of those people was so enamored by his music that it could be said that their faces were rocked is a remarkable reach. Even at a sold-out Bon Jovi concert, I can guarantee there is somebody in that audience who won't like whatever song is being played at any given moment.

Sadly, I myself have played precious few concerts that can be even remotely categorized as "rock" so my number of rocked faces using this definition is pretty low. So, it's unfortunate for me to admit it, but Bon Jovi has almost assuredly rocked more faces than I have...but I'm definitely calling shenanigans on his One-Million, One Hundred Percent claim.